David Eddings

“It's only a story, isn't it?"..."Who's to say what's only a story and what's truth disguised as a story?”

“Oh, well," Silk said wryly, "we might as well get it out into the open, I suppose. Gentlemen," he said, "I'm sure you all remember the Margravine Liselle, my fiancee.""Your fiancee?" Barak exclaimed in amazement."We all have to settle down sometime." Silk shrugged.They all gathered around to congratulate him. Velvet, however, did not look pleased."Was something the matter, dear?" Silk asked her, all innocence."Don't you think you've forgotten something, Kheldar?" she asked acidly."Not that I recall.""You neglected to ask me about this first.""Really? Did I actually forget that? You weren't planning to refuse, were you?""Of course not.""Well, then --""You haven't heard the last of this, Kheldar," she said ominously."I seem to be getting off to a bad start here," he observed."Very bad," she agreed.”

“Don't wrench your shoulder out of its socket trying to pat yourself on the back," Beldin said sourly.”

“...I made some more threats. I've got this big knife back here." He poked his thumb over his shoulder. "It attracts a lot of attention sometimes.”

“I note this hound of thine, Sir Knight," he said to Garion to ease them past an embarrassing moment, "a bitch, I perceive--""Steady," Garion said firmly to the she-wolf. "That is a very offensive term," she growled."He didn't invent it. It's not his fault.""...Canst thou perhaps, Sir Knight, identify her breed?""She is a wolf, my Lord," Garion told him."A wolf!" the baron exclaimed, leaping to his feet. "We must flee ere the fearsome beast fall upon us and devour us."It was a bit ostentatious, but sometimes thing like that impress people. Garion reached down and scratched the wolf's ears."...Ones advises that you stop that," the wolf told him, "unless you have a paw to spare.""You wouldn't!" he exclaimed, snatching his hand back."But you're not entirely sure, are you?" She bared her teeth almost in a grin.”

“I'm truly amazed at you, Garion," Polgara said. "I didn't think you had the faintest idea of how to speak a civilized language.""Thank you," he said, "I think.”

“Mimbrates are the bravest people in the world --probably because they don't have brains enough to be afraid of anything. Garion's friend Mandorallen is totally convinced that he's invincible.""He is," Ce'Nedra said in automatic defense of her knight. "I saw him kill a lion once with his bare hands.""...I heard him suggest to Barak and Hettar once that the three of them attack an entire Tolnedran legion.""Perhaps he was joking.""Mimbrate knights don't know how to joke," Silk told him."I will not sit here and listen to you people insult my knight," Ce'Nedra said hotly."We'renot insulting hi, Ce'Nedra," Silk told her. "We're describing him. He's so noble he makes my hair hurt.""Nobility is an alien concept to a Drasnian, I suppose," she noted."Not alien, Ce'Nedra. Incomprehensible.”

“Heroes aren't allowed to be nervous.""Who made up that rule?""It's a known fact...”

“Vella looked around. "This is really a revolting place, Yarblek," she told him."You've been spending too much time with Porenn," he said. "You're starting to get delicate.""How would you like to have me gut you?" she offered."That's my girl.”

“We are all children, Kheldar.--Cyradis”

“It's one of the advantages of being a woman. I get to do all sorts of unfair things, and you have to accept them because you're too polite not to.--Polgara”

“There was a sudden, shocking sound that echoed through Garion's head like an explosion."What was that?" Zakath exclaimed."You heard it, too?" Garion was amazed. "You shouldn't have been able to hear it!""It shook the earth, Garion. Look there." Zakath pointed off toward the north where a huge pillar of fire was soaring up toward the murky, starless sky. "What is it?""Aunt Pol did something. She's never that clumsy..."Belgarath and Beldin were both pale and shaken, and even Durnik seemed awed."She hasn't done anything that noisy since she was about sixteen," Beldin said,m blinking in astonishment. He looked suspiciously at Durnik. "Have you gone and got her pregnant?”

“Your extensive travels must have been fatiguing," Zakath said in that same flat tone, "particularly for the ladies. I'll see to it that your return journey to Mal Zeth is made in easy stages." "Your Majesty is very kind, but we're not going back to Mal Zeth.""You're wrong, Belgarion. You are going back to Mal Zeth.""Sorry, I've got a pressing engagement elsewhere.""I'll convey your regrets to Zandramas when I see her.""I'm sure she'd be overjoyed to hear that I'm not coming.""Not for very long, she won't. I fully intent to have her burned as a witch.""Good luck, your Majesty, but I don't think you'll find that she's very combustible.”

“Ce'Nedra returned, frowning and a little angry. "They won't give me their eggs, Lady Polgara," she complained. "They're sitting one them.""You have to reach under them and take the eggs, dear.""Won't that make them angry?""Are you afraid of a chicken?”

“...I can't abide snakes.""I don't even think of her as a snake.""Ce'Nedra," he said patiently, "she's long and skinny, she wriggles, she doesn't have any arms or legs, and she's poisonous. By definition, she's a snake." "...I'm bitterly disappointed in you, Prince Kheldar. She's a sweet, loving, brave little creature, and you're insulting her." He looked at her for a moment, then rose to his feet and bowed floridly to the earthenware bottle. "I'm dreadfully sorry, dear Zith," he apologized. "I can't think what came over me. Can you possible find it in your cold little green heart to forgive me?"Zith hissed at him, a hiss ending in a curious grunt."She says to leave her alone," Sadi told him."Can you really understand what she's saying?""In a general sort of way, yes. Snakes have a very limited vocabulary, so it's not all that difficult to pick up a few phrases here and there." The eunuch frowned. "She's been swearing a great deal lately, though, and that's not like her. She's usually a very ladylike little snake.""I can't believe I'm actually involved in this conversation," Silk said, shaking his head and going off down the hall toward the back of the house.”

“I'd really like to go with you, Agachak. Truly I would...but I just can't.""I don't understand. Why not?""I'm not allowed to leave home. My mother'd punish me something awful if I did...""But you're the king.""That doesn't change a thing. I still do what mother says. She tells everybody that I'm the best boy ever when it comes to that."Agachak resisted a powerful urge to change this half-wit into a toad or perhaps a jellyfish.”

“Nothing that's really worthwhile should be easy, Belgarion. If it's easy, we don't value it...--Eriond”

“...If there's a noise in the woods, and there's nobody around to hear it, is it really a noise?""Of course it is," she replied calmly."How did you reach that conclusion?" Beldin demanded."Because there's no such thing as an empty place, uncle. There are always creatures around --wild animals, mice, insects, birds --and they can all hear.""But what if there weren't? What if the woods are truly empty?""Why waste your time talking about an impossibility?”

“You're a cynic," Urgit accused.Silk shook his head. "No, Your Majesty. I'm a realist.”

“Why do you persist in being so frivolous, Urgit?""Why don't we just call it a symptom of my incipient madness?""You're not going to go mad," she said firmly."Of course I'm going to go mad, mother. I'm rather looking forward to it.”

“...I know that in your heart you miss all those wonderful moments you spent with my father --watching him gnaw on the furniture, listening to his insane gibbering, and enjoying all those playful blows to the stomach and kicks to the head with which he demonstrated his affection for his wives.--King Urgit”

“Behold the Drojim Palace," King Urgit said extravagantly to Sadi, "the hereditary home of the House of Urga.""A most unusual structure, You Majesty," Sadi murmured."That's a diplomatic way to put it." Urgit looked critically at his palace. "It's gaudy, ugly, and in terribly bad taste. It does, however, suit my personality almost perfectly.”

“Belgarath turned back to Senji. “All right,” he said. “The Sardion came to Zamad. How?”“It’s said to have fallen out of the sky.”“They always do,” Beldin said. “Someday I’d like to see something rise up out of the earth –just for the sake of variety.”

“It's really a very simple arrangement, little mother. He fully understands that either they get healthy, or he gets sick. That sort of encourages him to do his best.”

“...it's as empty as a merchant's soul. Sorry, Kheldar, it's just an old expression.""That's all right, Beldin," Silk forgave him grandly. "These little slips of the tongue are common in the very elderly.”

“Belgarath and Garion effortlessly hurdled over the driftwood and loped off into the fog. "It's going to be a wet day," Garion noted soundlessly as he ran alongside the great silver wolf."Your fur won't melt.""I know, but my paws get cold when they're wet.""I'll have Durnik make you some little booties.""That would be absolutely ridiculous, Grandfather," Garion said indignantly.”

“But there's a world beyond what we can see and touch, and that world lives by its own laws. What may be impossible in this very ordinary world is very possible there, and sometimes the boundaries between the two worlds disappear, and then who can say what is possible and impossible?”

“I was reading an old text on the exploits of Belgarath the Sorcerer, and I –“ Senji stopped, going very pale, turned, and gaped at Garion’s grandfather.“It’s a terrible letdown, isn’t it?” Beldin said. “We always told him he ought to try to look more impressive.”“You’re in no position to talk,” the old man said.“You’re the one with the earthshaking reputation.” Beldin shrugged. “I’m just a flunky. I’m along for comic relief.” “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you, Beldin?”“I haven’t had so much fun in years. Wait until I tell Pol.”“You keep your mouth shut, you hear me?”“Yes, O mighty Belgarath,” Beldin said mockingly.”

“The policeman recognized me, but I suppose that’s only natural. Silk was going to kill him, but I said no.”“Why?” Beldin asked bluntly.“We were in the middle of a busy street for one thing. Killing somebody’s the sort of thing you ought to do in private, wouldn’t you say?”

“Who owns a man, Durnik?” the blond young man asked sadly. “The one who rules him, or the one who pays him?”

“Now what?” Urgit warily asked his bride-to-be.“Am I disturbing your Majesty?” Prala asked.“…You always disturb me, my beloved,” he answered her question, spreading his arms extravagantly.”

“The Hierarch of Rak Urga drew himself up. “This is not a request, Urgit. I’m not asking you.”“Good. Because I’m not going.”“I command you to go.”“I don’t think so.”“Do you realize to whom you’re talking?”“Perfectly, old boy. You’re the same tiresome old Grolim who’s been boring me to tears ever since I inherited the throne from that fellow who used to chew on the carpets back in Rak Goska. Listen carefully, Agachak. I’ll use short words and simple sentences so I don’t confuse you. I am not going to Mallorea. I’ve never had any intention of going to Mallorea. There’s nothing I want to see in Mallorea. There’s nothing I want to do there. I most definitely do not intend to put myself anywhere near Kal Zakath, and he’s gone back to Mal Zeth. Not only that, they have demons in Mallorea. Have you ever seen a demon, Agachak?”“Once or twice,” the Hierarch replied sullenly.“Are you’re still going to Mallorea? Agachak, you’re as crazy as Taur Urgas was.”

“Sparhawk grinned. "If Martel finds out that he's drinking again, he'll reach down his throat and pull his heart out." "Can you actually do that to a man?" "You can if your arm's long enough, and if you know what you're looking for.[...]”

“The unfortunate thing about working for yourself is that you have the worst boss in the world. I work every day of the year except at Christmas, when I work a half day.”

“The old man was peering intently at the shelves. 'I'll have to admit that he's a very competent scholar.'Isn't he just a librarian?' Garion asked, 'somebody who looks after books?'That's where all the rest of scholarship starts, Garion. All the books in the world won't help you if they're just piled up in a heap.”

“I could insist that somebody take me to her so I can obey her orders.""I think you might choke on that one, Zakath," Silk said lightly. "Obey is a difficult concept for someone in your position.""He's an irritating little fellow, isn't he?" Zakath said to Garion."I've noticed.""Why, your Majesties," Velvet said, all wide-eyed innocence, "what a thing to suggest.""Well, isn't he?" Zakath said pointedly."Of course, but it's not nice to talk about it."Silk looked slightly offended. "Would you people like for me to go away so you can talk freely?""Oh, that won't be necessary, Kheldar," Velvet said with a dimpled smile.”

“I'm hungry, Garion, and I don't think well when I'm hungry.""That might explain a lot," Beldin noted blandly. "We should have fed you more often when you were younger." "You can be terribly offensive sometimes, do you know that?""Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

“Zakath's face grew thoughtful. "You know something, Garion?" he said. "Man thinks he owns the world, but we share it with all sorts of creatures who are indifferent to our overlordship. They have their own societies, and I supposed even their own cultures. They don't even pay attention to us, do you?""Only when we inconvenience them...It teaches us humility," Garion agreed.”

“Will you never grow up?""I doubt it, and I certainly hope not.”

“We're all entitled to a little stupidity now and then. --Beldin”

“What happened to your foot?""I had a little disagreement with an eagle --stupid birds, eagles. He couldn't tell the difference between a hawk and a pigeon. I had to educate him. He bit me while I was tearing out a sizable number of his wing feathers.""Uncle," Polgara said reproachfully."He started it.”

“Durnik needs a tower somewhere in the Vale," Belgarath was saying."I don't see why, father," Polgara replied."All of Aldur's disciples have towers, Pol. It's the custom.""Old customs persist --even when there's no longer any need for them.""He's going to need to study, Pol. How can he possibly study with you underfoot all the time?"She gave him a long, chilly stare."Maybe I should rephrase that.”

“The only reason there's such a thing as a morning in the first place is to keep night and afternoon from bumping into each other.-Kheldar”

“Impatience is a poor substitute for a well-considered plan.”

“All I knew was that I would die if he sent me away. He shrugged. You can cut a man’s heart out with a shrug, did you know that?”

“I didn't particularly feel like being arrested, so I argued with the soldiers a bit. Several of them died during the argument - those things happen once in a while. Unfortunately, one of the casualties was Taur Urgas' oldest son. The king of the Murgos took it personally. He's very narrow-minded sometimes. - Silk”

“When ignorance is bliss, there's folly in wisdom.”

“Trust me. - Silk”

“My Lord, I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fir which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornement for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat? -Mandorallen”

“When you know that something's going to happen, you'll start trying to see signs of its approach in just about everything. Always try to remember that most of the things that happen in this world aren't signs. They happen because they happen, and their only real significance lies in normal cause and effect. You'll drive yourself crazy if you start trying to pry the meaning out of every gust of wind or rain squall. I'm not denying that there might actually be a few signs that you won't want to miss. Knowing the difference is the tricky part.”