Curtis Sittenfield

“And as for Martha-I never understood when I was at Ault why she liked me as much as I liked her. Even now, I'm still not sure. I couldn't give back half of what she gave me, and that fact should have knocked off the balance between us, but it didn't, and I don't know why not....But she had liked me before I became likable; that was the confusing part....Martha was the closest friend I'd ever had; I was, as always, preoccupied by the present moment; and I was too young then to understand how simple facts of geography and time can separate people.”

“This desperate aversion to seeming like you wanted anything, or worse, to going after it, stayed with me for years after I left Ault.”

“And now I knew myself to be generous with encouragement only when I either did not want the thing the other person sought or did not believe the person would really get it. It was the opposite of what I aspired to - in the moment of truth, I wanted to be loyal and forthright, reliable, humble, trustworthy. Instead, I was greedy and envious.”