Jason Z. Christie

“Never in his unlimited lifespan had he ever allowed anyone to call him anything but President Gorlax. Even when he was a fledgling, and not even a president. The other kids hated him for it. He had them killed.”

“Vreal filed away digital copies in triplicate, four analog copies, threw two copies away, shredded one, and finally, ate another. He was rather compulsive.”

“Got any new ways to torture and kill people?”“Hmmm,” said the voice. “Did you try stabbing them?”“Of course. That’s one oh one stuff.”“Shooting?’“With extreme prejudice.”“Burning?”“Yes.”“Strangling?”“Naturally, I mean, I strangle people while I’m sleeping, even.”“Crushing?’“Sure.”“Mangling?”“All the time.”“Hmmmm. Can we think aboutthis?”

“On Gortician, a promotion was survival. Firings were literal. You were incinerated, and your successor’s first job was sweeping your ashes up for Ned’s AtomicDustbin, Gortician’s recycle center.”