David Berman

“I passed out on the fourteenth floor. The CPR was so erotic.”

“There are things I've given up onLike recording funny answering machine messages.It's part of growing olderAnd the human race as a group has matured along the same lines.It seems our comedy dates the quickest.If you laugh out loud at Shakespeare's jokesI hope you won't be insultedif I say you're trying too hard.Even sketches from the original Saturday Night Liveseem slow-witted and obvious now.”

“Nude descending a staircase headless,not knowing where she is goingbut brave because all dreams lack conclusions and she is not enlisted to an ending.”

“You can't change the feelingbut you can change your feelings about the feeling in a second or two”

“I believe the stars are the headlights of angels driving from heaven to save usto save us...Won't you look at the sky?They're driving from heaven into our eyes. And though final words are so hard to devise, I promise that I'll always remember your pretty eyes.”

“...and my signature is drawn in magic markeron the lower right hand corner of the windowso when something passes in the darkit's captured for a moment inside my work.”

“out in the wide readership,his younger brother was kicking an ice bucket in the woods behind the Marriott,his younger brother who was missing that part of the brain that allows you to make out with your pillow.Poor kid.”