Bill Condon

“The thing I've noticed about life is that it just keeps coming at you. And it can be a real bummer. What you need to remember is that you're not alone. You've got friends and family. That's how we get by. We talk and share and eat cake and giggle in the dark, even when we're scared - no, especially when we're scared.”

“Hey, Tiffany. If I have to walk - if I have to steal a horse - I'll be there”

“I like you but you mightn't feel the same way about me, and I wouldn't blame you. To save us both from any awkward moments I've figured out an easy way to do this. Nod if you're even slightly interested in getting to know me. Write a ten page explanation if you're not.”

“I smile at the phone, wishing Reggie could see me.'You're alright then, luv? No dramas?''Not a one.' I reach the kitchen. 'Thanks for thinking about me.''Gotta look after my girl. Only one I got.'My smile gets even bigger.”

“It's not a bit strange,' I tell her. 'Davey's thinking of taking up shooting as a hobby, so he wants to go check out the rifle range and he asked me if I'd like to go with him.'Kayla snorts. 'Are you kidding me? He should be checking you out - not the rifle range! No way is that a date.'I go to the one person I know I can depend on. 'It is a date, isn't it, Reggie?''S'pose it all depends on how it goes,' he says. 'If you have a good time, come home happy, then it's a date.''Okay.''But if he shoots yer, it wasn't a date - it was an ambush.''Reggie! That's mean!''You know I'm only kiddin', Tiffy. He puts his arms out and I gladly fall into them. 'Don't worry about what anyone says, luv. It's a date.”

“I've always wondered about Stop-and-Go guys. Do you like it if drivers wave and say thanks as they go past? Or is it better if they ignore you? Most times when I'm out in the car with Bull, I give a wave and a "thanks". Usually the guy with the sign stares at me as if I've just escaped from an asylum. So what's the right thing to do?''I've never met anyone like you before, Tiffany.''Really?''No - never.''Then you just haven't been to enough asylums.”

“The thing I've noticed about life-' Zoe pauses to drain the last of her coffee and lick the foam off her lips, 'is that it just keeps coming at you. And it can be a real bummer. What you need to remember, Tiff, is that you're not alone. You've got friends and family. That's how we get by. We talk and share and eat cake and giggle in the dark, even when we're scared - no, especially when we're scared.'Wow. Reggie would be impressed. She's as good as Dr Phil. And not bald.”

“Sometimes words just don't get you there... don't let you say all the stuff from deep in your heart, stuff that no dictionary has a name for.”

“Not bad, not bad. That's one down. Only a million to go.''Right. Thanks, Shark.'I should have known to expect something like that from him.'Now that you've proven yourself I reckon you've earned a go at a very important assignment.''Making tea?''No, I said important. You want to have a crack at it?''All right. That'd be good.''That's the way. Run down the post office and get the mail for us. Key's hanging up in the front office. When you come back, I want you to open it up and sort it into three piles: good stuff, bad stuff, and shit. Off you go.'You bastard, Shark. You bastard. I say that to myself as I trudge away.”

“Bull spots us and gives his two-thumbs salute, trotting backwards. Imm-pressive! All those years of practice are starting to pay off - his footy is still woeful but he's got the reverse trot down to a fine art.”

“Reggie always wears the team jersey - and a pair of shorts - no matter how cold it gets.I'm betting he dreams about one day being called on to make a comeback.'We need five tries in the last three minutes. It's almost impossible, Reggie. That's why I'm asking you.''Piece of cake, Dusty. Here, mind me false teeth.' Dusty's been with the Gunners as long as I can remember. He's an institution - or he should be in one - it's one of the two.”

“Kayla doesn't move. 'Where's Colin?'Inky peers all around her, as if expecting to find him.Then she shrugs.'Oh dear.' Her face is full of lines that seem to dance when she smiles. 'Looks like I lost another one.''Where is he? Did you two have a fight?'A loud scraping noise comes from outside. Kayla turns on the side light and we both look through the curtain. Colin's putting out the bins.'Well how about that?' says Inky. 'I finally got one that's house trained.”

“About two months after this photo was taken I was born and my mum died - clean swap. Caring about someone I never knew doesn't make sense, but that's how it is. This photo means a lot. There must be some invisible mother-daughter wiring that runs from her image in a straight line to my heart.”

“That day I think we really saw each other for the first time. I mean, saw beyond the bag of bones on the outside. You take away her pretty and my plain and what you get underneath is about the same: a couple of lost girls looking to be found.”

“I wouldn't go against Reggie and actively encourage Zoe to move in, but I think she and I would do okay together. If nothing else she could help me in my never-ending campaign. Some people want to save the rivers or save the whales, even save the entire planet - I just want to keep the toilet seat down.”

“Bull stares into the hazy distance as though the right words are out there somewhere and all he has to do is claim them as his own. Sometimes it gets so quiet in Gungee you can hear conversations from a hundred years ago breathing on a gust of wind.”

“I'll save me money, thanks. Already diagnosed meself, anyway. I'm a cactus.''Cactus? Right. Great work, there, Doc. I'm glad you're not my bloody doctor.”

“When are you gunna forget that? It was ages ago.'Only last year, actually. Reggie was convinced he had cancer because he had a black pot on his tongue - he switched to tea bags after the doctor told him it was a tea leaf.”

“I stroll into the kitchen. Bull's making lunch. He's actually no relation to me, though secretly I look on him as my big brother, sometimes even my dad. When I needed a father for parent-teacher nights, Bull was there; if I fell out of a tree he'd run to catch me. He usually dropped me, but at least he tried; he's my full time body guard and chauffer, and, when I was thirteen and feeling depressed after spending too long in front of a mirror, he was the one I asked - 'Do you think I'm pretty?''No, mate,' he said, 'I wouldn't call you pretty at all. No way. You're beautiful.'It's still near the top of one of my all-time favourite lies.”

“She's an old, close-to-the-ground, jelly-belly woman with bald patches showing through her wispy grey hair. It doesn't seem like she's got a lot going for her, but she's still smiling. Been around the sunflowers too long, I'd say.”

“Another voice rages. I hate that boy! I hate me! I am so incredibly stupid!A sunflower leans over the fence, smilingHow dare you!I rip off its head and throw it in the gutter.The smart thing to do is to keep going on. Walk away quickly and no one will know what I've done. But I can't move because my eyes are locked on the slowly opening front door - locked on Mrs Muir.'I'm sorry.' My tiny voice sounds so pathetically lame, but I've still got more lameness for her. 'I never do this sort of thing. I like sunflowers. I was just angry about something - nothing to do with you or the flower. I'm really, really sorry.''Oh, you are upset! Well, never mind'. Mrs Muir comes closer to me. 'Goodness, we all get cross. The main thing is: did it make you feel any better?''No. Yes. Maybe. A little bit.''Would you like to do another one? There's more out the back, too. You go for your life dear. I don't mind at all - they need a good pruning.”

“Tiff like in Breakfast at Tiffany's,' he says. 'Right?' I couldn't be more shocked. 'Um... yes, that's right - it's an old movie.''Is it? Don't watch that much TV. I've only heard of the book - got it at home. I bought it 'cause Truman Capote wrote it. I was stoked by In Cold Blood. He wrote that, too. You read it?''No.''Aw, you gotta. It rocks.'I look away as if I've been suddenly distracted by something out the window. It's my version of the pause button. There's a lot of information to process. Here's a boy my own age; he shakes my hand, he talks to me - not just to ask directions to the toilet - and he reads books.Heathcliff?”