Cheryl McIntyre

“Please," I whisper. "Please don't make do this. Don't make me choose.”

“Shh. Stop pushing me away. I don't want to keep fighting with you. Just accept that I care about you too much to go anywhere.”

“I want to tell you you look beautiful, but I know you don't like that." He dips his chin toward his chest and presses his lips together. "Is it alright if I say that I couldn't breathe for a minute when I saw you? Or that it took every last ounce of self restraint to not start making out with you in front of Guy and Annie? Because the only thing that held me back was the idea you wouldn't like that very much.”

“Sometimes never is distorted perception. I love you, Hope. And I'm not the only one. I know you care about me. I see it in your eyes. I feel it.Everybody needs love. Everybody. And some people need it more that others. You're a liar if you say you don't. I'll do that for you. I'll love you. All you have to do is let me.”

“I don't know how to make you believe I'm sorry. I fucked up. I made a huge mistake. Again. I know that, but I also know there is way more to what happened than you're telling. I was freaked out and I wasn't thinking clearly, but I would never purposely hurt you, Hope. Ever. I didn't even kiss you until you asked me to. I would never...”

“I can't walk away from you. I tried. I can't do it. Even as I was trying, I knew it was stupid. I already knew I wasn't really going anywhere. God, Hope. I care about you. I don't want to walk away." I coil my fingers in between her braids and twists, holding her head to my chest. "I'm broken, too. I think..." I lick my lips and press them into her hair. "I think we can fix each other.”

“What are you?" I hold my breath, waiting. "Broken," she murmurs”

“I'm afraid that if I let myself feel this way I do about you, ugh, I'm so afraid you'll realize what I am, and you'll walk away. And it'll hurt me.”

“I'm just going to be really honest right now because this is all new to me and I don't know how else to handle it." He takes a deep breath and pushes the air off his forehead. "I like being around you. I like talking to you. When I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you.”

“How do I look at her?"Mason laughs. "Like you're a starving dog and she's wearing a skirt made of meat.”

“There is something wrong with me. I freaking know that. And there’s something wrong with you. I don’t give a shit. I feel good when I’m with you. I want you so bad I can’t even think straight. You are one of the coolest girls I’ve ever met and I want to know you. Stop using bitchiness as a form of self defense and let me in.”

“Jesus, Hope. You have ruined me. I love you so much.”

“I don't know what she's trying to say, but I can feel her struggle to get it out. "I love Skittles.”

“Am I doing the right thing? Is it ever right to hurt someone? But is it right to stay with someone when you want to be with someone else? Which one would hurt more?”

“Does it scare you? That you might love someone that much someday, just to lose them too?" "Yes," I confess, "I've been scared since the first time I saw you.”

“My virginity's still intact, Guy," I say as I stand up and brush the dirt from my butt. "Yours, on the other hand, has been gone for so long I've seen it on the side of a milk carton.”

“I find it intriguing that a girl who doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything would pretend as if she were in front of the entire class. Seems like there’d be a pretty fascinating reason.” He stares at her as if he is on to something. As if he already knows what she isn’t saying.“Why do you think?” He’s quiet. She glances at him. His eyes are still on her. “I think you’re a very interesting person.”She nods. “Because I throw books.”“Because you have secrets.”

“I'm not mad, Mason. I am crushed. Acting mad makes it easier to deal with than letting it rip me apart.”

“The sun reflects off the side mirror, momentarily blinding me. And all I can think is: how is the sun shining when my heart is breaking?”

“She cries harder and I know I should hug her, comfort her in some way, but I'm selfishly counting the pieces of my heart that lie on the floor around me.One for every touch.One for every kiss.One for every time I told him I loved him.One for every time he told me.”

“If there was ever a time I needed a candy fix, it would be now. I'm talking heavy duty candy fix. Like Cow Tales and Sugar Daddy pops. Maybe even Pixie Stix.”

“I love you.''I love you too.'She never misses an opportunity to say it. You never know when you can run out of chances.”

“I'm just as horrified with myself, with being caught. This is extremely personal. People may know I do it, but nobody has ever witnessed it. It's worse than if he'd seen me naked.”

“At some point, hurting myself has gone past the need to be in control. It's routine now. An addiction. I cannot cope without it, and when things get bad, the need to feed the habit flares.”

“You've turned my wounds into wisdom. Teaching me to learn from my mistakes. Which ones were mine and which were out of my control.”

“She takes deliberately slow steps toward me and I'm a second away from dropping at her feet. This girl is a goddess and I am her slave.”

“The place doesn't matter. It's the person. It's you and it's me. That's the important part. I happen to love where I am. In your bed that smells like you, surrounded by the things that make you you.”

“I'm broken too. I think... I think we can fix each other.”

“I do not have a hero complex. I have always been attracted to strong, independent women. I like a girl who has her shit together. No strings. Simple. Confident. But the way she nearly sighed the word 'broken'--as if it was her sole identifier, as if it's branded on her somehow, as if admitting this has cost her dearly, shamed her--just killed me a little bit. I want to save her. I want to be her hero. I want to make her see she is so much more than her damaged past.”

“What would happen if I cut there? Right across my face where everyone could see. Everyone would know. Maybe someone would finally stop me.”

“I have enough scars.I do not have enough scars.”

“Shape me, mold, manufacture me, and tell me that I'm beautiful.”

“This is the part I hate the most. That moment it sinks in that I've sliced myself open. When the rush and release are over and I'm left with the knowledge of just how fucked up I am.”

“The first time I saw you, I wanted to kiss you. And I don't mean when I pulled you away from Christian. I actually saw you before that. In the parking lot. You were laying in your car listening to music. And I thought you were overwhelmingly beautiful. I still think you're beautiful and I still want to kiss you.”

“It's a damn good thing you're so pretty, honey, because sometimes, you're really quite stupid.”

“I’m pretty sure you just made him that much more interested in you,” Guy explains. “Some guys like it rough.” He grins at Hope. “I know I do.”

“I never thought I could love someone so much, but sometimes never is a distorted perception, because I continuously find myself falling deeper in love with her every day.”

“Mason Patel is my counterpart. He is the eraser to my chalk. The milk to my cereal. The chocolate to my peanut butter. We were made for each other in cookie heaven.”

“Sometimes I think my veins run with poison. We’re all slowly dying, right? From the moment we’re born, our time dwindles away. Like some countdown we’re not privy to. We can die at any moment.”

“I’m done counting days. Now because of you I’m making the days count.”

“It’s funny how some things are just words until one day, it happens to you, and it’s like an epiphany.”

“The people you love most are the ones who hold the power to hurt you so completely.”

“Playing an instrument says you have passion. Taking the time to teach someone else, especially someone younger, says you’re not only sweet, but patient. It told me you obviously like music. Musicians typically appreciate all music, so it told me you were more open. The fact that your little brother thought you were good meant you’re dedicated. And the way he looked at you, like you hung the moon, spoke loudest of all. It told me that someone loved you. That you had to be a good person to have so much respect from your brother when most brothers can’t seem to get along. It told me you were special.”

“Mason, I’m ruined. I can never give you what you deserve. I’m incapable of loving someone like—like you want. I will never be able to do it right. I will never deserve to be loved.”My breathing is erratic. I shove myself to my knees and grasp her arms, pulling her toward me once again. “Sometimes never is a distorted perception. I love you, Hope. And I’m not the only one. I know you care about me. I see it in your eyes. I feel it. Everybody needs love. Everybody. And some people need it more than others. You’re a liar if you say you don’t. I’ll do that for you. I’ll love you. All you have to do is let me.”              The wind whispers against my back as if giving me a nudge toward her and I take it as a sign. I propel myself into her, pushing my bare skin to hers. I need to feel her. I need her to feel me.              This is real.”

“You’re related to her?” I hear Mason say through the door. Then he laughs loudly. He has a great laugh. “Your name is Guy Love?” He barks out a laugh, louder this time. “Ironic, isn’t it?”

“You’re not supposed to go anywhere. Jenny said you’re grounded for getting superended.” I snort. “Damn, Hope,” Guy sings. “You got superended? I think we need to drop the p in your name ‘cause you is a hoe.”