Emmett Spain

“I mean, electric shock? Isn’t that a bit... electric shock-y?”

“From his vantage point on the window sill, The Dude cocked a rear leg back over his head and proceeded to lick at his private parts with a thoroughness that would make a lesser man blush. I shook my head at the sight and mumbled, “Show off,” in the animal’s general direction. For a moment the tiny kitten hesitated, leg still extended behind its head, face still over its crotch. It narrowed its eyes at me, let out a displeased sound, then promptly got back to work.I suppose there are worse things than being a cat.”

“I looked like a corpse, and not a particularly fresh corpse at that.”