“Inviting the invading army over for dinner, buffet style, is a bad idea. Especially when I just took a bath in the last of your mac and cheese.”

“I need your compliments to feed my ego, because it’s bored of mac and cheese. And honestly, so am I.”

“I invited my girlfriend over and made her dinner. I didn’t cook, but I did eat her.”

“Diversity is like a buffet, only with people. That’s why I like associating with individuals who are as close to macaroni and cheese as humanly possible.”

“I ran over a dog last night on my way home, and then I wondered what my wife had made for dinner. The two events are disappointingly not connected. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“After dinner I wanted to talk to her about buying a clone. But that’s probably just too much for her to handle, especially since she herself is a clone, and I murdered the original of her. You’d think she’d be grateful, the unoriginal bitch.”

“I like to feel like just one of the guys. Especially when I hang out with the girls.”