Danilo Kis

“I assigned myself the role of Lot’s wife, because her behavior seemed the most human, the most sinful, and therefore closest to mine. Consumed by curiosity, I was drawn to the magnificent, horrible sight of fire and disaster as houses collapsed and towers folded like dominoes amidst human wailing that rose to the sky. My curiosity, brought to an explosive point by the divine warning, was suddenly transformed into my sole trait, overwhelming reason and the feeling of fear, turning me into a weakling of a woman, unable to resist my inquisitiveness, and I would turn around abruptly with my whole body as if rotated by the centrifugal force of my curiosity, which had passed through me like a sword.”

“Since childhood, I was afflicted with a sick hypersensitivity, and my imagination quickly turned everything into a memory, too quickly: sometimes one day was enough, or an interval of a few hours, or a routine change of place, for an everyday event with a lyrical value that I did not sense at the time, to become suddenly adorned with a radiant echo, the echo ordinarily reserved only for those memories which have been standing for many years in the powerful fixative of lyrical oblivion.”

“I would have liked to catch hold of sleep at least once, just as I had been resolved to catch hold of death one day, to catch hold of the wings of the angel of sleep when it came for me, to grab it with two fingers like a butterfly after sneaking up on it from behind. [...] My sleep game was practice for the grand struggle with death.”

“Terribly thwarted in the autumn and winter, deadened in summer, in the spring his egoism would awaken his once inadequately defined revolt against world order and people, and this rebelliousness, this surplus energy, this restlessness of mind and blood would bring him back to life.”

“U svakom mom retku, u svakoj mojoj reči, u svakoj tački nalaziš se i ti, kao polen.”

“Što je bilo, bilo je. Prošlost živi u nama i ne možemo je izbrisati. Pošto su snovi slika onoga sveta, i dokaz njegovog postojanja, susrećemo se u snovima; kleči kraj furune u koju trpa vlažna drva; ili me doziva promuklim glasom. Tada se budim i palim svetlo. Kajanje i bol se polako pretvaraju u sumornu radost sećanja. Naš dugi, strasni i strašni roman ispunio je moj život, osmislio ga je, i ja ne tražim nikakve nadoknade. Mene neće biti u indeksu knjiga Mendela Osipoviča, u njegovim biografijama ili u fusnoti uz neku pesmu. Ja, gospodine, jesam delo Mendela Osipoviča, kao što je i on moje delo. Ima li lepšeg proviđenja?”

“I dislike people who get out of things unscraped. No scars, no scratches. Agnosceo veteris vestigia flamme. Refined through a scar.”

“Kad se jedna laž ponavlja dugo, narod počinje da veruje.”

“Mislila sam, kao što ljudi u teškim nevoljama misle, da će mi promena mesta pomoći da zaboravim svoj bol, kao da svoju nesreću ne nosimo U sebi.”

“Nacionalista je, po definiciji, ignorant. Nacionalizam je, dakle, linija manjeg otpora, komocija. Nacionalisti je lako, on zna, ili misli da zna, svoje vrednosti, svoje, što će reći nacionalne, što će reći vrednosti nacije kojoj pripada, etičke i političke, a za ostale se ne interesuje, ne interesuju ga, pakao to su drugi (druge nacije, drugo pleme). Njih ne treba ni proveravati. Nacionalista u drugima vidi isključivo sebe – nacionaliste. Pozicija, rekosmo li, komotna. Strah i zavist. Opredeljenje, angažovanje koje ne iziskuje truda. Ne samo “pakao to su drugi”, u okviru nacionalnog ključa, naravno, nego i: sve što nije moje (srpsko, hrvatsko, francusko…) to mi je strano. Nacionalizam je ideologija banalnosti. Nacionalizam je, dakle, totalitarna ideologija. Nacionalizam je, pre svega, paranoja. Kolektivna i pojedinačna paranoja. Kao kolektivna paranoja, ona je posledica zavisti i straha, a iznad svega posledica gubljenja individualne svesti; te, prema tome, kolektivna paranoja i nije ništa drugo do zbir individualnih paranoja doveden do paroksizma.”

“Istoriju pišu pobednici. Predanja ispreda puk. Književnici fantaziraju. Izvesna je samo smrt.”

“Ne volim ljude koji se izvlače iz sveta kao kišne gliste. Bez ožiljka i bez ogrebotine. Komedijaši. Agnosceo veteris vestigia flamme. Ožiljkom jednim obogaćen.”

“Kad budu svi roktali svojim svinjskim srcima, poslednji koji će još gledati ljudskim očima i osećati ljudskim srcem biće oni kojima ne bejaše strano iskustvo umetnosti.”

“Otela mi je, Igore brate, moju sebičnost, moje remekdelo!”

“The flickering shadows dissolve the outlines of things and break up the surfaces of the cube, the walls and ceiling move to and fro to the rhythm of the jagged flame, which by turns flares up and dies down as though about to go out. The yellow clay at the bottom of the cube rises like the floorboards of a sinking boat, then falls back into the darkness, as though flooded with muddy water. The whole room trembles, expands, contracts, moves a few centimeters to the right or left, up or down, all the while keeping its cubical shape. Horizontals and verticals intersect at several points, all in vague confusion, but governed by some higher law, maintaining an equilibrium that prevents the walls from collapsing and the ceiling from tilting or falling. This equilibrium is due no doubt to the regular movement of the crossbeams, for they, too, seem to glide from right to left, up and down, along with their shadows, without friction or effort, as lightly as over water. The waves of the night dash against the sides of the roomboat. Gusts of wind blow soft flakes and sharp icy crystals by turns against the windowpane. The square, embrasure-like window is stuffed with a disemboweled pillow; bits of cloth stick out and dangle like amorphous plants or creepers. It is hard to say whether they are trembling under the impact of the wind blowing through the cracks, or whether it is only their shadow that sways to the rhythm of the jagged flame. ”