Faith Hunter

“Sometimes when the poop hits the fan we should block it and run, sometimes we should haul off and knock it for a loop back at the spinning blades. Wisdom is knowing two things. One is which time is which. The other is that no matter what you do you're gonna get crap on your hand.”

“People of all faiths are responsible to help the weak, the downtrodden, the sick, and the helpless, especially children. And of all the religions in the world, Christians are the only ones that are commanded not to judge, yet we do every day -- gay people, ethnicities different from our own, people in mixed relationships, people with gifts they were born with, power they were born with, genetic mutations they were born with, illnesses of the brain and body. I've got a little girl's mother to save, and, yes, she's a witch. Are you gonna make it possible for me to save her?”

“You gonna put on your big-girl panties and fight with the boys, now?” He looked over his shoulder as if he expected me to blush or something.“Who says I wear panties?”I was certain that he flushed red this time. Laughing, I left him shaking his head and went on inside to find the Kid. We had work to do.”

“My brother has absolutely no sense of self-preservation or survival instinct,” Eli said. “He has no idea we’re out here. We could be silver-eating, flesh-regenerating, vampire zombies, and when we busted through the door to eat his brilliant brain, he’d look up and say, ‘Huh?”

“I would give,” he said, his voice rough, “everything I am to keep you from being hurt.”

“According to Francis, Narkis and Zoltar have been plotting against their dad.” “He did name his boys Narkis and Zoltar.” “Good point. I’d have shot him too.”

“The bluff on which Natchez sat was huge, and the road zigged and zagged and curled and twisted and dropped— like something Dr. Seuss might have imagined in a book titled The Cat in the Hat Drinks Blood.”

“Men who had the capacity to apologize—and who knew the right words with which to do it—were few and far between.”

“Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord,’” I whispered, the words familiar from Scripture. “But not this time, God. You had your chance.”

“But nothing in life was set in stone and nothing in life is promised us. Not happiness, not joy, not love. Everything was variable and mutable and inconstant.”

“Yet understanding one’s own nature is often a first step to personal growth. All this psychological crap was making me irritable.”

“Humans wore skin and clothes— many clothes instead of fur. Would have been smarter to grow fur, but humans were never smart.”

“It looked to me like a vamp version of a pissing contest. Men will be boys.”

“Beast had once informed me that humans were hunters only by luck and because they had opposable thumbs.”

“Jodi in tactical gear was something to behold. Pert, a lot shorter than I am, blond hair tucked under a helmet, cinched into body armor never intended to mold to the body of a curvy woman. Ugly but efficient attire. Someone needs to talk to armor designers about female body shapes and style.”

“You let the cops in. Thy've brought in a ram to take down the front door. A white chick in an evening gown will settle the cops faster than a brother with guns.”

“Vamps who are dying, or think they are, give a piercing, eardrum-bursting shriek, like the love child of a screech owl and a mountain lion on crystal meth, amplified like a seventies rock band.”

“Chicken, yeah, that's me. I'd rather fight an old rogue-vamp in my underwear, with my bare hands, than deal with relationship problems.”

“Yeah. You treat him like a son or a soldier, instead of like a brother. He wants you to like him and admire him and love him. Maybe in that order.”

“Walk softly and carry a big stick. Or stomp loudly and carry enough firepower to start a small war. Whatever worked”

“Hey, uh, you know. Um. If you’re alive, uh, call me." I looked at the screen and said, "It's Jane." I closed the phone, thinking, Lame. I am so lame.”

“Alarm stole over me on little kitten feet.”

“Admitting that Katie had taken too much blood was on par with saying an adult human had pooped their pants or eaten their own boogers!”

“Back to work. If I’m [writing] I’m not thinking about the crazy.”

“Really sucked the red off of all my candy.”

“I figured even the most jaded and cynical inhabitant might report a bloody girl in a party dress carrying a severed head by its hair.”