Ian McEwan

“Bitte keine magischen Zwergentrommler mehr', flehte er sie in einem Brief an, nachdem er seine Tirade abgelassen hatte. 'Keine Gespenster, Engel, Teufel oder Verwandlungen mehr. Wenn alles passieren kann, ist alles gleichgültig. Für mich ist das nichts als Kitsch.' / 'Du Dussel', tadelte sie ihn auf einer Postkarte, 'Du Erbsenzähler. Das ist Literatur, keine Physik!”

“Auch dies ein vertrautes Element - das Grauen, das er nicht sehen kann. Aus sicherer Entfernung beobachtete Katastrophen. Dem vielfachen Tod zuschauen, aber niemanden sterben sehen. Kein Blut, keine Schreie, überhaupt keine menschlichen Gestalten, nur die willfährige, in die Leere entlassene Phantasie.”

“All that's really required is that anything the state does in relation to the arts is laid on the table where we can see it.”

“I turned the pages so fast. And I suppose I was, in my mindless way, looking for a something, version of myself, a heroine I could slip inside as one might a pair of favourite shoes.”

“I was the basest of readers. All I wanted was my own world, and myself in it, given back to me in artful shapes and accessible form.”

“Daylight seemed then to be the physical manifestation of common sense.”

“At best he read popular science magazines like the Scientific American he had now, to keep himself up-to-date, in layman's terms, with physics generally. But even then his concentration was marred, for a lifetime's habit made him inconveniently watchful for his own name. He saw it as if in bold. It could leap out at him from an unread double page of small print, and sometimes he could sense it coming before the page turn.”

“Self-consciousness is the destroyer of erotic joy.”

“Here were the luxury and priviledge of the well-fed man scoffing at all hopes and progress for the rest. [He] owed nothing to a world that nurtured him kindly, liberally educated him for free, sent him to no wars, brought him to manhood without scary rituals or famine or fear of vengeful gods, embraced him with a handsome pension in his twenties and placed no limits on his freedom of expression. This was an easy nihilism that never doubted that all we had made was rotten, never thought to pose alternatives, never derived hope from friendship, love, free markets, industry, technology, trade, and all the arts and sciences.”

“I squeezed her hand and said nothing. I knew little about Keats or his poetry, but I thought it possible that in his hopeless situation he would not have wanted to write precisely because he loved her so much. Lately I'd had the idea that Clarissa's interest in these hypothetical letters had something to do with our own situation, and with her conviction that love that did not find its expression in a letter was not perfect. In the months after we'd met, and before we'd bought the apartment, she had written me some beauties, passionately abstract in the ways our love was different from and superior to any that had ever existed. Perhaps that's the essence of a love letter, to celebrate the unique. I had tried to match her, but all that sincerity would permit me were the facts, and they seemed miraculous enough to me: a beautiful woman loved and wanted to be loved by a large, clumsy, balding fellow who could hardly believe his luck.”

“We have many shelves of poetry at home, but still, it takes an effort to step out of the daily narrative of existence, draw that neglected cloak of stillness around you — and concentrate, if only for three or four minutes. Perhaps the greatest reading pleasure has an element of self-annihilation. To be so engrossed that you barely know you exist.”

“De az élet- minden élet- jelentéktelennek tetszett annak fényében, hogy milyen gyorsan, milyen könnyedén összecsomagolható, szétszórható vagy kidobható egy egész élet minden cókmókja, minden apró részlete. Limlommá silányulnak a tárgyak, amint különválnak tulajdonosuktól és múltjuktól-[...]Miközben kiürültek a polcok, a fiókok, és teltek a dobozok meg a zacskók, Henry rájött, hogy igazából senki sem birtokol semmit. Mindent csak bérlünk vagy kölcsönveszünk. Ingóságaink túlélnek minket, mi hagyjuk el őket a legvégén.”

“The conversation had turned again to those moments, by now enriched by a private mythology, when they first set eyes on each other”

“Me pregunta usted qué hice cuando vi a aquella chica. Bueno, pues se lo diré. ¿Ve usted ese armario de ahí, que llena casi toda la habitación? Vine corriendo hasta aquí, me metí dentro y me hice una paja. No vaya a creer que me la hice pensando en la chica. No, no podría soportarlo. Retrocedí en mis recuerdos hasta que medía tres pies de altura. Eso me hizo terminar antes. Veo que piensa que soy sucio y retorcido. Pues después me lavé las manos, cosa que no todos hacen.”

“A szülői lét és a modern genetika nagy közhelye, hogy a szülőknek alig van befolyásuk gyermekeik jellemére, vagy nincs is. Sosem tudhatja az ember, kivé lesznek. Lehetőségek, egészség, jövőbeni kilátások, beszédmodor, illemtudás- ezek alakítására lehet módjuk a szülőknek. De hogy miféle ember él majd velük egy fedél alatt, az azon múlik, melyik spermium talál rá melyik petesejtre, két pakli kártyából mely kártyákra esik a választás, hogyan lesznek megkeverve, megemelve és összepárosítva az új kombináció pillanatában. Jó kedélyű vagy neorotikus, nagylelkű vagy mohó, kíváncsi vagy unalmas, közlékeny vagy félénk, vagy bármi egyéb a kettő között;”

“Csakhogy egy ilyen város mindig kitermeli az álmatlanjait; maga is álmatlan szerveződés, örökké éneklő vezetékekkel; sok millió lakója között mindig akadnak olyanok, akik kifelé bámulnak az ablakon; nem pedig alszanak, mint szoktak. És minden éjjel mások. Hogy most éppen ő, és nem más, az merő véletlen.”

“Míg az utasok többségéhez hasonlóan a légi utazás egyhangúságának látszólag megadva magát engedelmesen leszíjazva ül az előre csomagolt étel előtt, gyakran engedi szabadjára eshetőségek között kalandozó gondolatait. Odakint, tizenkétezer méterrel a föld fölött, a vékony acélfalon és a vidáman recsegő műanyagon túl mínusz hatvan fok van. Míg másodpercenként százötven méteres sebességgel süvít az ember az Atlanti-óceán fölött, azért hódol be a könnyelműségnek, mert mindenki ezt teszi. Utastársaink azért nyugodtak, mert körülöttük mindenki más nyugodtnak látszik, és ez ránk is érvényes. Ha abból a szemszögből nézzük, hogy hány halál jut egy utaskilométerre, akkor biztató a statisztika. És mi más módon vegyen részt az ember egy dél-kaliforniai konferencián? Értéktőzsde a légi utazás, egymásban tükröződő észlelések csalóka trükkje, a közös alapba gyűjtött hit törékeny szövetsége; amíg kitartanak az idegek, és nincs bomba vagy merénylő a fedélzeten, addig mindenki virul. De ha baj van, nincsenek félmegoldások. Ha tehát, más szemszögből nézzük- hány halál jut egy utazásra-, akkor már nem olyan biztatóak a számok.”

“Hol kényelmes nosztalgiát ébresztett benne az életrajz egy zöldellő, ló vontatta, gyengéd Anglia után, hol nyomasztotta kissé, hogy néhány száz oldalba beleférhet egy egész élet- üvegbe zárva, mint a házi befőtt. Milyen könnyen és maradéktalanul eltűnhet az egyéni lét, a becsvágy, a családi és baráti kapcsolatrendszer, minden, amit dédelget és biztosan magáénak hisz az ember.”

“It's the essence of a degenerating mind periodically, to lose all sense of continuous self, and therefore any regard for what others think of your lack of continuity.”

“He had been walking these roads, he thought, all his life.”

“He would change my life and behave with selfless cruelty as he prepared to set out on a journey with no hope of return.”

“So much for youthful idealism.”

“The Western world may have been undergoing a steady transformation, the young may have thought they had discovered a new way of talking to each other, the old barriers were said to be crumbling from the base. But the famous 'hand on the shoulder' was still applied, perhaps less frequently, perhaps with less pressure.”

“This, as they used to say, was the side on which her bread was buttered.”

“Once, on a walk by a river- Eskdale in low reddish sunlight, with a dusting of snow- his daughter quoted to him an opening verse by her favourite poet. Apparently, not many young women loved Phillip Larkin the way she did. 'If I were to construct a religion/ I should make use of water.' She said she liked the laconic use of 'called in'- as if he would be, as if anyone ever is. They stopped to drink coffee from a flask, and Perowne, tracing a line of lichen with a finger, said that if he ever got the call, he'd make us of evolution. What better creation myth? An unimaginable sweep of time, numberless generations spawning by infinitesimal steps complex living beauty out of inert matter, driven on by the blind furies of random mutation, natural selection and environmental change, with the tragedy of forms continually dying, and lately the wonder of minds emerging and with them morality, love, art, cities- and the unprecedented bonus of this story happening to be demonstrably true.”

“There was, in my view, an unwritten contract with the reader that the writer must honour. No single element of an imagined world or any of its characters should be allowed to dissolve on an authorial whim. The invented had to be as solid and as self-consistent as the actual. This was a contract founded on mutual trust.”

“By degrees, he joins that sorry legion of passive men who abandon their children in order to placate their second wives.”

“And feeling clever, I've always thought, is just a sigh away from being cheerful.”

“My needs were simple I didn't bother much with themes or felicitous phrases and skipped fine descriptions of weather, landscapes and interiors. I wanted characters I could believe in, and I wanted to be made curious about what was to happen to them. Generally, I preferred people to be falling in and out of love, but I didn't mind so much if they tried their hand at something else. It was vulgar to want it, but I liked someone to say 'Marry me' by the end.”

“There wasn't really much else to do. Make something, and die.”

“Un racconto era diretto e semplice, non ammetteva alcuna intrusione tra lei e il lettore - nessun intermediario con le proprie personali ambizioni e incompetenze, nessuna urgenza di tempo, nessun limite alle risorse disponibili. In un racconto bastava desiderare, e poi mettere per iscritto il desiderio, e potevi crearti un mondo; in un dramma invece ti toccava fare con quello che avevi a disposizione: niente cavalli, niente strade di un villaggio, niente mare. Niente sipario. Sembrava talmente ovvio, adeso che era troppo tardi: il racconto era una sorta di telepatia. Attraverso la trascrizione di segni sulla pagina, lei era in grado di trasferire pensieri e sentimenti dalla sua mente a quella del lettore. Era un processo magico, tanto comune che nessuno si soffermava a rifletterci. Leggere una frase coincideva con il comprenderla; come nel caso del gesto di piegare un dito, tra il prima e il dopo non c'era nulla. Non esisteva intervallo che precedesse la comprensione dei segni. Vedevi la parola castello ed eccolo là, in lontananza, circondato da frondosi boschi estivi, immerso nell'aria dolce e azzurrina tagliata dal filo di fumo che sale dalla bottega del fabbro, con una strada di ciottoli che sparisce serpeggiando nell'ombra verde.”

“In Leon's life, or rather, in his account of his life, no one was mean-spirited, no one schemed or lied or betrayed. Everyone was celebrated at least in some degree, as though it was a cause for wonder that anyone existed at all.”

“Not blemishes. Adornments.”

“Love doesn't grow at a steady rate, but advances in surges, bolts, wild leaps, and this was one of those.”

“Perhaps the greatest reading pleasure has an element of self-annihilation. To be so engrossed that you barely know you exist.”

“He was thinking of that time, the way one does on long journeys when rootlessness and boredom, lack of sleep or routine can summon from out of nowhere random stretches of the past, make them as real as a haunting. --Solar”

“Nothing as singular or as important had happened since the day of his birth. She returned his gaze, struck by the sense of her own transformation, and overwhelmed by the beauty in a face which a lifetime's habit had taught her to ignore. She whispered his name with the deliberation of a child trying out the distinct sounds. When he replied with her name, it sounded like a new word - the syllables remained the same, the meaning was different. Finally he spoke the three simple words that no amount of bad art or bad faith can ever quite cheapen. She repeated them, with exactly the same emphasis on the second word, as if she had been the one to say them first. He had no religious belief, but it was impossible not to think of an invisible presence or witness in the room, and that these words spoken aloud were like signatures on an unseen contract”

“That evening he plays with the children, cleans the hamster's cage with them, gets them into their pyjamas, and reads to them three times over, once together, then to Jake on his own, then to Naomi. It is at times like these that his life makes sense. How soothing it is, the scent of clean bedlinen and minty toothpaste breath, and his children's eagerness to hear the adventures of imaginary beings, and how touching, to watch the children's eyes grow heavy as they struggle to hang on to the priceless last minutes of their day, and finally fail.”

“I'm sorry to disappoint you, but my experience belongs to me, not the collective bloody unconscious.”

“I craved a form of naive realism. I paid special attention, I craned my readerly neck whenever a London street I knew was mentioned, or a style of frock, a real public person, even a make of car. Then, I thought, I had a measure, I could guage the quality of the writing by its accuracy, by the extent to which it aligned with my own impressions, or improved upon them. I was fortunate that most English writing of the time was in the form of undemanding social documentary. I wasn't impressed by those writers (they were spread between South and North America) who infiltrated their own pages as part of the cast, determined to remind poor reader that all the characters and even they themselves were pure inventions and the there was a difference between fiction and life. Or, to the contrary, to insist that life was a fiction anyway. Only writers, I thought, were ever in danger of confusing the two.”

“...[W]riting stories not only involved secrecy, it also gave her all the pleasures of miniaturisation. A world could be made in five pages....The childhood of a spoiled prince could be framed within half a page, a moonlit dash through sleepy villages was one rhythmically empathic sentence, falling in love would be achieved in a single word—a glance.”

“...since coming home, her life had stood still and a fine day like this made her impatient, almost desperate.”

“The library door was thick and none of the ordinary sounds that might have reminded them, might have held them back, could reach them. They were beyond the present, outside time, with no memories and no future,”

“Say it again slowly, that thing about the river.”

“Az első gondolatot mindig egy második követi, egyik rejtély szüli a másikat: vajon ugyanannyira élő-e mindenki más, mint ő maga? A nővére például számít-e önmagának, ugyanolyan fontos-e önmaga számára, mint Briony? Ceciliának lenni, az vajon ugyanolyan élettől pezsgő állapot-e, mint Brionynak lenni? Van-e nővérének is hullámtörés mögé rejtett titkos, igazi énje, és tölt-e vele időt, gondolkozik-e rajta, arca elé tartva egyik kinyújtott ujját? Van-e mindenkinek, apját, Bettyt, Hardmant is beleértve? Ha igen, akkor a világ, a társadalmi világ elviselhetetlenül bonyolult, kétmilliárd hang szól benne, és mindenkinek egyformán fontosak a gondolatai, mindenki egyformán ragaszkodhat foggal-körömmel az élethez, miközben egyedülállónak hiszi önmagát, pedig senki sem az. Az ember akár bele is fulladhat a jelentéktelenségbe.”

“I like to think that it isn't weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness, a stand against oblivion and despair, ...”

“She knew enough to recognize that memories were crowding in, and there was nothing he could do. They wouldn’t let him speak. She would never know what scenes were driving that turmoil.”

“She was like a bride-to-be who begins to feel her sickening qualms as the day approaches, and dares not speak her mind because so many preparations have been made on her behalf the happiness and convenience of so many good people would be put at risk.”

“He saw it for the first time: on the day he died he would be wearing unmatching socks, there would be unanswered e-mails, and in the hovel he called home there would still be shirts missing cuff buttons, a malfunctioning light in the hall, and unpaid bills, uncleared attics, dead flies, friends waiting for a reply and lovers he had not owned up to.”

“He was supposed to be reading, but all he could do was watch her and love her bare arms, her Alice band, her straight back, the sweet tilt of her chin as she tucked the instrument under it...”