Clarice Lispector

“She felt like a dry branch, sticking out of the air. Brittle, covered in old bark. Maybe she was thirsty, but there was no water nearby. And above all the suffocating certainty that if a man were to embrace her at that moment she would feel not a soft sweetness in her nerves, but lime juice stinging them, her body like wood near fire, warped, crackling, dry.”

“La coherencia es mutilación. Quiero el desorden”

“Cuántas veces le había dado una propina exagerada al camarero, sólo porque pensó que él iba a morir y no lo sabía”

“Pero cada vez la odiaba más porque no podía amarla”

“Es como unas ganas de respirar fuerte, y también el miedo”

“Había dos maneras de mirarla: imaginando que estaba lejos y era grande, o creyendo que era pequeña y estaba cerca.”

“La bondad era tibia y sin consistencia, olía a carne cruda guardada durante mucho tiempo.”

“I just know that I don't want cheating. I refuse. I deepened myself but I don't believe in myself because my thought is invented.”

“How was she to tie herself to a man without permitting him to imprison her? And was there some means of acquiring things without those things possessing her?”

“- How does it feel to have a daughter?- At times it's like holding a warm egg in my hand.”

“All the world began with a yes. One molecule said yes to another molecule and life was born. But before prehistory there was the prehistory of the prehistory and there was the never and there was the yes. It was ever so. I don’t know why, but I do know that the universe never began.Make no mistake, I only achieve simplicity with enormous effort.”

“Suffering for a being deepens the heart within the heart.”

“Do you ever suddenly find it strange to be yourself?”

“Something broke in me and left me with a nerve split in two. In the beginning the extremities linked to the cut hurt me so badly that I paled in pain and perplexity. However the split places gradually scarred over. Until coldly, I no longer hurt. I changed, without planning to. I used to look at you from my inside outward and from the inside of you, which because of love, I could guess. After the scarring I started to look at you from the outside in. And also to see myself from the outside in: I had transformed myself into a heap of facts and actions whose only root was in the domain of logic. At first I couldn't associate me with myself. Where am I? I wondered. And the one who answered was a stranger who told me coldly and categorically: you are yourself.”

“Haverá um ano em que haverá um mês, em que haverá uma semana em que haverá um dia em que haverá uma hora em que haverá um segundo e dentro do segundo haverá o não-tempo sagrado da morte transfigurada.”

“La consuelo haciéndole entender que también yo padezco la vasta e informe melancolía de haber sido creado.”

“To know when to quit. Whether to give up--this is often the question facing the gambler. No one is taught the art of walking away. And the anguish of deciding if I should keep playing is hardly unusual. Will I be able to quit honorably? or am I the type who waits stubbornly for something to happen? something like, for instance, the end of the world? or whatever it might be, maybe my own sudden death, in which case my decision to give up would be beside the point.”

“I write as if to save somebody’s life. Probably my own. Life is a kind of madness that death makes. Long live the dead because we live in them.”

“I will surpass myself in waves, ah, Lord, and may everything come and fall upon me, even the incomprehension of myself at certain white moments because all I have to do is comply with myself and then nothing will block my path until death-without-fear, from any struggle or rest I will rise up as strong and beautiful as a young horse.”

“It is because I dove into the abyss that I am beginning to love the abyss I am made of.”

“But I welcome the darkness where the two eyes of that soft panther glow. The darkness is my cultural broth. The enchanted darkness. I go on speaking to you, risking disconnection: I’m subterraneously unattainable because of what I know.”

“I want the following word: splendor, splendor is fruit in all its succulence, fruit without sadness. I want vast distances. My savage intuition of myself.”

“What did I know about whatever it was that others obviously saw in me? how would I know if I went around with my stomach pressed into the dust of the ground. Truth has no witness? being isn't knowing? If a person doesn't look and doesn't see, does the truth exist anyway? THe truth that doesn't transmit itself even to those who can see. Is that the secret of being a person?”

“The world would only cease to terrify me if I became the world. If I were the world, I wouldn't be afraid. If we are the world, we are moved by a delicate radar that guides.”

“Holding someone's hand was always my idea of joy. Often before falling asleep - in that small struggle not to lose consciousness and enter the greater world - often, before having the courage to go toward the greatness of sleep, I pretend that someone is holding my hand and I go, go toward the enormous absence of form that is sleep. And when even then I can't find the courage, then I dream.”

“Life was taking its vengeance on me, and that vengeance consisted merely in coming back, nothing more. Every case of madness involves something coming back. People who are possessed are not possessed by something that just comes but instead by something that comes back. Sometimes life comes back. If in me everything crumbled before that power, it is not because that power was itself necessarily an overwhelming one: it in fact had only to come, since it had already become too full-flowing a force to be controlled or contained - when it appeared it overran everything. And then, like after a flood, there floated a wardrobe, a person, a loose window, three suitcases. And that seemed like Hell to me, that destruction of layers and layers of human archaeology.”

“Mira a todos a tu alrededor y ve lo que hemos hecho de nosotros y de eso considerado como victoria nuestra de cada día. No hemos amado por encima de todas las cosas. No hemos aceptado lo que no se entiende porque no queremos pasar por tontos. Hemos amontonado cosas y seguridades por no tenernos el uno al otro. No tenemos ninguna alegría que no haya sido catalogada. Hemos construido catedrales y nos hemos quedado del lado de afuera, pues las catedrales que nosotros mismos construimos tememos que sean trampas. No nos hemos entregado a nosotros mismos, pues eso sería el comienzo de una vida larga y la tememos. Hemos evitado caer de rodillas delante del primero de nosotros que por amor diga: tienes miedo. Hemos organizado asociaciones y clubs sonrientes donde se sirve con o sin soda. Hemos tratado de salvarnos, pero sin usar la palabra salvación para no avergonzarnos de ser inocentes. No hemos usado la palabra amor para no tener que reconocer su contextura de odio, de amor, de celos y de tantos otros opuestos. Hemos mantenido en secreto nuestra muerte para hacer posible nuestra vida. Muchos de nosotros hacen arte por no saber cómo es la otra cosa. Hemos disfrazado con falso amor nuestra indiferencia, sabiendo que nuestra indiferencia es angustia disfrazada. Hemos disfrazado con el pequeño miedo el gran miedo mayor y por eso nunca hablamos de lo que realmente importa. Hablar de lo que realmente importa es considerado una indiscreción. No hemos adorado por tener la sensata mezquindad de acordarnos a tiempo de los falsos dioses. No hemos sido puros e ingenuos para no reírnos de nosotros mismos y para que al fin del día podamos decir «al menos no fui tonto» y así no quedarnos perplejos antes de apagar la luz. Hemos sonreído en público de lo que no sonreiríamos cuando nos quedásemos solos. Hemos llamado debilidad a nuestro candor. Nos hemos temido uno al otro, por encima de todo. Y todo eso lo consideramos victoria nuestra de cada día.”

“Meanwhile, the clouds are white and the sky is blue. Why is there so much God? At the expense of men.”

“To eat communion bread will be to taste the world's indifference, and to immerse myself in nothingness.”

“For one has the right to shout.So, I am shouting.”

“[...] E é porque sempre fui de brigar muito, meu modo é brigando. É porque sempre tento chegar do meu modo. É porque ainda não sei ceder. [...] É porque ainda não sou eu mesma, e então o castigo é amar um mundo que não é ele. É também porque eu me ofendo à toa. É porque talvez eu precise que me digam com brutalidade, pois sou muito teimosa. [...] Talvez eu tenha que chamar de "mundo" esse meu modo de ser um pouco de tudo.”

“Queria saber: Depois que se é feliz, o que acontece? O que vem depois?”

“No it is not easy to write. It is as hard as breaking rocks. Sparks and splinters fly like shattered steel.”

“E, se atravessara o amor e o seu inferno, penteava-se agora diante do espelho, por um instante sem nenhum mundo no coração. Antes de se deitar, como se apagasse uma vela, soprou a pequena flama do dia.”

“I also want the figurative like a painter who only paints abstract colors but wants to show that he does so because he chooses to, not because he can't draw.”

“And even sadness was also something for rich people, for people who could afford it, for people who didn't have anything better to do. Sadness was a luxury.”

“É possível também que já então meu tema de vida fosse a irrazoável esperança, e que eu já tivesse iniciado a minha grande obstinação: eu daria tudo que era meu por nada, mas queria que tudo me fosse dado por nada.”

“Não entendo. Isso é tão vasto que ultrapassa qualquer entender. Entender é sempre limitado. Mas não entender pode não ter fronteiras. Sinto que sou muito mais completa quando não entendo. Não entender, do modo como falo, é um dom. Não entender, mas não como um simples de espírito. O bom é ser inteligente e não entender. É uma benção estranha, como ter loucura sem ser doida. É um desinteresse manso, é uma doçura de burrice. Só que de vez em quando vem a inquietação: quero entender um pouco. Não demais: mas pelo menos entender que não entendo.”

“So long as I have questions to which there are no answers, I shall go on writing.”

“Everything is heavy with dreams when I paint a cave or write to you about one - out of it comes the clatter of dozens of unfettered horses to trample the shadows with dry hooves, and from the friction of the hooves the rejoicing liberates itself in sparks: here I am, the cave and I, in the time that will rot us.”

“I work only with lost and founds.”

“She believed in angels, and, because she believed, they existed”

“And now -- now it only remains for me to light a cigarette and go home. Dear God, only now am I remembering that people die. Does that include me?Don't forget, in the meantime, that this is the season for strawberries. Yes.”

“Escrevo por não ter nada a fazer no mundo: sobrei e não há lugar para mim na terra dos homens. Escrevo porque sou um desesperado e estou cansado, não suporto mais a rotina de me ser e se não fosse a sempre novidade que é escrever, eu me morreria simbolicamente todos os dias. (A hora da estrela)”

“Even great men are only truly recognized and honored once they are dead. Why? Because those who praise them need to feel themselves somehow superior to the person praised, they need to feel they are making some concession. ”

“For at the hour of death you became a celebrated film star, it is a moment of glory for everyone, when the choral music scales the top notes.”

“I have grown weary of literature: silence alone comforts me. If I continue to write, it’s because I have nothing more to accomplish in this world except to wait for death. Searching for the word in darkness. Any little success invades me and puts me in full view of everyone. I long to wallow in the mud. I can scarcely control my need for self-abasement, my craving for licentiousness and debauchery. Sin tempts me, forbidden pleasures lure me. I want to be both pig and hen, then kill them and drink their blood.”

“Mas era primavera. Até o leão lambeu a testa glabra da leoa. (…) ‘Mas isso é amor, é amor de novo’, revoltou-se a mulher tentando encontrar-se com o próprio ódio mas era primavera e os dois leões se tinham amado. (…) Mas era primavera, e, apertando o punho no bolso do casaco, ela mataria aqueles macacos em levitação pela jaula, macacos felizes como ervas, macacos se entrepulando suaves, a macaca com olhar resignado de amor, e a outra macaca dando de mamar. (…) Ela mataria a nudez dos macacos. Um macaco também a olhou, o peito pelado exposto sem orgulho. Mas não era no peito que ela mataria, era entre aqueles olhos. De repente a mulher desviou o rosto, trancando entre os dentes um sentimento que ela não viera buscar, apressou os passos, ainda voltou a cabeça espantada para o macaco de braços abertos: ele continuava a olhar para a frente. ‘Oh não, não isso’, pensou. E enquanto fugia, disse: ‘Deus, me ensine somente a odiar’.‘Eu te odeio’, disse ela para um homem cujo crime único era o de não amá-la. ‘Eu te odeio’, disse muito apressada. (…) ‘Eu te amo’, disse ela então com ódio para o homem cujo grande crime impunível era o de não querê-la. ‘Eu te odeio’, disse, implorando amor.”

“But don't forget, in the meantime, that this is the season for strawberries. Yes.”

“Love is now, is always. All that is missing is the coup de grâce- which is called passion.”