Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson
Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.
“Because," Leonard said, "light overcomes darkness. A tiny match can illuminate the darkest room. As long as there is some light somewhere in the universe you can be defeated.”
“I see', said Smee, still not seeing.”
“IF YOU COME NEAR THIS BOAT, I WILL CUT OFF HIS HEAD, D'YOU UNDERSTAND, SAVAGES?”
“Smee, you are a supreme idjit.""Aye, Cap'n.”
“Smee! Raise the Ladies!”
“The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.”