Frank Zappa

“I'm vile and perverted. I'm obsessed and deranged.I've existed for years but very little has changed.I'm the tool of the government and industry too.For I'm destined to rule and regulate you.You may think I'm pernicious, but you can't look away.I'll make you think I'm delicious with the stuff that I say.I'm the best you can get... have you guessed me yet?I'm the slime oozing out of your TV set....”

“Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?”

“Music is the only religion that delivers the goods.”

“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.”

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”

“Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.”

“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”

“A true Zen saying: "Nothing is what I want.”

“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.”

“Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.”

“The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.”

“Information is not knowledge.Knowledge is not wisdom.Wisdom is not truth.Truth is not beauty.Beauty is not love.Love is not music.Music is THE BEST.”

“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”

“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”

“Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA)”

“There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.”

“Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.”

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”

“The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.”

“Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.”

“Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.”

“So many books, so little time.”