Anne Eliot

“I’m talking head over heels, down on myknees, from the bottom of my heart, IN love,with you, Vere. That kiss blew me away. Iknow you felt something too—somethingmore for me. Don’t you?”

“Jenna turned and shot her another worried look. Her tone was ultra soothing. “Yeah. I hear you. And I’m head over heels with Harry Potter andPeeta Mellark. Stay with me. Okay? I’m right here. I feel your love. Now feel mine and start walking.”

“After all the work and lies—and lotion—it took to get me into this parking lot, I’m not going home without more success to add to my list.”

“Pretend-dating Gray Porter is going to be like pretend-dating a rainbow. Everyone looks at him all the time.”

“So that's a make-up kiss? Let's have another fight soon.”

“- Me odias x lo q dije anoche?- Yo no quiero—puedo odiarte. Te quiero. Stas lista para hablar?- No. No más hablar.- Lo haremos. Estoy en camino. Y Vamos a hablar, esta vez con MSH PSH.- NO!! NO!! Basta de hablar. EEEP. SB! SB!- Traduce: EEEP y BS? X favor. No entiendo.Al abrir completamente la puerta, mi teléfono vibra y suena de nuevo.Leo su respuesta mientras corro.- EEEP = Estoy En El Porche.SB = Solo Besarse.Entonces podemos hablar.”

“Suspiro y me muevo a estudiar los carteles de películas: el Sr. Darcy con su mano en la mejilla de Elizabeth hace nada por mí, más que querer escupir. Puede ser que la ame, pero durante toda su vida, Sr. Darcy quiso ser un desgraciado irritable. Edward Cullen, con sus brazos alrededor de Bella protectoramente mientras Jacob mira hacia ellos, me hace querer vomitar. ¿Y ellos llamaron a su bebe Renesme? POR FAVOR. Jack y Rose del Titanic me tienen apretando los puños. Rose debió abandonarlo ese día. Si lo hubiera hecho, podrían haber llegado a la balsa salvavidas. Romeo y Julieta se ven como idiotas para mí ahora. Ellos sabían que no funcionaria. Romeo nunca debería haber vuelto a su balcón. Fue su estúpida culpa. Él lo sabía. Si él simplemente no hubiera intentado, ambos habrían vivido. ¿Y quién bebe estúpido veneno para resolver sus problemas? Lamentable. Patético. Todos ellos.”

“Soy una victima en mi propia guerra.”

“No es un maldito “llanto de ayuda” así que retrocede, Sir Lancelot. Estaciona tu corcel blanco en la vida de otra chica.”

“And you do, don't you? Love me just a little? Because I'll say it again. Right now, to your face. I straight up love you, Jess Jordan. I'll shout it if it will help plead my case. But I have to at least get that point across before one more minute passes.”

“I know I'm acting crazy but I'm in love with this girl. Major love. And I have no idea what to do about it, so it's messing with my sanity.”

“You have my word. I won't let anyone-anything hurt you. This will work out. It will.”

“You’re the luckiest person in the whole world to have already figured out what you love. And you’ll be, quite possibly, the stupidest person in the world—if you don’t hold on to it.”

“The soft trembling feel of her lips sends lightning down my spine. And I soar, fly, and die of happiness all in the same second.”

“God, I wish I could see your face when I ask you this question.Here goes: Is there a chance you could love me? Even a little?Because I do – love you. And I think you know that already too.”

“Let the contract state that I want the Mr Darcy accent once a week!”

“OHMYGOD. I hate myself right now. I think I also just blatantly sniffed him!”

“With two small touches and a smile, he's killed my brain.”

“We need to meet and flesh out the details of our... you know... whatever. I don't know what to call it. Our contract.""I was thinking the same thing. But can we call it our epic summer romance? Contract sounds so stuffy." He smiles again.”

“But ignoring Gray Porter is like ignoring an elephant in a tutu. A really hot elephant—in a very manly tutu.”

“We'll do roller. Okay?"She shrugs. "It's your funerals. Whatever you think will seem realistic, but know this: innocent children will die, limbs will break, and walls will come crashing down.”

“I want you to know if we die right now, I won't be able to distinguish if I've made it to heaven or not, because I'm already sitting here with you.. like this." -Gray Porter”

“Ignoring Gray Porter is like ignoring an elephant in a tut. A really hot elephant in a tutu... a very manly tutu." -Jess”

“Person Slaughtered: Me.Method used: Dimple.”

“Maybe because he's already been in my dreams for so long, it feels to me as though we've always been together.”

“I swear you can see in Juliet's eyes that she knows she's going to die because of how she feels for this guy.I think, this scene is where the true tragedy lives. It's not because they both die in the end. The tragedy is all right there…in the very beginning. When he smiles at her. When she instantly forgets.Forgets how dangerous he is.You can't blame her for how it plays out. Romeo's so amazing in this movie—what he says to her—how he looks at her. She's obviously drowning in butterflies.I know for a fact now, butterflies like that can be horrible, beautiful things.”

“Sometimes different is not better,”

“Are you completely slow? YES. I'm mental. This is why I have a list called ‘how to be normal”

“First. Don't get drunk. Don't smoke anything.""Duh. What are you, my dad? That's easy. I don't drink. We aren't even twenty-one. I seriously doubt anyone will be drinking at the Hodjwick house. And who smokes cigarettes anymore? So gross."Dustin shook his head. "You are so backwards. I wasn't talking about cigarettes, and if you truly believe no one will be drinking at a high school party on a Saturday night then you are too much of a baby to even leave your own house.”

“No soy una pieza de carne. No esperes estos labios para estar a tu entera disposición. Ni siquiera por ocho mil dólares.”

“she thinks we‟re both of the same species, but vultures don‟t make friends withhummingbird”

“—Y lo haces, ¿no? ¿Amarme aunque sea unpoco? Porque lo diré otra vez. Justo ahora, en tu cara. La verdad es que yo te amo, Jess Jordan. Lo gritaré si eso ayuda a mi caso. Pero tengo que expresar por lo menos ese punto antes de que transcurra un minuto más. Mi rostro se pone caliente cuando él continúa:—Responde. Por favor. Es importante. Poniendo todo a un lado. ¿Qué hay en tu corazón… qué sientes por mí?Encuentro su mirada.—He estado enamorada de ti desde la primera vez que me hablaste de tu dormitorio de Star Wars. Y ahora te amo tanto que me aterra. ¿Está bien?—¡Sí! Estoy tan feliz justo ahora…”

“—Nombres —hablé por encima de mi hombro —. Acabemos de una vez con esto. ¿Cómo piensas que debería llamarme? Me aterra — bromeé—. Llámame Edward, o Peeta o Príncipe Encantador, y lo juro; me largo.”

“Eres una chica con mucha suerte.Nada sucedió. No pasó nada.Pensé que él era agradable.Vamos. Amigo. Salgamos de aquí.¿Qué hiciste? Eres un imbécil.Nada. No pasó nada. No hice nada. Juroque ella quería esto.Espera. Por favor. No me dejes aquí.Lo siento. Lo siento tanto… no puedodesatar el nudo…No es su culpa. Jess, nada de esto es tu culpa.Pero lo es. Le creí cuando me llamó hermosa.Nada sucedió. No realmente.Lo siento tanto.Eres una chica con mucha, mucha suerte.”

“I grab my bag and open the door, trying to ignore him. But ignoring Gray Porter is like ignoring an elephant in a tutu. A really hot elephant-in a very manly tutu.”

“I do have rough, manly, and mannish, man hands. So glad you noticed.”

“Adorkable. It's in its own category.”

“I'm not going to make a big deal about a few tummy flutters because...dead people, old people, even furniture would get butterflies if they met this guy.”

“The tragedy is all right there...in the very beginning when he smiles at her. When she instantly forgets. Forgets how dangerous he is.”

“She's trapped me on the front side of the counter. Way. Too. Close. To. Her. LIP-GLOSS.”

“I pat the brand new twenty-seven inch Macintosh computers Mr. Foley brought us. 'These boxes alone should make both of us scream like it's Christmas morning! Snap out of it. Santa came! Now we get to play with all of our toys!”

“This time, I know all of his tricks: dimples, divots, smiles, and cute eye-crinkle things. Bring it on.”

“My heart races and I look away. “Well I care. So, write it down. For nine weekends and eight thousand dollars, what's yours is mine including your friends.” I throw in a little sarcastic eye flutter. “We're going to be so head-over-heels-in-love. I can't wait to see how romantic you are!” “Oh no. I refuse to be your kind of bumper-sticker-romantic. Don't mistake me for Mr. Darcy.” I gasp. “You don't know Hunger Games or Forks, Washington, but you know Mr. Darcy? Start talking.” “Crap! My grandmother's a fan. She's tortured me since birth with Mr. Darcy. Thanks to her DVD collection, I can quote Jane Austen faster than the Elmo song.” I laugh, surprised again. “Prove it.” “Elizabeth, daaarling!” He's launched into a breathless English accent. “I love, love, love you, and I never want to be parted from you from this day forward. Pardon me, whilst I puke…” “No way!” I beam. “Let the contract state that I want the Mr. Darcy accent once a week!” I can't help but laugh again because he's shaking his head and laughing back.”

“Yeah…uh, about Facebook…all that social networking. I don't have it. My parents check my sister's emails, Facebook, and texts like stalkers. In order to get our cell phones, Kika and I had to agree to the Jordan Household No Privacy Act. I do have a school email account. But Facebook and Twitter…if you're me…there's no point. You'd be my only ‘friend’ besides my family.”

“We'll need to clarify for the record, that I'm a pretend girlfriend. Pretend,” she demands. “Got it? If you're giving me that goofy look because you think there are going to be benefits as part of this deal, you can just hold it right there! Pretend girlfriend. Say it with me.” I shake my head at her outrageous comments. “Please. I've got that understood.” “Good.”

“I nod and tap my fingers against my knees. “What to do with a girlfriend while I work my hours at the TOG. Hmm…Can I really do this? Will I be able to pull it off? Will she be able to read at the snack bar tables without losing her mind,” I mumble. “Do you always talk to yourself?” “Yes. Bad habit. Does it bother you?” I walk back over to her side of the small stage. “No. It's interesting. I hate people knowing my thoughts. But yours just fall out of your head so easily.” She shrugs. “I never thought of it like that…but you're my girlfriend now…so who cares if you know what I think?” Her cheeks turn pink, and I laugh.”

“I hop onto the stage and joke-sing: “The Phaaaanntom of the Opera is there, innnnnside your mind.” I attack the curtain with a flourish and sing on, “innnnside your mind.”

“I start the engine and shoot a glance through the tinted window, figuring if anyone is still watching, they can no longer see past my silhouette. Gray seems to have been waiting for a movement like this. He's waving like a dork and swinging my long forgotten pink hoodie high in the air so I can see it. He's yelling, “Bye Jess!” He flips my hoodie onto his shoulders and ties it around his neck until it looks like a ridiculous scarf—as though he means to wear it like that for a long time.”

“Without another word, I turn my back and start for my Jeep, wondering if he can hear how loudly he's made my heart pound. “Okay then, see you after school, Jess. It's a date. We'll have some fun! Good luck on your afternoon final!” He sounds like a stupid megaphone. When I don't answer and hunch my shoulders, his low laugh adds a trail of goose bumps coursing down my neck.”

“If you don't want my services, then it's only fair you cut me loose so I can make another girl or two happy this summer. Or three.” He shifts my papers into a neater pile. “What will they do once I take you off the market?” I ask. “I can only imagine the poor girls wandering around like a lost herd of sheep all summer, wondering where you went.” I risk another glance at the staring girls and shudder. “Do they even blink? Baa. Baa. Baa.”