Jeaniene Frost

“Trying to wake you,” Bones answered crisply. “I cut you, threw water on you, slapped you, and set a lighter to your legs. For future reference, which oneof those do you think worked?”“Good God,” I hissed. “No wonder I thought you were Death incarnate in my dream, and that made me run toward Gregor at first!”

“Odd that I couldn’t catch any of your dream,” Bones went on. “Normally your dreams are like background music to me.”

“....called to give you the good news. I asked our daughter to marry me and she accepted. Congratulations, I will officially your son-in-law. Now, do you want me to call you zmum straightaway, or wait until after the wedding?" I lew through the ir in a dive tht finally tackled him, wrenching the phone away. Bones was laughing so hard he had to breathe to get it all out. "Mom? Are you there? Mom.....?" "You might want to give her a moment, Kitten. I believe she fainted.”

“I missed you, Kitten,” he growled. Then his mouth crushed over mine, his kiss more filled with raw need than romantic welcome. That was fine; I felt the same way. Aside from my compulsive urge to run my hands over him to assure myself that he was really here, relief, happiness, and the most profound feeling of rightness zoomed through me, settling all the way to my core. I hadn’t realized how deeply I’d missed Bones until that very moment, hadn’t let myself acknowledge how everything felt off when I was apart from him. On some levels, it was frightening how much a part of me he’d become. It let me know just how much I’d crumble if anything happened to him. “Why didn’t you answer your mobile earlier?” Bones murmured once he lifted his head. “I tried you several times. Tried Mencheres, too. Even Tepesh. None of you answered. Scared the wits out of me, so I stowed away on a FedEx plane to make sure you were all right.” “You came all the way from Ohio because I didn’t answer the phone?” I was torn between laughter and disbelief. “God, Bones, that’s a little crazy.” And it was, except the part of me that had had images of his tombstone dancing in my head because he hadn’t answered his phone earlier was nodding in complete understanding. Despite all our protestations, we were so alike when it came to fear over the other’s safety, and I doubted we’d ever change. “Crazy,” I repeated, my voice roughening with the surge of emotion in me. “And have I told you lately. that your crazy side . . . is your sexiest side?” He chuckled before his mouth swooped back over mine in another dizzying kiss. Then he picked me up, brushing past Vlad and Mencheres without even a hello, though I doubted either of them was surprised.”

“Oh, I have feelings for him, all right. I'd like to put him in the ground myself, believe me. Still, it would be wrong. Promise me." "Fine. I promise I won't kill him."He said it too easily. My eyes narrowed. "Promise me right here and now that you will also never cripple, maim, dismember, blind, torture, bleed, or otherwise inflict any injury to Danny Milton. Or otherwise stand by while someone else does as you watch." "Blimey, that's not fair!" he protested”

“All hail the dragon slayer!" (Bones)”

“I thought Bones looked like a little slice of heaven, but you're the whole cake, aren't you, sugar?”

“She might not know what your routine is, but I do,” I said softly. “So put the lantern down. You’re not burning me yet, and we both know it.”“What’s she saying?” Sarah demanded, hobbling over. His white brows drew together, and I allowed a little smile to play on my lips. “Awfully bossy with you, isn’t she? Then again, it makes sense. She’s got the pants on, and you’re the one in the dress.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve faced death, and I don’t intend for it to be the last,” I said, repeating the same words he’d told me before fighting in that fateful duel. “I’ve chosen to live a dangerous life, but it’s who I am, and that wouldn’t change even if we’d never met.”

“Swear, that woman’s got a mouth on her worse than you do,” Tyler commented, following in after Bones. “Ian gave her the tiniest smack on the rear when she walked by, and she told him to—”“Ian smacked my mother on the ass?” I cut him off. At Tyler’s nod, I stopped lighting sage and grabbed a silver knife, feeling my fangs pop out of their own accord. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

“Isn’t he gorgeous?” With those rolls, the wet-sounding grunts, bulbous wiggly tail, and smashed face—not to mention the fart the dog let out once he situated himself—he was gorgeous in a way that only a parent could appreciate.”

“That’s right, honey, state your claim on Mr. Yummy Pants. I’d do the same if I were you.”A grin ticked at my mouth. I swept my gaze over the muscled roundness of Bones’s ass, which his black jeans only highlighted. Then I gazed at the snug fit of the front that had nothing to do with the cut of the denim. Finally, I met Tyler’s chocolate-colored eyes and winked back.”

“But it's daylight," she said at last. "Vampires can't go out in the sun, everyone knows that!"Bones chuckled. "Right And we shrink back from crosses, can't travel over water, and always get staked in the end by the righteous slayer. Really, who'd be afraid of a creature like that? All you'd need is a Bible, a tanning bed, and some holy water to send us shivering to our dooms.”

“I’ve watched you barely escape death several times, and each instance killed me a little inside. They may be dormant now, but we have enemies both cunning and cruel. Knowing you possess the power to defeat most of them doesn’t threaten me, luv. It relieves me to my very core.”

“You don’t know where west is?” Sarah asked with disbelief.I wasn’t going to drop her to the ground. I was going to throw her. “Do I look like I have a compass on me?”Sarah waved a hand at the sky. “Can’t you use the stars to navigate?”“I ’m twenty-nine years old, not two hundred and twenty-nine. I navigate by GPS, MapQuest, or TomTom. Not the fucking stars, ’k?”

“Since you and Crispin are now finished and I have a few hours to kill, how about that shag?” he asked with heavy irony.“Bite me,” I sighed, gathering up the pages.He winked. “Of course. My second-favorite thing to do in bed.”

“You messed with the wrong white girl, motherfucker!” Tyler shouted.”

“Your mum pounced on her and started sucking away. Would’ve been arousing if not for all the screaming.”“Ian,” Bones drew out warningly.He grinned. “You’re right. I was aroused anyway.”

“Bitch, you are SO lucky you didn’t try to eat my dog.”

“There were words for what he meant to me, but if I studied every language ever spoken for the next thousand years, I still wouldn’t find enough of them to describe it.”

“Brilliant landing.. We´re trying to keep a low profile, and here you´ve gone and made it look like a meteorite hit.”

“Just call me an equal opportunity ass-kicker.”

“I couldn't help shaking my head as I looked at him. Ian slept like a baby every morning - well, a baby who continually kept one hand down his pants.”

“Think anything like that at her again, and I'll kill you here and now."Madigan's scoff was uneasy. "Any attack on me -""Is the same as an attack on the United States itself," Bones finished, still in that deadly calm manner. "Heard you the first time - and didn't give a shite then, either.”

“Tell me, Kitten.” That deep, smooth voice brushed over me like a physical caress. “Shall I leave now, or wait until later?”

“It was official. I now wanted to murder a ghost, a notion I'd discarded as unlikely only twenty minutes before. (Cat)”

“That face. That body. And you know he’s packing. Look at the angle on that dangle.”

“You're shagging a woman who can turn into a dragon? Blast you, Charles, I am sick with envy!”

“Sorry. My friends didn't mention certain....details about you and you just wouldn't believe how nutty some people are. Just last week, I had a woman convinced her trailer was haunted by Tupac, as if he'd want to spend eternity in a double wide that smelled like cat piss.”

“Will the real Red Reaper please stand up?”

“Mencheres. Bones co-ruler, grandsire, Master vampire of incredible power, and the ally who unnerved me the most, had telekinetically held me down so Bones could boink me into submission enroute to the vampire holding cell? Sweet holy Jesus, let me have hallucinated hearing that!”

“Maybe some hidden, fragmented part of me had feared that if I admitted to Bones how much he truly meant to me, then I'd be acknowledging to myself that he had the power to destroy me more thoroughly than anyone, even Apollyon or the vampire council, could. All the rest of the world could only kill or devastate my mind and body. Bones alone held the power to demolish my soul.”

“Don't you even think of poltergeisting my panties again," I warned him, adding in a louder voice. "That goes for everyone else here, too.""This is the sod?" Bones started down the porch stairs even as Winston began to edge away. "Come back here, you scurvy little--""Bones, don't!" I interrupted, not wanting him to start using slurs that might offend the other living-inpaireds gathered here.He stopped, giving a last glare to Winston while mouthing, You. Me. Exorcist, before returning to my side.”

“Bones glanced behind me, with just the barest inclination of his head. I walked away from him, muttering, "Don't worry, you don't need to have Mencheres break out the invisible straitjacket again. I haven't gone crazy. I just didn't understand until now."He still looked like he was debating having Mencheres lay the power whammy on me, so I sat down by Kira in a very deliberate manner, folding my hands in my lap. There. Didn't I look calm and sane?”

“Maybe it was a good thing that Bones was putting Don's remains away instead of me. With my current emotional state, I'd probably think the only safe place for his ashes was tucked inside my clothes next to the garlic and weed.”

“We now know I can do it, but I feel like hell," I went on. "I'm so cold, my teeth would chatter if they still could. And I'm hungry enough that both of you are starting to looking really, really good."Vlad's lips curled. "Is this the part where I'm supposed to remind you that this is just the leftover power talking and you don't really want to cheat on Hones?""Not that kind of hungry!" I gasped, eyes bulging that Vlad thought I'd just casually thrown out that I wanted him and Mencheres to double-team me. "I meant hungry like drinking you guys' blood. Not hungry for... you know."Without thought, my gaze flew to the areas in question before skipping away once I realized what I was doing. Then my cheeks actually tingled with mortification as Vlad let out a long, hearty laugh. Mencheres, more courteous, pretended to suddenly find something fascinating in the door frame, but I saw his lips twitch."My dear Reaper," Vlad said, still laughing. "Did you just check out our--""No!" I interrupted at once, almost lunging toward the staircase. "I'm tired and still dazed from the Remnants and... fuck it, I'm taking a shower. I mean, not a cold shower, because I don't need that"--Oh Jesus, I was only making this worse--"because I am cold already, and I need to get hot. I mean, warmer. Oh, just shut up!”

“All the rest of the world could only kill or devastate my mind and body. Bones alone held the power to demolish my soul.”

“Drive-ins," Vlad said, his lip curling in a way that said he hadn't been a fan of them even when they were popular. "I suppose that's better than a regular theater. Less people at drive-ins, and if they're anything like I remember, most of the humans there won't be concentrating on anything but fornicating anyway."His disdainful tone almost made me laugh. Who knew the reputated scourge of the underworld looked down his nose at drive-in nookie?"Not everyone had their own castle to go back to when they were young and horny," I said, my lips twitching.The look he threw me was more than cynical. "My youth was spent in constant war, not the pursuit of tender seductions.”

“BONES: “I want you to promise me something. Promise me you’re not going to start running again.”CAT: “No, I’m too tired to run, and you’re too fast. You’d only catch me.”BONES: “That’s right, luv. If you run from me, I’ll chase you. And I’ll find you.”

“Bastard hits harder than a fucking freight train."I just smiled. "I know.”

“Maybe I was worrying for nothing. Maybe it had just been casual for him, and I wouldn't even have to tell him it couldn't happen again. After all, the man was a couple hundred years older than me and a former gigolo. I certainly hadn't robbed him of his virginity.”

“Bones just stared. "You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!”

“The last thing that you need to fret about is my feeling emasculated, Kitten; but talk is cheap, so I'll be sure to show you later." ~Bones”

“He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself.”

“You arrogant...” thrust through the stomach of a snapping zombie, twisting and using all my strength to cleave him in half “... over published...” wasn't going to work, it clawed at the blade, and my God, these things were tough, “...showy old bat...” Crack! There went my head into the wall. If I didn't have a split skull, I'd be amazed. “What are you waiting for? Aren't you the king of all bogeymen? The legend children fear will devour them if they don't behave?”“Come on, Vlad, live up to your reputation! If you can't burn to death one Egyptian vampire chained to a wall, how did you ever drive the Turks from Romania?”“You did it!”“Of course, I'm Vlad Tepesh, what did you expect?”

“Two Leilas seemed to be battling it out inside me. The first was outraged that he still considered it a fait accompli that I'd give in to him, and the second...that slutty bitch was wondering what Vlad looked like naked.”

“I seized on the change of topic. "These gloves are specialized rubber. They block the current."Gretchen's gaze traveled over Vlad, disbelief still stamped on her features. "Yeah, but how do you two do anything else, unless he has a special, current-repelling glove for his ---""Gretchen!" my father cut her off.My cheeks felt hot. Don't say a word, I thought to Vlad, seeing his chest tremble with suppressed laughter.”

“I will never stop loving you. No one can change that. No matter what happens later, I’ll still love you.”

“He muttered something foul and then climbed the stairs, rapping twice on Timmie’s door.“Right, then, mate, terribly sorry for my unspeakable rudeness, and I do beg your pardon,”he said with admirable humbleness when Timmie cracked it open. Only I could pick up theslight edge to his voice as he went on. “I can only say that it was caused by my naturalaffront to the notion of her as my sister. Since I’ll be shagging her tonight, you canimagine how I’d be distressed at the thought of rogering my sibling.”“You schmuck!” I burst as Timmie’s jaw dropped. “The only thing you’ll be shaggingtonight is yourself!”“You wanted sincerity,” he countered. “Well, luv, I was sincere.”

“After further introductions were made, we settled in the family room. Yes, the living room would have been nicer, but I wanted comfortable surroundings while plotting to murder one famed historical figure with another one.~Cat”