Fannie Flagg

“By the way, is there anything sadder than toys on a grave?”

“I believe poor people are good people, except the ones that are mean . . .”

“I eat out of stress," she told Robbie, and now, between work and her nephews driving her crazy, she was just on the verge of having to switch from her MEDIUM to her FAT AS A HOG wardrobe again, which meant she was going to have to switch shoe sizes as well. Robbie said she was the only perwon in America who gained weight in her feet.”

“Her good weight was 150 pounds, and 178 pounds was her top. Consequently, Brenda had three different sets of clothes hanging in her closet, labeled GOOD, MEDIUM and FAT AS A HOG.”

“It's funny, when you're a child you think time will never go by, but when you hit about twenty, time passes like you're on the fast train to Memphis. I guess life just slips up on everybody. It sure did on me.”

“Every time they have somebody born in the movies, it is a little boy. They never have little girls being born. What makes boys so great and woooonnnderfullll? I can do anything a boy can do”

“I thought I was going to die right there on the spot. I've never heard anything so terrible in my whole life. I hope she is wrong and I never get a period. I am eleven years old and entirely too young to hear about it. Can you imagine my mother not knowing what Kotex are for and dusting the house with them? Well, her mother can just tell her what they are for. I'm not getting into the facts of life. I haven't heard one fact of life I like yet.”

“I love your stories. Tell me a story, Idgie. Go on, you old bee charmer. Tell me a good tall tale. Tell me the one about the lake. ~Ruth Jamison”

“Don't give up before the miracle happens.”

“Suddenly being her age seemed great. She didn't have to look perfect. Hooray And think of all the senior discounts she had to look forward to not to mention Social Security Medicare and Medicaid. So what if she was afraid of getting old Big whoopdedoowho wasn't She wasn't alone everybody her age was in the same boat. She was going to relax and just let herself get older. Who cared if she wore twoinch heels instead of 3andahalf inch heels her feet hurt and not only that she was going to have a piec eof cake once in a while and she wasn't going to go anywhere she didn't feel like going anymore either. Bring on the Depends And the bunion pads and the Metamucil. And if she liked pretty music and old movies so what She wasn't hurting anyone. Hazel had always said "If you're still breathing you're ahead of the game." And she'd been right. Life itself was something to look forward to and so for whatever time she had left she was going to enjoy every minute wrinkles and all. What a concept”

“Hazel always used to say There's not enough darkness in the entire universe to snuff out the light of just one little candle.”

“Hazel: Listen babe you have to search for your luck it's nice if it just falls in your lap but I look for my lucky pennies. ... Maggie: What do you do with all your pennies Hazel: I give them away. It's good to spread your luck around and it always comes back to you.”

“ “Anni fa era il più bel lago di Whistle stop. D’estate ci venivamo a nuotare e pescare e ci si poteva anche fare un giro in barca, volendo.” Idgie scosse tristemente la testa. “Sapesse quanto mi manca!”Smokey guardò il prato.“Come mai non c’è più? Si è prosciugato?”Lei accese una sigaretta e glie la porse. “Peggio. Un novembre, un enorme stormo di anatre, almeno una quarantina, andarono a posarsi proprio in mezzo al lago e nel pomeriggio, mentre nuotavano tranquillamente, successe quella cosa strana. La temperatura scese di colpo e l’acqua si ghiacciò. Divenne solida come pietra nel giro di tre secondi. Uno, due, tre. Così”Smokey la guardò stralunato. “Dice sul serio?” “Certo!”“Le anatre saranno morte.”E’ questo il punto. Non morirono, ma volarono via e portarono con sé il lago. E adesso il nostro lago sarà da qualche parte in Gerogia…”Lui si girò a guadarla e, quando capì che stava scherzando, raggrinzì gli occhi celesti e cominciò a ridere così forte che gli venne da tossire e lei dovette dargli una botta sulla schiena. ”

“In her opinion, Alexander Graham Bell and Clarence Birdseye are the two greatest Americans that ever lived excluding Robert E. Lee. She believes we never lost the War Between the States, that General Lee thought General Grant was the butler and just naturally handed him his sword.”

“Claude Pistal is a creep! He is lucky I'm reasonably mild-mannered like Clark Kent.”

“I found out I got ringworm from Felix. If it gets in my head, they will have to shave off my hair. I'll be bald just like Eisenhower, and I am a Democrat.”

“Daddy gave me real useful information to protect me in the real world. If anyone hits me, I'm not to hit them back. I wait until their back is turned, then hit them in the head with a brick.”

“I believe in God, but I don't think you have to go crazy to prove it.”

“Oh it don't make no kind of sense. Big ol' ox like Grady won't sit next to a colored child. But he eats eggs- shoot right outta chicken's ass!”

“You're just a bee charmer, Idgie Threadgoode. That's what you are, a bee charmer.”

“There Lives More Faith in Honest Doubt,Believe Me, Than Half the Creeds. - Alfred, Lord Tennyson”

“Albert and I would spend hours and hours looking at them. Cleo had this big magnifying glass on his desk, and we'd find centipedes and grasshoppers and beetles and potato bugs, ants . . . and put them in a jar and look at them. They have the sweetest little faces and the cutest expressions. After we'd looked at them all we wanted to, we'd put them in the yard and let them go on about their business.”

“People cain't help being what they are any more than a skunk can help being a skunk. Don't you think if they had their choice they would rather be something else? Sure they would. People are just weak.”

“You never know what's in a person's heart until they're tested, do you?”

“It was a stretch to imagine that Barbara Walters might want to give it all up for Ed Couch, but Evelyn tried her hardest. Of course, even though she was not religious, it was a comfort to know that the Bible backed her up in being a doormat.”

“The line between the public life and the private life has been erased, due to the rapid decline of manners and courtesy. There is a certain crudeness and crassness that has suddenly become accepted behavior, even desirable.”

“One gal drank a can of floor wax and topped it off with a cup of Clorox, trying to separate herself from the same world he was in.”

“The ones that hurt the most always say the least.”

“All right, then, I'd die for you. How about that? Don't you think somebody could die for love?”

“He had mourned each of those great trains as, one by one, they were pulled off the lines and left to rust in some yard, like old aristocrats, fading away; antique relics of times gone by.”

“No matter what you look like, there's somebody who's gonna think you're the handsomest man in the world.”

“That's what I'm living on now, honey, dreams, dreams of what I used to do.”

“Lately, it had been an endless procession of long, black nights and gray mornings, when her sense of failure swept over her like a five-hundred-pound wave; and she was scared. But it wasn't death that she feared. She had looked down into that black pit of death and had wanted to jump in, once too often. As a matter of fact, the thought began to appeal to her more and more.She even knew how she would kill herself. It would be with a silver bullet. As round and as smooth as an ice-cold blue martini. She would place the gun in the freezer for a few hours before she did it, so it would feel frosty and cold against her head. She could almost feel the ice-cold bullet shooting through her hot, troubled brain, freezing the pain for good. The sound of the gun blast would be the last sound she would ever hear. And then... nothing. Maybe just the silent sound that a bird might hear, flying in the clean, cool air, high above the earth. The sweet, pure air of freedom.No, it wasn't death she was afraid of. It was this life of hers that was beginning to remind her of that gray intensive care waiting room.”

“You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same.”

“The food in the South is as important as food anywhere because it defines a person's culture.”

“I wonder how many people don't get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to be with.”

“I just know there's an albino living in the colored quarters. I can feel it in my bones.”

“Are you a politician or does lying just run in your family?”

“I knew I wasn't the picture of health, but I didn't think I was headed for the last roundup.”

“So, Doc, will I be able to run the Boston Marathon again this year?”

“Damn, I'm Miss Mississippi!”

“Remember if people talk behind your back, it only means you are two steps ahead.”

“Dena had always been a loner. She did not feel connected to anything. Or anybody. She felt as if everybody else had come into the world with a set of instructions about how to live and someone had forgotten to give them to her. She had no clue what she was supposed to feel, so she had spent her life faking at being a human being, with no idea how other people felt. What was it like to really love someone? To really fit in or belong somewhere? She was quick, and a good mimic, so she learned at an early age to give the impression of a normal, happy girl, but inside she had always been lonely.”

“Face it girls. I'm older and I have more insurance.”

“...The band did a salute to Stephen Foster and played 'Beautiful Dreamer' and we formed a bed. Then we played 'My Old Kentucky Home' while the majorettes slowly pranced like horses. We finished with 'I Dream of Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair', we formed a comb. Miss Philpot is running out of ideas if you ask me.”

“The little girl knew if she bit any member of her family, they would get rabies too, and she died without ever having been petted. I cried so hard Mrs. Underwood had to take me to the school nurse.”

“Grandma Harper has two green bottles shaped like women with black hair painted on their heads and a yellow glass colored captain's hat that she keeps her face powder in that I want too, and a picture of a naked girl in a swing, swinging way up in the air over castles in a blue sky.I don't know why I want those things, I just do.”