Homer Simpson

“I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees”

“But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.”

“America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!”

“Batman's a scientist.”

“Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.”