Derek Haines photo

Derek Haines

Derek Haines is an author of quite a number of books, however, he spends most of his time blogging, making technology go horribly wrong, and being a rather senior ESL English teacher.

Born in Australia, but now living in Switzerland with his wife and his black Cocker Spaniel, he passes many hours, trying to make technology work again, after inadvertently breaking it. It's a painful process, yet it’s such an effective self-study method in acquiring new technological skills.

As I’m a writer – I can change adroitly from the third person into the first person, and say that I love what I do and where I live, and also, that I am a Douglas Adams fanatic, bordering on a tragic. So much so, that by some spooky coincidence, my street address is 42. That’s so much more impressive than simply owning a towel and having ready access to peanuts and beer.

However, peanuts and beer are extremely important, as they provide essential sustenance during my bouts of obsessive writing, which although rare, usually take place in a horizontal position. I should mention here that I am very fond of acronyms, anagrams, allegories and alliteration, also.

In addition, I quite like commas. The Oxford type, or otherwise. However, quite perversely, I am not enamoured by quotation marks. I use them, singularly if possible, but even then, only under sufferance. As for semicolons; who really knows how to use them?

Aside from my never-ending punctuation conundrums, I enjoy life, good food, wine, beer, and I take each day as it comes – thankfully.


“While some waste their time looking for the meaning of life, there are others who understand there is none and just get on enjoying the space they are renting.”
Derek Haines
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“I feel much better. It is not Wednesday.”
Derek Haines
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“Women only want what they don't have. Men want what they can't have.”
Derek Haines
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“I don’t like Wednesdays.”
Derek Haines
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“There's a good reason I am a writer. I'm completely useless at anything else.”
Derek Haines
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“I don't have an occupation. Only a preoccupation.”
Derek Haines
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