Colleen Hoover

“The heart of a manis no heart at allIf his heart is not loved by a women.The heart of a womenis no heart at allIf her heart isn't loving a man.But the heart of a man and women in loveCan be worse than not having a heart at allBecause at least if you have no heart at allIt can't die when it breaks apart.”

“... I have just experienced the most passionate kiss I've ever received from a guy, and it was on the freaking forehead!”

“I'm butterflying positive”

“I turn to head outside when the boys make their way back into the house. Kel stops in the doorway and puts his hands on his hips, then looks up at me. “Are you my sister’s boyfriend?” I’m thrown off by his directness. I pull my jacket on and shake my head. “Um, no. Just her friend.”“She told my mom you were taking her on a date. I thought only boyfriends took girls on dates.”“Well,” I pause. “Sometimes boys take girls on dates to see if they want them to be their girlfriend.”I notice Caulder standing beside me, taking in the conversation as if he’s just as curious. I wasn’t prepared to have to explain the rules of dating right now. “So it’s like a test?” Caulder asks. “To see if you want Layken to be your girlfriend?”I shrug and nod. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”Kel laughs. “You aren’t gonna like her. She burps a lot. And she’s bossy. And she never lets me drink coffee, so she probably won’t let you have any, either. And she has really bad taste in music and sings way too loud and leaves her bras all over the house. It’s gross.” I laugh. “Thanks for the warning. You think it’s too late to back out now?” Kel shakes his head, missing my sarcasm completely. “No, she’s already dressed so you have to take her now.”I sigh, pretending to be annoyed. “Well, it’s just a few hours. Hopefully she won’t burp a lot and boss me around and steal my coffee and sing to her really bad music and leave her bra in my car.”Or hopefully she will.”

“The problem is, i don't know what choice is the right oneholder: That's because none of them are the right choice. Sometimes you have to choose between a bunch of wrong choices and no right ones. You just have to choose which wrong choice feels the least wrong”

“Sometimes women just need to cry.”

“You need to be proud of the fact that you survived everything you went through as a child. Don't seperate yourself from that life. Embrace it, because I'm so fucking proud of you.”

“Death. The only thing inevitable in life.People don't like to talk about death because it makes them sad.They don't want to imagine how life will go on without them,all the people they love will briefly grieve but continue to breathe.They don't want to imagine how life will go on without them,Their children will still growGet marriedGet old..They don't want to imagine how life will continue to go on without themTheir material things will be soldTheir medical files stamped "closed"Their name becoming a memory to everyone they know.They don't want to imagine how life will go on without them, so instead of accepting it head on, they avoid the subject all together,hoping and praying it will somehow...pass them by.Forget about them,moving on to the next one in line.no, they didn't want to imagine how life wouldcontinue to go on....without them.But deathdidn'tforget.Instead they were met head-on by death,disguised as an 18-wheelerbehind a cloud of fog.No.Death didn't forget about them.If only they had been prepared, accepted the inevitable, laid out their plans, understood that itwasn't just their lives at hand.I may have legally been considered an adult at the ageof nineteen, but still i felt very muchallof just nineteen.Unpreparedand overwhelmedto suddenly have the entire life of a seven-year-oldin my realm.Death. The only thing inevitable in life.-Will”

“I was studying the football in my hands, running my fingers over the pigskin, across the letters of the brand name printed on the side.This elongated spheriod that didn't even weigh a whole pound. I was choosing this ridiculous ball of leather in my hands over my own flesh and blood. I was putting myself, my girlfriend, my scholarship--I was putting everything before this little boy that i loved more than anything in this world.-Will”

“One million fifty-one thousand and two hundred minutes That's approximatley how many minutes I've loved youIt's how many times i've thought about youHow many minutes i've worried about youHow many minutes i've thanked God for youHow many minutes i've thanked every deity in the universe for you.One millionFifty-one ThousandAndTwoHundredMinutesOne million fifty-one thousand amd two hundred times.It's how many times you've made me smile.How many times you've made me dream,How many times you've made me believe,How many times you've made me discover,How many times you've made me adore,How many times you've made me cheris, My life.....And exactlly one million fifty-one thousand and two hundred minutes from now, i am going to propose to you, and ask that you share all the rest of the minutesOf your life, with me.”

“I feel vulnerable. I I try to mask my emotions, but I feel like everyone knows what I’m thinking and feeling, and I don’t like it. I don’t like being an open book. I feel like I’m up on the stage, pouring my heart out to him, and it scares the hell out of me.”

“Sometimes life doesn't happen in chronological order.”

“Someone asked them a question about their poetry, and whether it was hard having to relive their words each time they performed. Their reply was that although they had moved beyond that--from the person or event that inspired their words at that point in time--it doesn't mean someone listening to them wasn't in that. So? So what if heartache you wrote last year isn't what you're feeling today. It may be exactly what the person in the front row is feeling. What you're feeling now, and the person you may reach with your words five years from now--that's why you write poetry.”

“I stood beside the U-Haul, and I just watched her. I stared at her while she looked on with the saddest look in her eyes. I wanted to know what she was thinking about, what was going on in her head. What had mad her so sad? I wanted to hug her so bad. When she finally got out of the U-Haul and I introduced myself to her, it took all I had to let go of her hand. I wanted to hold on to it forever. I wanted to let her know that she wasn't alone. Whatever burden it was that she was carrying around, I wanted to carry it for her. I wish I could, Lake. I wish I could take it all away. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. It doesn't just go away.”

“But now--it's like God has it out for us. Why both of them? Wasn't my dad enough? It's like death came and punched us square in the face.”

“Nothing is permanent. The only thing any of us have in common is the inevitable.”

“Be accepting. Of everything. People's differences, their similarities, their choices, their personalities. Sometimes it takes a variety to make a good collection. The same goes for people.”

“So what if the heartaches you wrote last year isn't what you're feeling today. it may be exactly what the person in the front row is feeling. What you're feeling now, and the person you may reach with your words five years from now- that's why you write poetry.”

“Sorry,” Kiersten says to Lake and I. “Mom says the FCC is responsible for inventing cusswords just for media shock value. She says if everyone would just use them enough, they wouldn’t be considered cusswords anymore and no one would ever be offended by them” This kid is hard to keep up with!“Your mother encourages you to cuss?” Gavin says.Kiersten nods. “I don’t see it that way. It’s more like she’s encouraging us to undermine a system flawed through overuse of words that are made out to be harmful, when in fact they’re just letters, mixed together like every other word. That’s all they are, mixed up letters. Like, take the word “butterfly” for example. What if someone decided one day that butterfly is a cussword? People would eventually start using butterfly as an insult, and to emphasize things in a negative way. The actual WORD doesn’t mean anything. It’s the negative association people give these words that make them cusswords. So if we all just decided to keep saying butterfly all the time, eventually people would stop caring. The shock value would subside…and it would just become another word again. Same with every other so-called bad word. If we would all just start saying them all the time, They wouldn’t be bad anymore. That’s what my mom says anyway.” “Kiersten?” Eddie says. “Will you be my new best friend?”Lake grabs a french fry off her plate and throws it at Eddie, hitting her in the face with it. “That’s Bullshit,” Lake says.“Oh, go BUTTERFLY yourself,” Eddie says. She returns a fry in Lakes direction.”

“Wife? Are you sure you're ready to not call retreat? Right now?"I'm butterflying positive.”

“I continue to exist, and he continues to exist, but we don't exist together. Days continue to pass no matter who I exist with, though.”

“Her lips are in close proximity to mine, so of course I have to kiss them.”

“I'm telling you to marry me Lake....because I can't live without you.”

“Lake, I love you. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you. You know that.”

“I need you to be mad at me, Sky. But I think I need you to still want me here with you even more.”

“I Love you, Hope”

“Sky passed out on the road today," Karen says, changing the subject. "Some adorable man-boy carried her inside." I laugh. "Guy, Mom. Please just say guy.”

“I can't help but watch his lips as they cover the opening of the bottle that my lips were just touching. We're practically kissing.”

“Should it matter what genre it is if the book is good?”

“Understanding a situation doesn't always make it easier”

“It’s worth all the aches, All the tears, the mistakes… The heart of a man and a woman in love? It’s worth all of the pain in the world.”

“Sometimes things happen in life that you didn’t plan for. All you can do is suck it up and start mapping out a new plan.”

“I met a girl in a U-Haul.A beautiful girlAnd I fell for her.I fell hard.Unfortunately, sometimes life gets in the way.Life definitely got in my way.It got all up in my damn way,Life blocked the door with a stack of wooden 2x4'snailed together and attached to a fifteen inch concrete wallbehind a row of solid steel bars, bolted to a titanium frame thatno matter how hard I shoved against it-Itwouldn'tbudge.Sometimes life doesn't budge.It just gets all up in your damn way.It blocked my plans, my dreams, my desires, my wishes,my wants, my needs.It blocked out that beautiful girlThat I fell so hard for.Life tries to tell you what's best for youWhat should be most important to youWhat should come in firstOr secondOr third.I tried so hard to keep it all organized, alphabetized,stacked in chronological order, everything in its perfect space,its perfect place.I thought that's what life wanted me to do.This is what life needed for me to do.Right?Keep it all in sequence?Sometimes, life gets in your way.It gets all up in your damn way.But it doesn't get all up in your damn way because itwants you to just give up and let it take control. Life doesn't getall up in your damn way because it just wants you to hand it allover and be carried along.Life wants you to fight it.It wants you to grab an axe and hack through the wood.It wants you to get a sledgehammer and break throughthe concrete.It wants you to grab a torch and burn through the metaland steel until you can reach through and grab it.Life wants you to grab all the organized, thealphabetized, the chronological, the sequenced. It wants you tomix it all together,stir it up,blend it.Life doesn't want you to let it tell you that your littlebrother should be the only thing that comes first.Life doesn't want you to let it tell you that your careerand your education should be the only thing that comes insecond.And life definitely doesn't want meTo just let it tell methat the girl I met,The beautiful, strong, amazing, resilient girlThat I fell so hard forShould only come in third.Life knows.Life is trying to tell meThat the girl I love,The girl I fellSo hard for?There's room for her in first.I'm putting her first.”

“I got schooled this year.By everyone.By my little brother...by The Avett Brothers...by my mother, my best friend, my teacher, my father,andbyaboy.a boy that I'm seriously, deeply, madly, incredibly, and undeniably in love with...I got so schooled this year.By a nine-year-old.He taught me that it's okay to live lifea little backwards.And how to laughAt what you would thinkis un-laughable.I got schooled this yearBy a Band!They taught me how to find that feeling of feeling again.They taught me how to decide what to beAnd go be it.I got schooled this year.By a cancer patient.She taught me so much. She's still teaching me so much.She taught me to question.To never regret.She taught me to push my boundaries,Because that's what they're there for.She told me to find a balance between head and heartAnd thenshe taught me how...I got schooled this yearBy a Foster KidShe taught me to respect the hand that I was dealt.And to be grateful I was even dealt a hand.She taught me that familyDoesn't have to be blood.Sometimes your familyare your friends.I got schooled this yearBy my teacherHe taught meThat the points are not the point,The point is poetry...I got schooled this yearBy my father.He taught me that hero's aren't always invincibleAnd that the magicis within me..I got schooled this yearbyaBoy.a boy that I'm seriously, deeply, madly, incredibly, and undeniably in love with.And he taught me the most important thing of all...To put the emphasisOn life.”

“I used to love the ocean.Everything about her.Her coral reefs, her white caps, her roaring waves, the rocks they lap, her pirate legends and mermaid tails,Treasures lost and treasures held...And ALLOf her fishIn the sea.Yes, I used to love the ocean,Everything about her.The way she would sing me to sleep as I lay in my bedthen wake me with a forceThat I soon came to dread.Her fables, her lies, her misleading eyes,I'd drain her dryIf I cared enough to.I used to love the ocean,Everything about her.Her coral reefs, her white caps, her roaring waves, the rocks they lap, her pirate legends and mermaid tails, treasures lost and treasures held.And ALLOf her fishIn the sea.Well, if you've ever tried navigating your sailboat through her stormy seas, you would realize that her white capsare your enemies. If you've ever tried swimming ashore when your leg gets a cramp and you just had a huge meal of In-n-Out burgers that's weighing you down, and her roaring waves are knocking the wind out of you, filling your lungs with water as you flail your arms, trying to get someone's attention, but yourfriendsjustwaveback at you?And if you've ever grown up with dreams in your head about life, and how one of these days you would pirate your own ship and have your own crew and that all of the mermaidswould loveonlyyou?Well, you would realize...Like I eventually realized...That all the good things about her?All the beautiful?It's not real.It's fake.So you keep your ocean,I'll take the Lake.”

“My name is Olivia KingI am five years old.My mother bought me a balloon. I remember the day she walked through the front door with it. The curly hot pink ribbon trickling down her arm, wrapped around her wrist. She was smiling at me as she untied the ribbon and wrapped it around my hand.“Here Livie, I bought this for you.”She called me Livie.I was so happy. I’d never had a balloon before. I mean, I always saw balloons wrapped around other kids wrists in theparking lot of Wal-Mart, but I never dreamed I would have myvery own.My very own pink balloon.”

“BLUE SWEATERBom Bom...Bom Bom...Bom Bom...Do you hear that?That's the sound of my heart beating...Bom Bom...Bom Bom...Bom Bom...Do you hear that? That's the sound of your heart beating.It was the first day of October. I was wearing my blue sweater, you know the one I bought at Dillard’s? The one with a double knitted hem and holes in the ends of the sleeves that I could poke my thumbs through when it was cold but I didn't feel like wearing gloves? It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look like reflections of the stars on the ocean.You promised to love me forever that night...and boydid youever!It was the first day of December this time. I was wearing my blue sweater, you know the one I bought at Dillard’s? The one with a double knitted hem and holes in the ends of the sleeves that I could poke my thumbs through when it was cold but I didn't feel like wearing gloves? It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look like reflections of the stars on the ocean. I told you I was three weeks lateYou said it was fate.You promised to love me forever that night...and boydid youever!It was the first day of May. I was wearing my blue sweater, although this time the double stitched hem was wornand the strength of each thread tested as they were pulled tight against my growing belly. You know the one. The same one I bought at Dillard’s? The one with holes in the ends of thesleeves that I could poke my thumbs through when it was cold but I didn't feel like wearing gloves? It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look like reflections of the stars on theocean.The SAME sweater you RIPPED off of my body as you shoved me to the floor,calling me a whore ,telling meyou didn't love meanymore.Bom Bom...Bom Bom...Bom Bom...Do you hear that? That's the sound of my heart beating.Bom Bom...Bom Bom...Bom Bom...Do you hear that? That's the sound of your heartbeating.(There is a long silence as she clasps her hands to her stomach, tears streaming down her face)Do you hear that? Of course you don't. That's the silenceof my womb.Because youRIPPEDOFFMYSWEATER!”

“Divide and conquer. That's my new family motto”

“Okay. Would you rather I looked like Hugh Jackman or George Clooney?” “Johnny Depp,” she says. She answers a little too fast for my comfort. “What the hell, Lake? You’re supposed to say Will! You’re supposed to say you want me to look like me!” “But you weren't one of the options,” she says. “Neither was Johnny Depp!”

“Now that I have you back, I’m never letting you go. That’s a promise. I’m not letting you go again.”

“...take it from someone who’s had it before…you don’t want to let it slip away. Fight for her.”

“I’ll never be able to give you everything you deserve, but I’ll definitely spend the rest of my life trying.”

“A guy can tell a girl he's in love with her until he's blue in the face. Words don't mean anything to a woman when her head’s full of doubt. You have to show her.”

“I got so schooled this year.By a nine year old.He taught me that it's okay to live life a little backwards.”

“Don't say it's over ‘Cause that's the worst news I could hear I swear that I will Do my best to be here just the way you like it Even though it’s hard to hide Push my feelings all aside I will rearrange my plans and change for you. (-The Avett Brothers)”

“With paranoia on my heels Will you love me still When we awake and you see that The sanity has gone from my eyes?”

“I love you, Lake," he smiles as he presses his forehead against mine. "You deserve to come first.”

“And life definitely doesn't want me To just let it tell me that the girl I met,The beautiful, amazing, strong, resilient girl That I fell so hard forShould only come in third Life knows. Life is trying to tell neThat the girl I love The girl I fellSo hard for?There's room for her in first. I'm putting her first.”

“How do you not fall in love with him?"The tears begin flowing just as quickly as they were ceasing. I grab yet another tissue.  "I don't not fall in love with him. I don't not fall in love with him a lot!”

“Life happens. Shit happens. And it happens a lot. To a lot of people.”