Greg Behrendt

“So many of us find ourselves saying, “but he was so great!” Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it’s important to remember that they did.”

“Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I’ve gotten older. But now I don’t want to be ‘sort of dating’ someone. I don’t want to be ‘kinda hanging out’ with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved.”

“Hey, Hot Stuff, Can’t wait till you get over that guy you were with. He sounds like a real jerk. Hope it’s soon. You’re way too tasty to be alone for too long. Come find me. I’m out here waiting. Your Future”

“There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.”

“Better than nothing is not good enough for you!”

“If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.”

“An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of 'ruining the friendship.”

“If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing,because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.”

“Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted.”

“I don't know" means "NO!""I don't know" means "I'm too cowardly to tell you the truth because I can't deal with confrontation.""I don't know" means please do the dirty work for me because I don't want to hurt your feelings even more then I already have.”

“Before you look for validation in others, try and find it in yourself”

“...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.”

“Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.”

“It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.”

“Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time”

“People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.”

“..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.”

“He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.”

“I believe in love the verb, not the noun.”

“You are not easily forgotten.”

“Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?”

“A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared.”

“The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.”

“Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges”

“Even with all the mayonnaise in the world, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit.”

“Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.”

“Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.”

“Always be classy. Never be crazy.”

“Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.”

“The only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.”

“If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy.”

“Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?”

“There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.”

“It's an odd thing to think about, but try imagining that your breakup is a disease. If you were told that you had a serious yet curable disease, would you go get hammered on a regular basis? Eat two bags of Oreos? Chain-smoke, pop, pills, get stoned, or fuck around? NO YOU WOULDN'T. You would take great care of yourself and cut all the unhealthy things out of your life. Because you love yourself, and even if you don't right now, WE DO. So put the (insert vice here) and start moving on.”

“Alone also means available for someone outstanding.”

“I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.”

“Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.”

“The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.”

“He doesn’t have to love your CD collection. He doesn’t have to love your shoes. But any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family—especially when they’re great.”

“Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.”

“But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation”

“Don't waste the pretty”

“It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less -- even a vague pathetic facsimile of less -- than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.”

“Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?”

“You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.”

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”

“I'm about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.”

“We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you”

“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.”

“You already have one asshole, you don't need another one”