Gail Carriger

“Alexia abhorred hypocrisy, especially when munitions were involved.”

“Goodness gracious me,' exclaimed Alexia, 'what are you wearing? It looks like the unfortunate progeny of an illicit union between a pair of binoculars and some opera glasses. What on earth are they called, binocticals, spectoculars?”

“I never gossip. I observe. And then relay my observations to practically everyone.”

“These things, regrettably, are bound to occur when one is married and befriended.”

“Ah, Ivy, thought Alexia happily, spreading a verbal fog wherever she goes.”

“So, what do you think, my dear, will it be a girl or a boy?”“It will be a soul-stealer, apparently.”“What!” The earl reared away from his wife and looked down at her suspiciously.”

“It was a constant source of amazement to Alexia that the only thing she had ever done in her entire life that pleased her mama was marry a werewolf.”

“I mean to say, really, I am near to developing a neurosis - is there anyone around who doesn't want to study or kill me?"Floote raised a tentative hand."Ah, yes, thank you, Floote.""There is also Mrs Tunstell, madam," he offered hopefully, is if Ivy were some kind of consolation prize."I notice you don't mention my fair-weather husband.""I suspect, at this moment, madam, he probably wants to kill you."Alexia couldn't help smiling. "Good point.”

“Alexia suspected Lord Maccon's handling was a tad more than was strictly called for under the circumstances, but she secretly enjoyed the sensation. After all, how often did a spinster of her shelf life get manhandled by an earl of Lord Maccon's peerage? She had better take advantage of the situation.”

“The ill-informed masses included her own family among their ranks, a family that specialized in being both inconvenient and asinine.”

“Alexia figured, delightedly, that this meant he did, in fact, tend to traipse around his private apartments in the altogether. Marriage was becoming more and more of an attractive prospect.”

“My dearest girl,' said the vampire finally, examining Lord Maccon with an exhausted but appreciative eye, 'such a banquet. Never been one to favor werewolves myself, but he is very well equipped, now, is he not?'Miss Tarabotti gave him an arch look. 'My goodies,' she warned.Humans,' chuckled the vampire, 'so possessive.”

“I may be a werewolf and Scottish, but despite what you may have read about both, we are not cads!”

“Madame Lefoux shrugged. "I do not know about that, my lady. I mean to say, one's life is one thing; one's technology is an entirely different matter.”

“They decided the mummy would be unwrapped, for the titillation of the ladies, just after dinner.”

“I kissed her," he explained, aggrieved."Mmm, yes, I had the dubious pleasure of witnessing that, ah-hem, overly public occurrence." Lyall sharpened his pen nib, using a small copper blade that ejected from the end of his glassicals."Well! Why hasn't she done anything about it?" the Alpha wanted to know."You mean like whack you upside the noggin with that deadly parasol of hers? I would be cautious in that area if I were you.”

“The voice was low and tinged with a hint of Scotland. It would have caused Alexia to shiver and think primal monkey thoughts about moons and running far and fast, if she'd had a soul. Instead it caused her to sigh in exasperation and sit up.”

“How ghastly for her, people actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.”

“I believe the defining moment was when certain persons, who shall remain nameless, objected to my fuchsia silk striped waistcoat. I loved that waistcoat. I put my foot down, right then and there; I do not mind telling you!" To punctuate his deeply offended feelings, he stamped one silver-and-pearl-decorated high heel firmly. "No one tells me what I can and cannot wear!" He snapped up a lace fan from where it lay on a hall table and fanned himself vigorously with it for emphasis.”

“She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappropriate future moment.”

“No, Lord Maccon was riproaring, tumble down, without a doubt, pickled beyond the gherkin.”

“I am rather fond of ladybugs. They are so delightfully hemispherical.”

“Madame Lefoux accepted a cup of tea and sat on another little settee, next to the relocated calico cat. The cat clearly believed Madame Lefoux was there to provide chin scratches. Madame Lefoux provided.”

“Cats were not, in her experience, an animal with much soul. Prosaic, practical little creatures as a general rule. It would suit her very well to be thought catlike.”

“Ivy waved the wet handkerchief, as much as to say, words cannot possibly articulate my profound distress. Then, because Ivy never settled for meaningful gestures when verbal embellishments could compound the effect, she said, "Words cannot possibly articulate my profound distress.”

“Lord Maccon asked meekly, shifting against her in a manner that ensured she realized the nibbling had affected his outsides just as much as her insides. Alexia was partly shocked, partly intrigued by the idea that as he was naked, she might actually get to see what he looked like. She had seen sketches of the nude male, of course, for purely technical purposes. She was given to wonder if werewolves were anatomically bigger in certain areas.”

“Highland werewolves had a reputation for doing atrocious and highly unwarranted *things*, like wearing smoking jackets to the dinner table.”

“Classic author moment, "Oh dear, did I kill that character or not?”

“Miss Tarabotti was not one of life's milk-water misses--in fact, quite the opposite. Many a gentleman had likened his first meeting with her to downing a very strong cognac when one was expecting to imbibe fruit juice--that is to say, startling and apt to leave one with a distinct burning sensation.”

“Steampunk is...the love child of Hot Topic and a BBC costume drama”

“Stop playing verbal games with me, madam, or I shall go out into that ballroom, find your mother, and bring her here”

“Lyall understood a broken heart, but it could not be allowed to rumple perfectly good shirtwaists.”

“Lord Maccon was built like a brick outhouse, with opinions twice as unmoving and often equally full of crap.”

“His eyes are peculiar. There is nothing in them, like an eclair without the cream filling. It's wrong, lack of cream.”

“I have died and gone to the land of bad novels.”

“You are about as covert as a sledgehammer.”

“I suspect it may be like the difference between a drinker and an alcoholic; the one merely reads books, the other needs books to make it through the day."(Interview with The Booklovers blog, September 2010)”

“He is clearly bookish. I did not follow a single word of their conversation at dinner last night, not one jot of it. He must be bookish.”

“A vampire, like a lady, never reveals his true age.”

“In this particular instance, he stroked her hand fondly. There was no attraction in the movement. "Sweetling," he had once said, "you are at no more risk with me in that regard than you are in danger of me unexpectedly biting you--both being equal impossibilities. In the one case, I do not possess the necessary equipment upon contact, in the other case you do not.”

“He was so very large and so very gruff that he rather terrified her, but he always behaved correctly in public, and there was a lot to be said for a man who sported such well-tailored jackets---even if he did change into a ferocious beast once a month.”