Brian Andreas

“I used to wait for a sign, she said, before I did anything. Then one night I had a dream & an angel in black tights came to me & said, you can start any time now, & then I asked is this a sign? & the angel started laughing & I woke up. Now, I think the whole world is filled with signs, but if there's no laughter, I know they're not for me.”

“Today all I could remember was the way your body held the ocean of myself & for one moment there was only one us in all creation.”

“When I die, she said, I am coming back as a tree with deep roots and I'll wave my leaves to the children every morning on their way to school & whisper tree songs at night in their dreams. Trees with deep roots know about the things that children need.”

“even after all these winters, I see you sitting there, perched at the edge of sunlight, feeling like the invitation of spring”

“frustrated because it's going too fast to see but if you could see it, it wouldn't make any sense because you'd be looking too close”

“I sometimes wake in the early morning & listen to the soft breathing of my child & I think to myself, this is one thing I will never regret & I carry that quiet with me all day long.”

“she tapped her finger and nothing happened and she thought she had lost her magic, but it had only changed and it took her awhile to figure it out.”

“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by my self.”

“The first time her laughter unfurled its wings in the wind, we knew that the world would never be the same”-”

“Brian Andreas Promise #1:Promises to Myself #1: I will tell the truth unless I get confused & I think I could get in real trouble if someone found out, in which case, I will lie as convincingly as possible for as long as I feel the need.”

“One Child:I hope it will be said we taught them to stand tall & proud, even in the face of history & the future was made new & whole for us all, one child at a time.”

“Mr Right:He loved her for almost everything she was & she decided that was enough to let him stay for a very long time.”

“Life Plan:I asked her what she planned to do with her life & she said she was way beyond that point already. I'm just happy I remember to be there when it happens, she said.”

“Last Minute:I have to buy all my presents at the last minute, she said, or I get too excited & just give them away.”

“Invention:I always wanted to invent something that would move around & make funny noises & would change the world as we know it & I forgot all about that until we had kids & now I see I came pretty close.”

“Hoping to Fall Out:Leaning out as far as she can, hoping she'll fall soon, so she can stop worrying about whether it will happen or not.”

“Favorite Places:I'm not that good at being a tourist because I'm always looking at the way the light shines in your hair or the way your dress opens to the wind & my favorite places in the world are places filled with you.”

“Quiet Prayer:As long as the sun shall rise goes the old lovers vow. But we are children of a scientific age & have no time for poetry. Still, I offer a quiet prayer of thanks for the sunlight each time I see your face.”

“Aerobics:Death take me now & spare me the pain, she said. It was difficult for me to get that excited. Get a grip, I said, it's only aerobics.”

“Falling into Place:deciding everything is falling into place perfectly as long as you don't get too picky about what you mean by place. Or perfectly.”

“Empty Spaces:After his father died he carried his life more gently & left an empty space for the birds & other creatures.”

“Bits of the World:gathering up bits of the world & setting them out in an order that her children can understand”

“Almost Beyond:She laid on my chest & her breathing filled me almost to beyond what I could hold.”

“Treasures:The most important thing you leave behind is the stuff that turns into treasures when children find it.”

“Thousand Moments:I still remember the day the world took you back & there was never time to thank you for the thousand scattered moments you left behind to watch us while we slept.”

“The World Itself:When she held out her arms, the world itself wrapped around me & held me tight.”

“The Wonder of it All:Sitting there in your pajamas & all the time in the world & if I could keep any moment it would be this: watching you & holding my breath with the wonder of it all.”

“The Whole World:My favorite thingis being your lapwhile we sit theretogether & lovethe whole world.”

“Ten Commandments:I asked her why she never told us about the Ten Commandments & she said she wasn't ever that good with numbers so she loved everything as best she could & I remember thinking who needs all those rules anyway with a mother like her around.”

“Such Small Things:For a long time there were only your footprints & laughter in our dreams & even from such small things, we knew we could not wait to love you forever.”

“Songs to Herself:She waved at all the people on the trains & later, when she saw they didn't wave back, she started singing songs to herself & it went that way the whole day & she couldn't remember having a better time in her life.”

“What are the rules? I said & he said you run & you run & you run until you fall over. There's a couple others in there for variety, he added, but that's the main one.”

“Smaller World:I know he's not really gone, she said, but the world still feels smaller to me today.”

“Single Mind:If I love you with all my heart, she said, what will you give me? & then she stopped & said I didn't have to answer that because she was going to do it anyway.”

“Side by Side:We sat side by side in the morning light & looked out at the future together.”

“Secret Notes:He wrote secret notes to people he hadn't met yet. Some of them aren't even born, he said, but we live in a strange neighborhood & they will need help figuring things out & I won't always be around to explain it to them.”

“Season of Joy:She asked me when the season of joy was supposed to end & I said I didn't really think there was an exact date, so we left the tree up till June that year.”

“Scraps of Magic:These are little scraps of magic & when you paste them together you get a memory of something fine & strong, she said. Sometimes it takes till you're 40 to see it though.”

“Scent:When she wore the hat, even many years later, she could always smell her mother's perfume & it was hard to remember she was supposed to be alone.”

“Real Reason:There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good.”

“Quiet SpacesWe had gone far enough together to listen easily in the quiet spaces.”

“Quiet Pride:There has never been a day when I have not been proud of you, I said to my daughter, though some days I'm louder about other stuff so it's easy to miss that.”

“Permanence:Just because they die, she said, doesn't mean they go away.”

“Perfect Day:It was a day filled with the glow of ordinary things & we passed them quietly from hand to hand for a long time & someone said she had picked a perfect day to be born & I think all of us felt the same.”

“Partners:Tied together by stuff too difficult to explain to someone new”

“One of Us:Someday, the light will shine like a sun through my skin & they will say, What have you done with your life? & though there are many moments I think I will remember, in the end, I will be proud to say, I was one of us.”

“More Fair:They left mewith your shadow,saying things likeLife is not fair& I believed themfor a long time.But today,I rememberedthe way you laughed& the heatof your handin mine& I knew thatlife is more fairthan we canever imagineifwe are there to live it”

“Making Room:When I first met him, I knew in a moment I would have to spend the next few days re-arranging my mind so there'd be room for him to stay.”

“Living MemoryI carry you with me into the world,into the smell of rain& the words that dance between people& for me, it will always be this way,walking in the light,remembering being alive together”

“I think my life would be easier, she said,if I could just get my selves to agree on something.”