Cynthia Hand

“How's happiness class going, by the way?""Okay, so far.""Are you feeling happy?" he asks with the hint of a smirk.I shrug. "The professor says that happiness is wanting what you have."Christian makes a thoughtful noise in the back of his throat. "I see. Happiness is wanting what you have. Well, there you go. So what's the problem, then?""What do you mean?""Why is the class only okay?""Oh." I bit my lip, then confess. "Every time I meditate, I start glowing.”

“It’s quite the family reunion we’re having in here.”

“This is it.We’re going to hell.”

“So much, I think then. There is still so very much to lose.”

“I wanted to kiss you,” he murmurs. “Me. Not because of some vision I saw. Because of you. Because of what I feel.”

“He’s waiting. He’s still waiting. He’s given up everything for me. His entire life. His future. Everything, because he wants to keep me safe. Because he believes, in his heart, that he’s my purpose and I’m his.”

“But the truth is, if you'd followed your vision, if you'd just trusted the plan, everything would have worked out fine.”

“Tonight I want us to simply be Christian and Clara, two college students on a date.”

“I am taking you out. On a date. Before things get crazy.”

“Have a nice life, Clara,” he says. “You deserve to be happy.”

“Tucker Avery wants to be my friend.”

“Clara,” he says quietly. “I think it’s time you told me about what happened in Italy.”

“That’s what I feel. I’d die to protect you.”

“I would lay down my life to protect you, Clara,”

“But there’s something about you two, when you’re together. It’s like you fit.” He grins. Shrugs. “He’s your soul mate.”

“You’re very powerful, Clara,” Dad says. “Even for a Triplare, you’re remarkable. Your connection is strong and steady.”

“One of them is probably Michael, I think. All I have to do to find my dad is go to church.”

“Today it’s just us and the wind.”

“We can take this “we belong together” thing slow”

“I’m ready to stop saying good-bye to things. I’mgoing to start saying hello.”

“I missed his voice in my head, in my ears. I missed his face. His smile.”

“He’s giving it all back. I hate how much this hurts me, how much I’m clearly still hanging on to what we had.”

“I close my eyes again. There’s the smell of mountain snow on the air. I shiver. I would have brought a coat if I’d known I was going to be in Wyoming today. I’m a wuss about cold.You’re my California flower, I remember Tucker saying to me once. We were sitting on the pasture fence at the Lazy Dog, watching his dad break in a colt, the leaves in the trees red just like they are today. I started shivering so hard my teeth actually began to chatter, and Tucker laughed at me and called me that—his delicate California flower— and wrapped me in his coat.”

“I don’t know ifyou know this about me, but I am a soldier.”Or the leader of God’s army, but okay, let’s be modest.”

“I don't know if it's the terrible pain from my shouler or the weight of his emotional baggage, but I feel like I'm losing all sense of reality.”

“I am amazed at how being with him changes everything for me, socially speaking.”

“What were you supposed to do?" he asks in an amused voice."Save you. Only I wasn't actually supposed to do that, was I?""That's the hardest part," he says. " The absence of certainty.”

“You healed him until you passed out, until you stoppedbreathing yourself for a few seconds, and then Jeffrey thumped him on the chest a fewtimes, gave him a couple of puffs that I’m sure neither of them will ever want to talkabout again, and he came back. He coughed out about a gallon of lake water, but he cameback.”

“..." Happpiness is wanting what you have”

“As your abilities begin to grow, your angelic side will start to manifest itself in more noticeable ways.""My angelic side. Great. Like I don't have enough to deal with.""It's not so bad," Mom says. "You'll learn to control it.""I'll learn to control my hair?”

“If this is foolish, I don’t want to be wise.”

“Angela’s in love with an angel.”

“We are all connected, everything that lives and breathes in this world, and glory is what binds." Next thing he'll be talking about the Force, I know it.”

“This is the part where my life becomes all apocalyptic, I think.”

“I guess I always knew that our time together would be fleeting. Ephemeral.”

“Love is a many-splendored thing," she says. "But it is also a pain in the ass.”

“My heart knows right where to go”

“My mother always says that love is like a snakebite, a venom slowly spreading through your veins.”

“Hell stinks.”

“I don't have to do this alone.If I had my gratitude journal on me now, that's what I would write.”

“We think of happiness as something we can take. But usually it comes from being content with what we have, and accepting ourselves.”

“It doesn't taste anything like the drink I had at the party with Tucker. And now, almost two years later, I realize why. Tucker never put any rum in my rum and Coke. That little stink. That overly protective, impossible, infuriating, and utterly sweet little stink.In that moment I miss him so much my stomach hurts.”

“I know the path by heart, by heart- a funny expression, so true. My heart knows right where to go.”

“It wasn't you're fault," I whisper. And then out of self-protection more than anything else, I bring the glory. I don't warn him or anything. I don't damp it down. I bring it. The room fills with light."This is what I am," I say, my hair ablaze around my head.He squints at me. his jaw juts out a little in pure stubbornness. He stands his ground"I know," he says.I take a step towards him, close the space between us, put my glowing hand against his cheek. He starts to tremble. "This is what I am," I say again and my wings are out now.His knees wobble, but he fights it. He puts his hand at my waist, turns me, pulls me closer, which surprises me."I can accept that," he whispers, and holds his breath, and leans in to kiss meHis lips brush mine for an instant, and an emotion like victory tears through him, but he pulls away and glances at the front door. Groans.Christian is standing in the doorway."Wow," Tucker says, trying to grin. "You really know how to cramp a guy's style."His legs give out. He falls to his knees.My light blinks off.”

“What we have is divine. It's beautiful and good and right. I feel it..." He presses his his hand to his chest, over his heart. "I feel it all the time. You're in here, part of me. You're what I go to bed thinking about and what I wake up to in the morning.”

“I can't stop thinking about how much better she'd be for him than I am.But I also kind of want to tear her hair out.”

“So you're still in love with my brother." -Wendy Avery”

“So did you really mean all that stuff you said when I was a dead man?""Every word.""Could you say it again?" he asks. "My memory's a little fuzzy.""Which part?" The part where I said I wanted to stay with you forever?""Yeah," he murmurs, his face close to mine, his breath hot on my cheek."When I said that I love you?"He pulls back a little, searches my eyes with his. "Yes. Say it.""I love you."He takes a deep, happy breath. "I love you," he says back. "I love you, Clara."Then his gaze drops to my lips again, and he leans in, and the rest of the world simply goes away.”

“I can't leave you," he says hoarsely."I can't leave you either," I say, shaking my head. "I can't.""Then don't," he says, and grabs me behind the neck and kisses me again, and the world is tilting, and everything goes black.”

“Humans fear death so much, but there is no death,” he whispers. “There is only the illusion of it. We can never cease to be. We must stay like this. Forever.”