Heather Dixon

“Bramble: Your afraid of the King. Admit it.Mr. Bradford: My lady, who isn't?”

“We still have your watch. You can have it back tonight. All you need to do is sneak up after dinner, set the tower, and flee the country. Agreed?”

“Your Most Exalted Majesty, Your Grace, ect., ect.: I don't know what ruddy else I can offer. You won't have a fig to do with my lands or my money or anything, I suppose, of value to anyone else. I suppose that makes you a good father but it certainly makes things rum for me. I haven't anything else to offer, but a sincere heart, one that aches for Bramble, her sweet, plucky spirit, her smart whippish mouth, her heart, and her dear hand. I'm in agony now, hoping that my steward will convince you. If not I think I'll break all the windows in the house and drown myself in a bucket. A most sincere heart- Lord Edward Albert Hemly Haftenravenscher, Esq.”

“I sort of......accidentally....tore it to pieces.And threw it in the fire. Well, he was mine after all.”

“How daintily the butterflyFlits to the spider's laceEntranced by glimm'ring silver stringsEntwined with glist'ning grace.How craftily the spider speaksAnd whispers, 'All is well,'Caresses it with poison'd feetAnd sucks it to a shell”

“It is not a Christmas tree!" said the King, so firmly that all the girls stopped jumping about. "This is a house of mourning. It is nothing more than a tree. I thought it would look nice. Inside. That is all.”

“The King had advertised the old magic tea set, but for some reason, no one wanted sugar teeth that could gouge their eyes out.”

“What are you doing here?” said Azalea, grasping in thebasket behind her for the butter knife. Her hand found ateaspoon. It was better than nothing”

“I say,” he said, smiling his very white smile and pullingher a touch closer. “You don’t look half bad in the sunlight. Itbrings out a perky red in your hair.”“Oh, honestly,” said Azalea, trying to tug her hand awaygently. “Mr. Hyette, please.”“You don’t find me handsome?”“No.”Mr. Hyette’s smile faded.“Now see here,” he said. “You certainly have no right tobe picky. Everyone knows the point of this silly riddle is tofind the future King.”

“One day, my lady." said Mr. Keeper, stepping aside and allowing her to join them, "I should hope I would be fortunate enough to see such a graceful, unearthly curtsy from you again.”

“Before anything," he said as he brought her around to face him, "I want to give you this."Fumbling in his suitcoat, he produced a small package wrapped in brown paper and string, and gave it to Azalea. Curious, she tugged at the strings of the light package until they unkonotted. The paper fell away.It was a silver handkerchief. Supple and soft, just as Mother's had been. In the corner were the ambroidered initials A.K.W.Azalea laughed and cried at once. She threw her arms around Mr. Bradford's neck, wanting to embrace him so deeply she could feel his soul."Yes," she cried, "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!""Well-I-never even said anything," he said.Even so, he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. Azalea pressed her cheek into his collar, rumpling it, and breathing into his cravat. It smelled of fresh linen. She felt Mr. Bradford's cheek pressing the top of her head. His lips touched her hair.A muffled voice startled them both."When are you going to kiss her?"They pulled away.In the ballroom windows, noses and hands pressed against te glass, were the girls. They stood among the prickly rosebushes, beaming wicked little grins. Delphinium and Eve whispered and giggled to each other;Bramble wore a magnificent grin on her face and a spark of light in her yellow-green eyes.Another figure stood among them.This one had his arms folded across his chest, stiff and firm and formal......Yet he did not look displeased."Those rotten little spies!" said Azalea.”

“You look pretty, as always," he said.Azalea grinned, deciding not to remind him that the last times he had seen her, she had been soaked, frozen, unconscious, and a torn mess of the undead.”

“Ah,Azalea," said the King. "He's not going to be the one proposing."The springs in Azalea's feet went poioioing."Sorry?" she said."You outrank him, you know." The King shifted, uncomfortable. "It would be highly inappropriate for him to propose to you. The Delchastrian queen had to propose-""I will do no such thing!" said Azalea."Azalea," said the King in a firmer tone. "Come now, follow the rules. Besides, it is your chance to have the final say,is it not?""I always have the final say!" said Azalea. "How horrifically unromantic!""Well,do you want me to send him away?""No!Don't do that!”

“A young Captain Bradford is waiting for you in the ballroom.He's spent many hours filling out parliamentary paperwork,as well as a lengthy wait for parliamentary approval,before I would allow him to see you."The full meaning of this sank into Azalea's mind, and she fairly leaped up the stairs,giddy to her center.”

“It is only glass, you know. Nothing fine or grand.Your Mother knew it, when she accepted it with my hand.And she knew I danced as well as a tree. She knew about the politics and duties and responsibilities of marrying into royalty. She knew all those...unfortunate things. Things some people might even call ghastly.”

“What's kissing like?""Mmm-like dancing,actually." Bramble pushed her prridge to Ivy and grinned. "You know, the part after a spin, when the room turns about you. What do you think, Clover?"Clover shook her golden head."I think it more..when the gentleman catches you in his arms, that warm feeling that makes your toes sort of curl."Bramble's face twisted. "No..that's not right. Well, dash it, if we knew more dances-”

“His steward his here,too.""Oh,look, the King's gone out to greet him.""With a gun," said Bramble.Everyone leaned forward."Pistols!" cried Clover. She fled the room."Clover-duels aren't-oh,hang," said Bramble. "She's going to do something rash. Well, at least we can see it from here."Two seconds later, Clover streaked out the entrance hall doors, down the marble stairs, her skirts flying behind her.The gentlemen had a split moment to look up before Clover threw herself onto the King in a scatter of gravel, sobbing as she hung about his neck.The window muffled their voices. Everyone leaned even farther forward.Clover fell to her knees and kissed the hem of the King's coat."Oh,now,let's not go overboard," Bramble muttered.Fairweller removed his coat and set it over Clover's shoulders; the King threw it off and put his own coat over her shoulders.”

“Then to everyone's shock, she pressed her lips full on his."Oh...my," said Clover.No one seemed more surprised than Lord Teddie, who stumbled back under Bramble's assault. He staggered onto the magicked rug.In a blur of red, the rug clapped over them like a red snapdragon.The entire package overbalanced and fell to the ground with a whumpf.No one moved inside the rug. Everyone stared."Sorry," said Eve. "What just happened?"From the rug came a muffled Mmm mmm mmfph."We'd better take them out," said Azalea. "Before they start to digest.”

“We can go without dancing and things a little longer.""Especially since our Great Slipper Scandal quickened the undead and nearly destroyed the palace," said Bramble. "It put us off dancing for at least an hour.”

“It looked like his ponytail had revolted against him," said Bramble.”

“What did Fairweller say? When you delivered the note?""Oh," said Clover, calming a little. "Well...nothing, actually. I sort of...accidentally...tore it to pieces.""Accidentally," Azalea echoed."And threw it into the fire," said Clover."Oh.”

“If your sisters come to your wedding, my lady, it will only be to murder me."Azalea slowly stood."Well at least they will be there.”

“One last dance, my lady, before I am never to see you again?”

“Tell Tutor I won't be to lessons," she said. "Invent some sort of disease.”

“Are you all right?" he said.Water dripped down his face and long nose.He's talking to you! her mind yelled. He's talking to you! Say something clever! Say something clever!Azalea said, "Mffloscoflphus?""The water is rather cold," he said. He pulled her to the bank. Azalea chattered and shivered and coughed, and he continued asking her if she was all right. She wasn't.She was morbidly embarrassed,that's what she was.”

“It would impress him!""Do you think so?" Lord Howley brightened."Oh,yes,he loves it when people tell him how to run the country.”

“Miss Clover," said Minister Fairweller to the Viscount after a long moment, "is not here. She has gone to a speech with her father, in Werttemberg. I could set you up with a carriage, if you'd like."The girls' mouths dropped open. Viscount Duquette did not see."Well!" he said,clicking his heels together. "It is nice to see that someone behaves like a gentleman around here!"The girls found Clover about an hour later, hidinga mong the untrimmed unicorn and lion topiaries, weeping on a stone bench. They flocked to her, wrapped an extra shawl around her shoulders, and told her the story."Werttemberg, though," said Eve. That's two countries away!"Clover wept and laughed at the same time.”

“I can be agreeable," said Fairweller. "If the other party is.""Oh,well," said Bramble. "There goes that, then.”

“I suppose he'll try to court and marry Az. He likes her best.""He arrives at the palace doors, on a fine black horse," Delphinium prompted, picking up Bramble's lost thread, and Eve spun her again, "silver flowers in his hand-""And the King opens the door-" squeaked Flora, who caught Azalea.And then,everyone stopped.Azalea's skirts twisted, then settled. It occurred to all of them what would happen next."And boxes Keeper straight in the face," Azalea finished.Everyone managed to giggle, though it as true. Azalea shook her head, smiling."Well," said Eve as they gathered the sleeping girls up from their cushions. "It would be odd if you married him anyway.""Aye," said Bramble. "Your children would be dsappearing all over the place.”

“So suppose Azalea finds the sugar teeth after all," said Bramble, taking Azalea by the shoulders and spinning her. Azalea rolled her eyes but obliged, and let her feet turn beneath her. A lsight push, and Azalea spun to Delphinium."She breaks them," said Delphinium, catching Azalea and pushing her to Hollyhock in a spin, a ball with skirts."Snap!" said Hollyhock.Azalea flinched. Hollyhock fumbled to spin her to Bramble again."And in a burst of fireworks, he emerges from the passage! Burst!”

“Keeper," Bramble said in a syrupy voice, grinning. "Have you met anyone so blasted handsome?""Hush," said Azalea through her teeth. "He can probably hear you!""And so dashing," said Bramble, though her tone was a touch lower."And so perfect.""I've never seen anyone with such...fingers," said Goldenrod.Everyone paused."Well, yes, his fingers, too," said Bramble.”

“Royal Business; StrictlyFor The Young Gentleman Who Meets the Criteria-A Riddle To Solve:Where the Twelve Princesses of Eathesbury Dance At NightAs Well As Limited Acquaintance With The Princess RoyaleThree Days' Stay In The Royal PalaceWill Be Granted.The Food And Board Will Be Free.Inquiries To Be Sent To His Royal HighnessHarold Wentworth The Eleventh of Eathesbury”

“The sugarteeth aren't down here, let's face it," said Bramble. "They would have attacked one of us by now.They've probably run away.I'd bet a harold they've thrown themselves off the garden bridge to join their beastly comrades.”

“What a rotten shilling punter!" said Bramble, tearing her bread to bits. "I can't believe he stole our things! Especially the watch! We stole that watch first, fair and square!”

“I still have your handkerchief, from the Yuletide.""Raspberries, do you really?"He produced a crumpled, clean handkerchief, and gave it to Azalea. She tried to hand him the watch, but he wouldn't take it."It's still for ransom, is it not?" he said. "I'll collect it when I set the tower again."Azalea smiled, warmth rising to her cheeks. "Well, it has been awfully useful. Thank you, Lord Bradford."He mounted with ease, even with the books, and smiled a crooked smile."Mr. Bradford," he said sheepishly."Mr. Bradford," said Azalea. And now, her cheeks burned. It wasn't unpleasant."Thank you," he said, tipping his hat. "For the pleasant evening.”

“I'm so sorry we've kept this for such a long time," she said, pulling the watch from her skirt pocket. She unfolded Mother's handkerchief from around it, and offered it to Lord Bradford cradled in her hands. "We shouldn't have taken it in the first place."Lord Bradford's eyebrows rose at the offering, and he opened his mouth, then closed it. He lowered his eyes to the books in his hands, then back to Azalea, and he managed a smile."When we first met," he said, "ages ago, you gave me a candy stick. Just like you did now, with your hands like that. Do you remember?"Azalea raised an eyebrow."It happened when my father had just died," he said, quietly. "You came to the graveyard, licking a candy stick. You saw me. You put the stick in my hands, folded my fingers over it, and kissed my fingertips.""That must have been sticky," said Azalea.”

“Bramble had taken another pencil from Delphinium, and Azalea's napkin, and wrote something new.You're afraid of the King. Admit it.Azalea grimaced at her untouched food, burning in humiliation as Lord Bradford took the napkin and read it. This time, he looked to be discreetly writing something back beneath the table.Fairweller blinked at the King for a moment, in which Lord Bradford handed Bramble her napkin. She opened it and turned a rosy pink.My lady, it read,who isn't?Bramble pursed her lips and kicked Lord Bradford beneath the table-hard. His face twitched befre regaining its solemn expression.Azalea buried her face in her hands."All we ask is for you to consider it. That is all," said Fairweller."Oh." Lord Bradford's voice was slightly strangled. "Yes. Thank you."Bramble threw the pencil-smudged napkin onto her plate. "I'm done," she said. "May we go to our room now?”

“We still have your watch.You can have it back tonight.All you need to do is sneak up after dinner, set the tower, and flee the country. Agreed?Azalea burned with embarrassment as Bramble folded the napkin around the pencil and passed it to Lord Bradford with the rolls. Lord Bradford took it and unfolded it in his lap.His dark eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. Then he folded the napkin and placed it under his plate. Bramble's yellow-green eyes narrowed.”

“The Harold Herald, alive with news of the war, even printed an extra edition the next day, and among the news of the front page, the girls discovered that Minister Fairweller had been wounded. Clover, so tenderhearted, cried. "Oh,he's probably all right," said Bramble. "It would take a lot to kill him. Like garlic and a stake through the heart."Clover still cried. That was Clover for you.”

“It had ended with a battle; Azalea raked the front page, and then the one's after, searching for any familiar names among the wounded."Anyone we know?" said Bramble. "Anyone...at all?""No," said Azalea, relief sweeping over her. "No."Everyone exhaled."Not that we cared, naturally," said Bramble."Naturally," said Delphinium."I mean, I certainly don't.""Neither do I.”

“It's just a guess," said Bramble after a moment, "but I don't think he's in the mood to see us.”

“They had lost two weeks of dance lessons over that Great Rosebush and Snowball Scandal.”

“Lord Teddie?" she said. "Will you stay for tea?""Rather!" said the carpet.”

“Honestly, we don't kick or bite or throw potatoes at all our guests."A crooked smile touched Lord Bradford's lips."Your family has spirit," he said, taking his hat from Azalea. "I enjoyed the evening.""Well, yes, you've just come from a war," said Azalea.”

“She looked at him, his soft brown eyes and tall form, and contemplated raising herself on her toes and kissing his ear, or his cheek...Instead, impulsively before leaving, she reached up and smoothed his mussed hair.Mr. Bradford beamed.”

“Don't step on the rug. It's a bit ... peckish."...In a billow of skirts, Bramble leaped. It was a grand jeté worthy of the Delchastrian prima ballerina. She landed right on Lord Teddie, who had no choice but to catch her, and threw her arms around his neck. Then, to everyone's shock, she pressed her lips full on his."Oh ... my," said Clover.No one seemed more surprised than Lord Teddie, who stumbled back under Bramble's assault. He staggered onto the magicked rug. In a blur of red, the rug clapped over them like a red snapdragon.The entire package overbalanced and fell to the ground with a whumpf.No one moved inside the rug. Everyone stared."Sorry," said Eve. "What just happened?"From the rug came a muffled Mmm mmm mmfph."We'd better take them out," said Azalea. "Before they start to digest.”

“I will tell you about the lady I loved."The girls settled together on the entrance steps, not even breathing, for fear it would rustle the rosebushes about them and mask Mr. Keeper's words. Mr. Keeper stood unmoving on the dance floor."Once upon a time," he said. His voice dripped in silk strands. "There was a High King, who wanted more than anything to kill the Captain General who incited a rebellion against him. It consumed him. The desire to kill the Captain General filled him to his core, and he spent every breath, every step, thinking of ways to murder the Captain General."But he was old, and time passed, as it always does."Mr. Keeper paused. Bramble cast a slightly bemused glance at Azalea, her eyebrow arched."So," Mr. Keeper continued, "he took an oath. He filled a wine flute to the brim with blood. And he swore, on that blood, to kill the Wentworth General, and that he would not die until he did."And then, he drank it."The end."There was a very ugly, naked silence after that. The girls' mouths gaped in perfect Os."Sorry?" said Delphinium. "I missed the part about the lady?""Ah," said Mr. Keeper. "The blood. It was hers.”

“It had been two weeks since they had last danced, and Azalea lay in bed, awake again. A dream hadn't roused her this time, but rather an odd tinny noise that had been clinking across the wooden floor of their room, under their beds and butting against the wainscot with a clinkety tap-tap. It sounded like ... well, quite honestly, it sounded like a spider dragging a spoon.Azalea knew it couldn't possibly be that (or, rather, she hoped it wasn't), but even so, she heaved herself from the bed and grasped one of Hollyhock's boots, strewn across the floor. The tapping now clinked from the fireplace, and Azalea caught a glint of silver among the soot. Raising the boot, she tiptoed to the unlit hearth.The fireplace in their room was massive - so large that Azalea could stand up in it and her skirts wouldn't brush the sides. The silver hopped. Azalea dove.In a puff of soot, Azalea found herself sitting in the hearth, and the silver bit skittering away like mad. Azalea grabbed at it and was rewarded with a very sharp, very familiar bite."You!" Azalea seethed, leaping up. Now she recognized the half-hopping half-skitter motion. The sugar teeth!”

“A teakettle screamed inside Azalea, burning her fingers, making her throat tight and her head dizzy.”

“When the High King was killed - first poisoned, several times, then shot with pistols, then his head cut off, then burned in the great palace fire ... no one really liked to talk about it ...”