Charlaine Harris

“What I think I'll do is I'll do my best to yank Debbie out of me by the roots. And then I'll turn up on your doorstep, one day when you least expect it, and I'll hope by then you will have given up on your vampire.”

“Alcide: "It's on my right butt cheek. It's shaped like a rabbit."Sookie: "I love bunnies!”

“That's just not right," Sam muttered. "Claude needs to keep his pants on.”

“There was nothing civilized about sex with Eric.”

“No, I like you alive and warm and wiggling.”

“Lily might be icy on the outside, but inside she was Vesuvius.”

“But in my book, it was basically bad taste to stare at someone's assets, no matter how much on display they were.”

“When I thought of Eric with someone else, I wanted to rip out all his beautiful blonde hair. By the roots. In clumps.”

“You think that it’s not magic that keeps you alive? Just ‘cause you understand the mechanics of how something works, doesn’t make it any less of a miracle. Which is just another word for magic. We’re all kept alive by magic, Sookie. My magic’s just a little different from yours, that’s all.”

“The fundamentalists were equally stymied. “We were worried about Adam and Steve,” a Baptist minister said. “Should we have been more worried about Rover and Fluffy?”

“.. I suffered with you. I hurt with you. I bled with you -not only because we're bonded, but because the love I have for you." ~ Eric Northman in Dead in The Family.”

“Would Eric enjoy being a Sooner? As I navigated through Shreveport, I wondered if Oklahoma vampires wore cowboy boots and knew all the songs from the musical.”

“Okay I've been stupid in the past. Not consistently stupid, but occasionally stupid. And I've made mistakes. You bet, I've made mistakes.”

“Oh. No wonder I'd been sick. I hadn't eaten anything since then. I'm a girl who likes her meals, so it hadn't been a weight-loss tactic. I'd just been too busy bumping from crisis to crisis. Go on the Sookie Stackhouse Narrow Avoidance of Death Diet! Run for your life, and miss meals, too! Exercise plus starvation.”

“I love you,” Bill said helplessly, as if he wished those magic words would heal me. But he knew they wouldn’t.“That’s what you all keep saying,” I answered. “But it doesn’t seem to get me any happier.”

“It wasn't often you ran into bondage/Elvis/whorehouse-themed vampire club”

“Oklahoma is very beautiful, and Eric loves beauty, but he already has that in you.”

“So, what, you just decided to sack out here and seduce me when I walked in the door? Home from spending the night at my boyfriend's? After having sex with him that could go in the Guinness Book of Records?”

“I never set out to be a one-night-stand kinda woman. I want to be sure, if I have sex with you, that it's because you want to be around for a while and because you like me for who I am, not what I am.Maybe a million women had made approximately the same speech. I meant it as sincerely as any one of those million.”

“I was so sleepy (and sore) that another bout of sex was out of the question, unless Eric had suddenly developed an interest in necrophilia.”

“Most humans were on one big island, to the fairies, and that island was adrift on a sea called I Totally Don’t Care.”

“We followed the bondage Bobbsey Twins across the crowded dance floor. Those leather shorts were an adventure from behind, let me tell you.And the pictures of Elvis decorating the walls were an education, too. It wasn’t often you ran into a bondage/Elvis/ whorehouse-themed vampireclub.”

“Oh, God, puppy dog eyes. From a six-foot-five ancient Viking vampire.”

“Well, that's certainly... adequate," I told him, burying my face in his chest. I knew immediately I'd picked the wrong word."Adequate?" He took my hand, placed it on the part in question. It immediately began to stir. He moved my hand on it, and I obligingly circled it with my fingers. "This is adequate?""Maybe I should have said it's a gracious plenty?""A gracious plenty. I like that," he said.”

“I'm about as scientific as a saltine”

“You just don't want a vampire pissed off at you.”

“If I have to choose between you and me - I like me better.”

“Look, how come he showed up now? When you have other fairies in the woods? And does that sound crazy when you say it out loud, or what?”

“Sometimes you just have to regret things and move on.”

“My gran had always told me that a woman--any woman worth her salt--could do whatever she had to.”

“Bubba made a sound of disapproval "You're not supposed to be kissing on anybody else, Miss Sookie" he said "Bill said it was okay, but I don't like it.”

“Oh come on Pam, they're funny. They're like humans but miniature...tea cup humans!”

“For awhile I taped soap operas and watched them at night when I thought I might be forgetting what it was like to be human. After a while I stopped, because from the examples I saw on those shows, forgetting humanity was a good thing.”

“Everyone thinks I'm crazy, you know, because I can't tell them the truth; which is, that I'm driven crazy by all these thoughts, all these heads.”

“Are you a prude?' He seemed genuinely curious.'No!' But after a second, I said, 'But may be compared to you, yes! I like my privacy. I get to decide who sees me naked. Do you get my point?''Yes. Objectively speaking, you have beautiful points.'I thought the top of my head would pop off...(Sookie Stackhouse & Claude, Dead in the Family)”

“I didn't know what to think about first: me seeing Claude naked, Claude seeing me naked, or the whole fact that we were related and naked in the same room.(Sookie Stackhouse, Dead in the Family)”

“Angelic Sookie, vision of love and beauty, I am prostrate that the wicked evil maenad violated your smooth and voluptuous body, in an attempt to deliver a message to me. -Eric”

“Men are incomprehensible assholes," I said to Amelia. "NO shit," she said. "When I was searching for Bob today, I found a female cat in the woods with kittens. And guess what? They were all black-and-white.”

“And by golly, love sure was a battlefield. Benatar was right about that.”

“I did what I have been told to do by my queen. In so doing, I fell into a trap I couldn't escape. I still can't.""The trap of LUUUUVVVV, I thought sarcastically. But he was too serious, too calm, to mock.”

“Wow," I said, since it was all I could think of to say. "Wow. That's some outfit." When you've got a big guy wearing Lycra it doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination. I resisted the temptation to ask Eric to turn around."I don't believe I could be convincing as a queen," Eric said, "but I decided this sent such a mixed signal, almost anything was possible." He fluttered his eyelashes at me. Eric was definitely enjoying this."Oh, yes," I said, trying to find somewhere else to look. (Living Dead in Dallas)”

“You'll have to ask Bill that, Sookie. And this is the only reason we're going? You're not cleverly usingthis as an excuse to make out with me?""I'm not that clever, Eric.""I think you deceive yourself, Sookie," Eric said with a brilliant smile.”

“Should I just bite you, and end it all?", he whispered. "I would never have to think about you again. Thinking about you is an annoying habit and one I want to be rid of.”

“Nunca fui uma mulher de relações de uma noite só. Quero ter a certeza, se dormir contigo, de que o faço porque queres passar algum tempo comigo e porque gostas de mim por quem eu sou e não pelo que sou.”

“Bring it on, fur-ass!”

“Self-pity is like chocolate; as you get older, you can only afford a little bit.”

“Yikes. Yahoo. Yum.”

“This must be the legendary Yankee rudeness”

“Then was ashamed of myself. I should be happy for what I'd been given. I hoped God hadn't noticed my lapse in appreciation.”

“I'll show up at every classroom open house and teacher conference,' she said, now in a voice that was almost frightening in its intensity. 'I'll bake brownies. My child will have new clothes. Her shoes will fit. She'll get her shots, and she'll get her braces. We'll start a college fund next week. I'll tell her I love her every damn day.'If that wasn't a great plan for being a good mother, I couldn't imagine what a better one could be.”