David Levithan

“You never let things go unanswered for too long. Emails. Phone calls. Questions. As if you know the waiting is the hardest part for me.”

“That lasting things do, in fact, last.”

“I don’t like it when you use my shampoo, because then your hair smells like me, not you.”

“Things rarely get fixed the way they need to be.”

“So I said I wanted you to stay, even though nothing could stay the same.”

“As if that in some way made it better, that fate hadn’t planned it weeks in advance.”

“And I told you: I think of a photograph you took of me, up in Montreal. You told me to jump in the air, so in the picture, my feet are off the ground. Later, I asked you why you wanted me to do that, and you told me it was the only way to get me to forget about the expression on my face. You were right. I am completely unposed, completely genuine. In my mind’s eye, I picture myself like that, reacting to you.”

“I would always wait to take you home.”

“You leave the phone on beside you as you fall asleep. I sit in my bed and listen to your breathing, until I know you are safe, until I know you no longer need me for the night.”

“flux, n.The natural state. Our moods change. Our lives change. Our feelings for each other change. Our bearings change. The song changes. The air changes. The temperature of the shower changes.Accept this. We must accept this.”

“ethereal, adj.You leaned your head into mine, and I leaned my head into yours. Dancing cheek to cheek. Revolving slowly, eyes closed, heartbeat measure, nature’s hum. It lasted the length of an old song, and then we stopped, kissed, and my heart stayed there, just like that.”

“These words are now mine, but soon they’ll be ours.”

“The boy I loved didn't know I existed. Then again, he was obsessed with Camus, so he didn't know if any of us existed.”

“From behind the wheel, I learn the difference between a eulogy and an elegy, and discover which is more vital, in life and in death.”

“Even if neither of us got what we wanted, we found freedom in the third choices.”

“The key is to never recognize these imbalances. To not let the dauntingness daunt us.”

“I never know what you really want, if I can give it to you, or if I’m already too late.”

“What if Katie Couric had turned to me and said, “The love of your life is here in this crowd”? Would I have believed her? Would it have even been possible, if we’d met then?”

“By the time I got there, you’d already decided. And I quickly decided to let you decide. You were already seeing the rooms as ours, and that was enough for me.”

“bolster, v.I am very careful whenever I know you’re on the phone with your father. I know you’ll come to me eventually, and we’ll talk you through it. But I have to wait — you need your time. In the meantime, I’m careful what songs I play. I try to speak to you with my selections.”

“acronym, n.I remember the first time you signed an email with SWAK. I didn’t know what it meant. It sounded violent, like a slap connecting. SWAK! Batman knocking down the Riddler. SWAK! Cries of “Liar! Liar!” Tears. SWAK! So I wrote back: SWAK? And the next time you wrote, ten minutes later, you explained.I loved the ridiculous image I got from that, of you leaning over your laptop, touching your lips gently to the screen, sealing your words to me before turning them into electricity. Now every time you SWAK me, the echo of that electricity remains.”

“I say good-bye to the part of myself that misses him so much.”

“But I still has enough longing for that concept that I didn't want to dispel it completely. Meaning: I didn't want to tell Lily that I felt we'd all been duped by Plato and the idea of a soul mate. Just in case it turned out that she was mine.”

“Deep down, you see, I long to be arcane, esoteric. I would love to confound people with their own language.”

“I had always felt that mittens were a few steps back on the evolutionary scale-- why, I wondered, would we want to make ourselves into a less agile version of lobster.”

“Sorry to be so cynical, but this is New York”

“I was sixteen and equipped with the appropriate genitalia, so I cleared that hurdle nicely.”

“Game over," you say, and I don't know which I take more exception to-- the fact that you say its over, or the fact that you say it's a game.”

“Here," she said. "This is for you.""I didn't really get you anything," I sputtered. "I mean, I didn't know that you were going to be here, and--""Don't worry. It's your embarrassment at not having the thought that counts.”

“Now when I have to remember a date, all I have to do is consult my rap sheet.”

“Neophyte, n.There are millions upon millions of people who have been through this before-- why is it that no one can give my good advice?”

“If there wasn't a word for it, would we realize our masochism as much?”

“Sometimes desire is air, sometimes desire is liquid. And every now and then, when everything else is air and liquid, desire solidifies, and the body is the magnet that draws its weight.”

“Which is more stubborn, the love or the two arguing people caught within it?”

“You may not have noticed, but I’m not what you’d call conventionally beautiful. In fact, you might say that I’m the opposite of that. Say, you know - to vocalize, sometimes ad nauseam? Do you think that there’s any minute in any day when I’m not aware of how big I am? Do you think there’s a single minute that goes by when I’m not thinking about how other people see me? Even though I have no control whatsoever over that? Don’t get me wrong - I love my body. But I’m not so much of an idiot to think that everybody else loves it. What really gets to me- what really bothers me - is that it’s all people see.”

“There is no such thing as no choice. There is always a choice. The only question is whether it's a bearable one.”

“I try to be a careful person. Most of the time my carelessness is completely unintentional.”

“lover, n.Oh, how I hated this word. So pretentious, like it was always being translated from the French. The tint and taint of illicit, illegitimate affections. Dictionary meaning: a person having a love affair. Impermanent. Unfamilial. Inextricably linked to sex.I have never wanted a lover. In order to have a lover, I must go back to the root of the word. For I have never wanted a lover, but I have always wanted lover, and to be loved.There is no word for the recipient of the love. There is only a word for the giver. There is the assumption that lovers come in pairs.When I say, Be my lover, I don't mean, Let's have an affair. I don't mean Sleep with me. I don't mean, Be my secret.I want us to go back to that root.I want you to be the one who loves me.I want to be the one who loves you.”

“We walk into a bar, and you're aware of all the eyes on you. We walk into a bar, and I'm aware of all the eyes on you, too. For you, this translate into confidence. But me? All I can feel is doubt.”

“But I think we both knew, even then, that what we had was something even more rare, and even more meaningful. I was going to be his friend, and was going to show him possibilities. And he, in turn, would become someone I could trust more than myself.”

“The houses have been condemned on Memory LaneI’m tired of this struggle that leaves everything the sameI’ve tried so hard to make it workthat I’m dying insideWell, you can take my pastBut you can’t have my tomorrowPromises that remain promises are useless and they’re cheapI wish I could put a price on words so I could make them keepI put so much faith in youI lost all my faith in meWell, you can take my pastBut you can’t have my tomorrowI’m giving up on giving upI can’t leave it all to prayer‘Cause the first step in getting betteris knowing what’s not thereYou said you’d make it betterand that just makes it worseWell, you can take my pastBut you can’t have my tomorrowYes, I want my life to lastSo you can’t have my tomorrowNo, you can’t have my tomorrow”

“When it all come down to it, the thing that matters most in a relationship is principles [...] We have the same idea what’s right and what’s wrong, and that’s got us through any number of things. If you can have that with someone, then you’re most of the way toward love. Not just lover-love. Any kind of love.”

“There are times I think of us all and I wish we were back in second grade. Not really that young. But I wish it felt like second grade. I’m not saying everyone was friends back then. But we all got along. There were groups, but they didn’t really divide. At the end of the day, your class was your class, and you felt like you were a part of it. You had your friends and you had the other kids, but you didn’t really hate anyone longer than a couple of hours. Everybody got a birthday card. In second grade, we were all in it together. Now we’re all apart.”

“Music is everywhere. It’s in the air between us, waiting to be sung.”

“Our moments are music, and sometimes – just sometimes – we can catch them and put them into some lasting form. If we didn’t have music, I don’t think we could ever be truly happy, and if we didn’t have special moments, we would never find music.”

“Love doesn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t have to be by the time you turn eighteen or thirty-three or fifty-nine. It doesn’t have to conform to whatever is usual. It doesn’t have to be kismet at once, or rhapsody by the third day.It just has to be. In time. In place. In spirt.It just has to be.”

“Esas clases de peleas nunca pueden ser ganadas, incluso si eres el victorioso, has herido a la otra persona, y tiene que haber alguna derrota asociada con eso.”

“incessant, adj. The doubts. You had to save me from my constant doubts. That deep-seeded feeling that I wasn't good enough for anything I was a fake at my job I wasn't your equal my friends would forget me if I moved away for a month. It wasn't as easy as hearing voices nobody was telling me this. It was just something I knew. Everyone else was playing along but I was sure that one day they would all stop.”

“corrode, v.I spent all this time building a relationship. Then one night I left the window open and it started to rust.”

“barfly n. You have the ability to talk to anyone which is an ability I do not share.”