Christy Leigh Stewart

“People feeling pity for me is as offensive as them feeling inspired by me.”

“I’m a super hero and I’m in a phone booth but those things have nothing in common with each other; I just come here to cry.”

“I do not own the words used to debase me in any way shape or form. I gladly take the shrapnel and shower it like confetti for all those who wish to dance or die beneath it.”

“When I was in high school I wanted to be in the most underground band ever so we didn’t have a name, songs, no one could play or sing anything and I didn’t tell the other members they were in the band.”

“But the truth of the matter is, girls do not groom for men, but for other women. A man will deal with a hairy leg but another woman will use that hair to strangle your self-worth.”

“If I wanted to be agreed with or fed my own opinion I would be sitting in front of a mirror, not a computer. If I was concerned with a stranger’s opinion of me I would have a gun in my hand, not a keyboard.”

“I rebel against authority, especially my own.”

“Memoirs are noting more than literary masterbation.”

“A novel is no different than graffiti in a bathroom stall, it's just more pretentious.”

“I think men think about their penises as much as women think about molestation.”

“He’s a scientist. He’s never cried. He flips through Googled image searches of burn victims while he touches himself.”

“Even Azathoth is bored of this tune.”

“Do you ever feel like we are the universe’s date to a pig party? Love, The Human Race”

“I’m going to punch words in your ear holes.”

“If women ruled the world there would be no wars. But, we all would have been aborted.”

“I hallowed out my Bible to put another, smaller Bible inside.”

“ I want to find a designer that can represent me. I want to find a celebrity that reflects me. So far I’ve been dressing in cotton-polyester blends. It’s what Jerffrey Dahmer wore.”

“This semester has born in me the flame of hope to one day become a leader in the modern feminist movement. I can and will be the force that blows new life into it, giving a face and name to associate with instead of those women now who’s names I don’t know because they weren’t listed on Wikipedia.”

“Humor, drama, romance, whatever genre of entertainment you create or consume is only effective if it is challenging to your sensibilities. When the sexuality of seeing a woman’s ankles became trumped by her calf, society changed. When the calf was later trumped by a woman offering shots of alcohol from her vagina on Rock of Love, society changed again. My hope for this world is that we can soon run out of shocking body parts and can finally see the humor in our ætheric bodies.”

“Every concept of reality is all in our head, belief is what makes truth.”

“The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.”

“I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping.”

“Does anyone else day dream about what it would be like if specific age groups just dropped dead all across the world?”

“Do animals understand the concept of dreams or do they think they enter another dimension when they get tired?”

“You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists.”

“My author role model is Kurata Misako. I want to be rich enough to drive from room to room in my home but also down to earth enough to let squirrels live in my hair.”

“Ambition is a funny thing. It’s like being a Trekkie in that if you admit to it, those around you are mock supportive of your confidence but are quick to call you a loser behind your back.Or maybe that’s the opposite of being a Trekkie.”

“I’ve noticed that you are retarded, Dr. Phil.”