George S. Kaufman

“(Popular singer Eddie Fisher, appearing on This is Show Business, told Kaufman that women refused to date him because he looked so young.) Mr. Fisher, on Mount Wilson there is a telescope that can magnify the most distant stars up to twenty-four times the magnification of any previous telescope. This remarkable instrument was unsurpassed in the world of astronomy until the construction of the Mount Palomar telescope, an even more remarkable instrument of magnification. Owing to advances and improvements in optical technology, it is capable of magnifying the stars to four times the magnification and resolution of the Mount Wilson telescope - Mr. Fisher, if you could somehow put the Mount Wilson telescope inside the Mount Palomar telescope, you still wouldn't be able to detect my interest in your problem.”

“KIRBY: A man can't give up his business.GRANDPA: Why not? You've got all the money you need. You can't take it with you.”

“Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Penny, why don't you write a play about Ism-Mania?Penny Sycamore: Ism-Mania?Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Yeah, sure, you know, Communism, Faschism, Voodoo-ism, everybody's got an -ism these days.Penny Sycamore: Oh[laughs]Penny Sycamore: I thought it was some kind of itch or something.Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Well, it's just as catching. When things go a little bad nowadays, you go out, get yourself an -ism and you're in business. ”

“I didn’t like the play, but than I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up. ”