Christi Anna

“I hated the idea of such a glorious creature beating itself to death in pursuit of something it could never have. It was, after all, just a light. The moth had no idea why it wanted it, only that it did.I paused at the window. “You’re just like them you know. You want the light so bad because you think it’s wonderful, and power-ful, and the answer to all of your little moth dreams, but in reality it is just a deadly desire. No matter what you do, no matter how bad you want it, you can never have it. Don’t you see? The light will bring you nothing but death.”Slowly, I opened my hand again. “Now, go, live your life. Find another moth and make little moth babies, and stop chasing light fixtures,” I instructed, raising my hand toward the stars. Once again, the moth watched me, then fluttered its wings and took off. This time, it flew away, disappearing into the dark. I leaned my head against the window frame, watching, think-ing, wondering if the little critter would ever find happiness. It didn’t take long to get an answer. There, on the other side of the parking lot, was the moth, buzzing wildly against a street light. I began to cry. “I know how you feel, little one,” I sobbed. “No matter what happens, no matter how wrong it is, my heart wants what it wants. I’m just like you, and they are my light.”

“I quickly pulled away and walked to the edge of the water. Staring up at the darkened sky through tear filled eyes, I awaited the inevitable storm. With a heavy heart, I took in a long, sad breath. The time had come for me to end this. No delaying any longer, no excuses—it was now or never.A searing pain tore through my chest. Though my heart had already made its choice long ago, the inevitable pain of having to let him go was something I had avoided until now. But I could no longer afford to be selfish and keep them both. It wasn't fair to either of them and I loved them far too much to continue putting my own wants and desires first.”

“Miles looked at me guiltily, and nodded, “But if it’s any consola-tion, it wasn’t hard. You really wanted to come and well…I really needed to see you again,” he confessed. I gave him a stern look that softened into a smile. “I’m glad you did it.” “Of course you are. I knew you would be,” he said confident-ly. “But don’t do it anymore. No means no, okay?” He took my hand and kissed it sweetly, “I have a better idea. Just stop telling me no.”

“He was still holding his jacket around me and standing extremely close. The heat from his body called to me, summoning desire I’d only ever read about. As I gazed up into his sweet face, I couldn’t deny that I longed for his kiss. I tried to fight it down, to convince myself I couldn’t let this progress any further. It had already gone too far. However, something inside conveyed an unspoken request and, as if to answer me, he slowly leaned down. I closed my eyes, feeling the sweetness of his breath graze my mouth, shivering, awaiting the tender passion of his kiss. And when his mouth finally pressed against mine, all time stopped. Soft and passionate, the heat of his lips warmed the cold of mine. The world around us faded. No sound. No movement. No time.”

“Whether three daisies or a million, a rose among them is still a rose and the daisies will always pale in its presence.”Book 5: Betrayal”

“Like a moth to the flame, I am drawn to writing, I do not question it, for no answer would diminish my urge, even though I know the fire may some day consume me.”