Cecily White

“I felt my heart expanding, making room for him to movie in permanently.”

“Then he kissed me.Which is a bit like saying, "Then the sun exploded and the walls started melting.”

“Jackson," I asked carefully. "Are you on any illegal substances I should know about?""Nope.""Eaten any strange looking mushrooms?""Not lately.""Any near brushed with eternal damnation that might be affecting your judgement?"He grinned. "That hard to believe, huh?”

“You're the most annoying girl on the planet. You make me want to throw myself off a bridge. And, unfortunately, I am one hundred percent, head-over-heels, crazy in love with you.”

“You were just too nice to tell me to buzz off.""I did tell you to buzz off," he pointed out. "Several times.""I'm not the best with feedback.”

“When I said I absolve you, that wasn't meant as a suicide suggestion. For the moment, we're still bonded.""Only partially.""Great, then I can partially kick your ass.”

“What have you done?""Sir," Jack held up his hands in surrender. "I know how this looks. You have every right to be upset.""Upset?" he fumed. "Do I look upset to you?""You look upset to me," I noted.”

“He sneered. "I don't fancy your type.""Why, too sober? Too much self-esteem?”

“Tell her I got detention for defending her honour," Alec shouted in the distance."Did he really?""Well, he got detention, but mostly for calling Akira a close-minded troglodyte," she said.”

“You. Must. Do. Your. Homework. I'm not kidding. Our world is full of dangerous things. When you neglect your studies, you deny yourself the tools to deal with them. Every assignment-"I lifted a hand to stop him. "Allow me. Every assignment is a rare window into the ancient and noble tradition of the Guardians, a key to the mysterious power of the Crossworld, blah, blah. Don't forget the part about how I'm not living up to my potential.”

“Okay, to be fair, I had tried to Google-stalk him. But Google-stalking is a far cry from having your demonblood best friend park his vampmobile across the and use his x-ray vamp vision to spy into someone's house. That's just rude.”

“No girl has ever offered to feed my enemies' fingernails to her cat before.""Lisa's cat. And don't flatter yourself. At the moment, I'm tempted to feed him your fingernails.”

“Ow! Dammit!""Watch your language. This is a holy place.""Hah!" I grumbled. "If it's so holy, why don't they have a holy elevator? Or a holy librarian who can go fetch the blasted book for us?”

“Lots of things are impossible. Doesn't mean they don't happen every day.""Actually that is what impossible means. You should Google it," I suggested. "Wait, does Google qualify as an impossible thing?”

“Relax. This isn't the scary part yet.""Mmm, not helpful.""Try to think about puppies," he suggested. "No wait, not puppies. Think about kittens. Demons don't eat kittens. Too many hairballs.""Hey, maybe we could try not talking for a while.”

“Where'd you go?""The bowels of hell," his voice echoed back. "I thought we could go apartment hunting for you...since you'll be moving here, and all.”

“I'm going to hell, aren't I?""Hopefully not for a few more years.”

“You give frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip?”

“No one had ever left me so simultaneously relaxed and knotted up all at once (except maybe Rhett Butler, which doesn't count since he's not a real person).”

“I frowned at him. "Isn't sarcasm the opiate of the masses?""You're thinking of religion," he replied. "Sarcasm is the Xanax of the morally bereft.”

“I glared at him. "Matt said he got a pep talk at his test. I don't rate a pep talk?""You want a pep talk?" He made a fist with one hand, then punched it through the air in a victorious motion. "Go get 'em. You've got twenty-eight minutes.""Dude, do not join the pep squad.”

“It looks like my grandma's old VW Rabbit after the Berlin Wall fell on it. Twice.”

“He frowned. "Who cares about that? Screw the gerbils.""Screw them?" I raised an eyebrow. "Lyle, this is not your personal recreation time.”

“Something simple-minded and morally vacuous? A hamster, perhaps? Maybe Veronica?""Excuse me!" Veronica griped form the back table."Those are gerbils, Mr. Charbonnet, not hamsters. And I'd thank you to minimise the insulting commentary.""My apologies, sir." Alec nodded. "The gerbil is a noble beast. I shouldn't have compared it to Veronica.”

“She takes after her father.""Uh, I guess," I said, unsure how to respond. Bud's reputation was too far down the toilet for it to be a compliment.”

“Black suits you," he commented."Don't get any ideas, Romeo."His frown curled into a slow grin, at once mocking and devastatingly handsome. "Ah, Shakespeare. 'How silver sweet lovers' tongues by night, like softest music to attending ears.'" He laughed. "Saw the movie, did you?""I also saw Buffy the Vampire Slayer," I said. "Guess which one I liked better.”

“Death is a lot like prom - loud, overdone, and although the guy you came with was cool, you never know who'll end up taking you home.”

“Daddy, I'll be fine. Smalley says some people are late bloomers, that's all."Actually, what she'd said was, 'Tis a marvellous bud that opens its petals at midnight - not so eager as the weeds of daybreak. I figured that translated to, Just because you're not a slut like Veronica, doesn't mean you'll end up alone.”

“Caring about him was like trying to love a tree stump - a cold, mean-spirited paternalistic tree stump. With fungus.”

“Good grief," Alec muttered."Be afraid," Katie quoted. "Be very afraid."Alec squinted at her. "That sounds familiar. Revelations?""David Cronenberg. It's a long, scary story.""I like scary stories.”

“I thought you called dibs on him.""I did, but you can have him first. After he dumps you, imagine how good I'll look in comparison.""Thanks, that's not insulting at all.”

“You're not being fair," I said."Life isn't fair.""Yeah, and no man is an island. Any other cliches you'd like to share?”

“Life is suffering. Love, even more so.”

“Just because a guy wears glasses and smiles at you doesn't mean he's nice." Lisa dug around in her purse for a tube of lip-gloss. "Maybe he's a visually impaired cannibal. Did you ever think of that? Like one of those serial killers you love so much.""I don't love serial killers," Katie argued, defensive. "Not romantically, at least.”

“Quit that." Lisa jabbed an elbow at my ribs."Quit what?""Quit looking at him like that," she warned in a hushed tone. "I'm not kidding, Amelie. He's dangerous. He boils kittens in ritual sacrifice."Katie wrinkled her nose. "He does not, Lisa.""You don't know that.”

“Dizziness?""No.""Nausea? Vomiting? Diarrhea?""No, no, and yuck," I said. "Dr. G, can I please be excused?""Not yet. How many fingers am I holding up?""Eleven.""Amelie."I scowled. (...) "Sir, I'm fine. Just let me go to class. Please?"Gunderman unhooked the blood pressure cuff from my arm and looked at me like I'd asked to borrow his credit card. "Young the lady, the fact you want to go to class gives me definite cause for concern.”

“Your pupils are dilated," he said. "I think-""Yes?" I breathed."I think you have a concussion."I blinked. A concussion? That's so not where I thought he was going.”

“You can't deny we work well together. I could be your sidekick, if you want. Like Superman and Lois Lane. Or Peter Pan and Tinker Bell.""Tinker Bell isn't menacing.""Which proves how much you need me," I insisted. "Fairies are terrifying."He sat up straighter and dusted off his pants. "Fairies don't exist. Neither do Graymasons.""That's what humans say about vampires and werewolves," I argued. "So we're agreed.”

“Maybe it's a training exercise," Skye suggested, ignoring her friend's rudeness. "I wouldn't mind a little training with him. The personal kind, know what I mean?"It would be hard not to know what she meant.”

“I might have been sad for them if they weren't so disgustingly happy.”

“Sheets of flowing raven-black hair...all wrapped up in that saccharin sweetness you only find in church-ladies and Girl Scout moms. It was enough to make a girl sprint to the nearest shopping mall for a free makeover.”

“Plus, I can't look at him the same since I ran into Mrs. Marino at our family reunion. It's not comforting to learn you've made out with your cousin.""Third cousin once removed," I argued. "It's hardly incest.""Life is like a box of chocolates, Lisa," Katie noted around a half-chewed carrot stick. "You never know what you're going to get."Lisa narrowed her eyes, confused. "Did she just quote Forrest Gump at me?""It's Matt's fault," I said. "She lost a bet and now anytime his name gets mentioned, she has sixty seconds to drop a relevant movie quote.""That's insane.""Yup," Katie piped in, "insanity tuns in my family. Its practically gallops.""Classic." I high-fived her.”

“She broke up with you again, didn't she?"He flopped back in his chair, lanky legs hooked at the ankles. "She also reserved a tuxedo for me with a cummerbund matched to her formal dress. I sense ambivalence.""Very perceptive.”

“Y'all probably watched a lot of television.""We didn't have TV.""Nintendo, then?"He shook his head."Fantasy football? Xbox?" I frowned. "Please tell me you had Angry Birds.""We had a library," he said, "and a few educational magazines.""Huh. Well, that's just tragic.”

“Are you insane?""Never diagnosed," the guy said.”

“Looks like you could use a hand," he observed. "Or maybe a bucket.""A bucket?""Of water. I hear that's what they use on fire." The guy smirked. "Unless you've got a better idea.”

“Zing. Major zing.”

“Oh, shiitake mushrooms," I muttered.”

“Lyle, I don't care who you date.""Good, because I want you to know that thing with Skye was also a mistake. We both knew it as soon as it happened."I nodded. "Again with the not caring.”

“It always confused me how Smalley managed to keep enrolment limited only to Guardian bloodlines. I don't know, maybe she put some charm up that made people think about dead puppies every time they stepped on campus. That's what I would have done, anyway, if I were headmistress.”