Greg Hogben

“And, Momma, if there is a separate heaven for gay people,” Danny continued with a smile, “well, you’ll just have to come visit.” He raised his mother’s chin gently with the side of his index finger, forcing her to look at him. “I hear it’s on a rainbow, not a cloud, so at least you’ll get some color.”

“I thought about it for a moment. Should I dress up like a bush and stalk poor, innocent woodland creatures that will be brutally gunned down as they frolic in the glade? Or should I spend more time confined to a room with Danny’s mother? “Okay, we’ll go hunting if it really means that much to you.”

“Let me put it this way: I am not a bad person, so if there is a god I would hope that he would judge me on what I do and who I am, as against someone that does believe but still doesn’t live a good life.”

“Sex with him was mind-blowing. It was a cross between a triple X movie and a Mills and Boon novel.”

“After repeating almost everything I said, I excused my accent and told them that I knew I spoke like I had plums in my mouth. I then had to explain that was a British expression, as their faces read as though I was saying I’d had their brother-in-law’s balls on my tongue.”