“She asked if I found what she was telling me very exciting, and I managed to yelp out “very” while yawning.”

“I asked her if she’d give me all her love, and she flatly said no. I got excited because while she said she wouldn’t give me all her love, she said nothing about not wanting to give me some of her love.”

“You want to tell me what this is? she asked as she gabbed my erection. “A miracle of science,” I replied.”

“She tried to insult me in front of the whole party. So what could I do but yawn and walk away?”

“I had a Chinese girlfriend once who asked me how much she meant to me. I knew very little Chinese, so I responded, "Chicken Lo Mein.”

“I could see that she was eager to please and impress me, and I was excited to see someone so excited to try to excite me. In all the excitement I forgot where I was, who I was, and why I was trying to kill her.”

“I saw her at the party last Saturday. I could tell by her body language that she wanted me. She was wearing a shirt that said, “I want you Jarod.” I left alone that night. Come Sunday morning, I found out that she went home with Jarod Wheedlebreeder. I guess the bonds of Jarod aren’t as tight as I thought.”