Charlaine Harris

“The average woman would not be pondering how fast her date could kill her, but I’ll never be an average woman.”

“There were toes. Those toes wouldn’t be happy piggies. But they didn’t have any right to be in the way.”

“There’s no way you can kill someone and get to the other side of the experience unchanged.”

“Bill said, "She is mine."I wondered if my hands would move. They would. I raised both of them, making an unmistakable one-fingered gesture. Eric laughed, and Bill said "Sookie!" in shocked admonishment."I think that Sookie is telling us she belongs to herself," Eric said softly.”

“Jesus Christ, shepherd of Judea.”

“I wish," I said. "I could save orgasms in a jar for when I need them, because I think I have a few extra.”

“Jason's favorite person in the entire universe was Jason Stackhouse.”

“Appius Livius Ocella made mistakes in his whole long existence. Perhaps changing Eric was his finest hour. He created the perfect vampire. Eric's only flaw is you.”

“She won't win," Eric said. He sounded confident, passionate--everything I might have hoped would be reassuring."You're sure?" I asked."Yes, my lover. I'm sure.""But you're not here," I observed, and I hung up very gently. He didn't call back.”

“I love him," I said, but even to my own ears I didn't sound happy about it.”

“And that's your fantasy? That I come into your house naked and have sex with you?""After that, you tell me that you have sent Eric on his way, that you want to be mine forever, and that to share my life you will permit me to make you a vampire like me."The silence now was thick, and the fun had drained out of the fantasy.Then Bill added, "You know what I'd say when you told me this? I'd tell you I would never do such a thing. Because I love you.”

“My favorite fantasy? You come down into my daytime resting place stark naked," he said, and I could see the gleam of his teeth as he smiled. "Oh, wait," Bill said. "That's already happened.”

“If this were the fifties, she’d be checking Sam’s collars for lipstick stains. (Did people do that anymore? Why did women kiss collars, anyway? Besides, Sam almost always wore T-shirts.)”

“Do you want a drink?” “You mean synthetic blood,” she said after a slight hesitation. “Yes, that would be nice. A sociable gesture.” “I’m all about the gestures. Bubba, you, too?” “Yes, ma’am, I reckon so,” he said.”

“Trees had died to make these forms, and that seemed a great pity to me.”

“The last thing I wanted to do was to sit in a crowded bar to watch my cousin get naked.”

“I don't think any woman minds knowing she looks good, as long as the admiration isn't expressed in an offensive way and doesn't come from a disgusting source.”

“It was like being around a particularly irritating two-year-old.”

“Angélique Sookie, toi qui es la beauté et la grâce incarnées, pardonne-moi. Je suis accablé à l'idée que cette ménade malfaisante et démoniaque ait pu oser violenter ce corps parfait et voluptueux qui est le tien, dans l'intention de faire parvenir un message à mon indigne et misérable personne.”

“How grateful are you?" he whispered, his mouth hovering over mine. His eyes were very alert now, and his gaze was boring into mine."That kind of ruins it, when you say something like that," I said, trying to keep my voice gentle. "You shouldn't want me to have sex with you just because I owe you.""I don't really care why you have sex with me, as long as you do it," he said, equally gently.”

“I had never seen so many cute men in one place in my life. But I could tell they were not for me. Russell was like the gay vampire Hugh Hefner, and this was the Playboy Mansion, with an emphasis on the "boy.”

“The world seemed a bad and terrible place, all its denizens suspect, and I the lambwandering through the valley of death with a bell around my neck.”

“I had never realized a woman could have to struggle to keep her hands off a man, but here I was, digging my nails into my palms, staring at the inside of my eyelids as though I could maybe see through them if I peered hard enough.”

“Better to be screwed physically than financially.”

“Eric, what are you doing?""Snuggling.""Get out of my bed!"-Sookie Stackhouse, Eric Northman”

“Sookie, what have we done? And to whom?""I killed a chicken. And I cooked it.""Sookie, Sookie. My bullshit meter is reading that as a false."-Eric Northman, Sookie Stackhouse”

“I added to my mental list of the odd things I'd done that day. I'd entertained the police, sunbathed, visited at a mall with some fairies, weeded and killed someone. Now it was powdered-corpse removal time. And the day wasn't over yet.”

“I met Elvis in your woods one night,” Terry said. One of the EMTs had given him a shot, and I thought it was beginning to work. “I knew I was nuts then. He was telling me how much he liked cats. I told him I was a dog person, myself.”

“I've got libraries in my blood.”

“I would feel the urge to attack people, to bite them; they'd all be walking McBloodburgers to me.”

“Lots of kids in our neck of the woods call their grandfathers "Papaw”

“It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body.”

“One of the most wonderful, and the most appalling, things about Eric loving me was that he didn't give a shit about anyone else.”

“I'd have to say no, people don't change, but they can learn to behave differently.”

“It's not enough that we have to handle our own race's problems," Claude said. "Now we're sucked into the fucking vampire struggles, too.""No," I said, feeling I was walking uphill in this conversation. "You as a group weren't sucked into the vampire struggles. One of you was taken for a specific purpose. Different scenario.”

“Eric was incensed, to use a good entry from my word of the day Calender. In fact his eyes were almost throwing sparks he was so angry. "This woman has been mine, and she will be mine" he said in tones so definite I thought about checking my rear end for a brand.”

“Kennedy's issue didn't seem to be that she had been in jail, but that she had put on weight in jail. The food had been crappy, she'd told me, and it has been high on the carbohydrate count. "But I'm an emotional eater," she'd said, as if that were a terrible thing. "And I was real emotional in jail.”

“It was somehow degrading, craving someone so... voraciously - another good calendar word - just because he was physically beautiful. I hadn't thought that was something women did, either.”

“JB’s mother had taught him early on that appreciated women are happy women.”

“Men! Dead or alive, they could be exactly the same.”

“My mother finally took me to a child psychologist, who knew exactly what I was, but she just couldn’t accept it and kept trying to tell my folks I was reading their body language and was very observant, so I had good reason to imagine I heard people’s thoughts. Of course, she couldn’t admit I was literally hearing people’s thoughts because that just didn’t fit into her world.”

“Well in two months, it'd be sunbathing time. That made me smile. I enjoyed lying in the sun in a little bikini, timing myself carefully so I didn't burn. I loved the smell of coconut oil. And I don't want to hear any lectures about how bad tanning is for you. That's my vice. Everybody gets one.”

“The air was cold and wet, and if you stood still for a moment the chilling damp would creep into your bones. I could tell the temperature was taking a deep dive, and the bright sky of the morning was a fond memory. It was an appropriate day to dump a body.”

“Who wants a bag of bones?” he said, with absolute sincerity. “I don’t want to hurt myself on the sharp edges of the woman I’m bedding.”

“I said the first thing that came into my head unfortunately. "Save the drama for your mama " I told her just like an eleven-year-old.”

“If it's easy to be friendly she will be. If the wind blows the other way her friendship will be gone. And I'm thinking the wind is blowing the other way. She has found some other way to be an important person in her own right by hating others.”

“Maybe she was being so hoity-toity because she didn't have her own fairy godmother.”

“There are times to think and times to lie fallow”

“There's not much I dislike more than being addressed as "Hey you" and being poked with a finger.”

“I held on to my better nature by my fingernails but I held on.”