Jeaniene Frost

“A hint of a frown touched his mouth. “I told you that wasn’t about feeding.”“No, it was about you making your point.” I skewered a bite and chewed. “Next time, maybe use something other than myjugular as your Exhibit A?”

“See, Don, I have this question, and I hope you’ll be honest with me.”He pulled at the end of his eyebrow. “I think you know you can count on my honesty.”“Can I?” I asked with an edge. “All right, then tell me: How long have you been fucking me?”That caused him to stop tugging his brow. “I don’t know what you’re saying—”“Because if I was going to fuck you,” I interrupted, “I’d get a bottle of gin, some Frank Sinatra music…and a crash cart for the heart attack you’d have. But you, Don, you’ve been fucking me for years now, and I haven’t gotten any liquor, music, flowers,candy, or anything!”

“I'm half Sicilian and half African. Both sides believe in retribution. The only pussy here is yours, Commander.”

“but you men... you're all alike. Alive, dead, undead- all perverts! I had a drunken pervert in my pants! Do you know how unsanitary that is?""What are you saying?""Winston poltergeisted my panties, that's what!""Why, you scurvy, lecherous spook! If my pipes still worked, I'd go right back there and piss on your grave!”

“How about I let you floss with my jugular as well?”

“The sheer splendor of the sight made my chest tighten and tears sting my eyes. All the darkness lately made it easy to forget the world contained more than people trying to hurt other people. It had beauty, too, if you knew where to look--and remembered to open your eyes.”

“But the main point is that he still had swimmers in his sacks.”“Excuse me?”“You know, luv. Sperm, if you want to be all technical about it. He still had living sperm in his juice."Cat and Bones”

“Guess the honeymoon is over!" Denise muttered once we are outside. "Next I suppose I'll be sleeping in the wet spot..”

“That’s right, you nasty little vixen, bite me harder." Ian urged.”

“I heard the car door shut and then Fabian's voice. "You won't believe what I found around the edge of your property," the ghost announced. "A cave with prehistoric painting inside it!" I rolled my eyes. That was the best tactic Fabian could come up with? This was a vampire he was trying to stall, not a paleontologist.”

“I don't care what you think, your junk does not have special abilities.”

“What a real bitch, Catherine. You should kill her.”

“You don't have body parts there do you?" my mother interrupted. "I don't want to open the fridge and find a head on the shelf" Rodney laughed. "No Justina, it doesn't look like Jeffrey Dahmer's hideaway.”

“Now that was informative" were her first words. "Catherine, you never told me that no matter how many times you sliced something off a vampire, it grew back" Charming, "Guess I don't have to ask if you had a nice time.”

“You're right. Everyone in this room with a pulse is starting to smell really good. Okay. Back in the box, better safe than sorry.”

“Tate grabbed me, hugging me so hard, I knew I'd have bruises. He was probably unaware of it, not having had much time to get used to his new strength. I pushed at him, "Tate...you're squeezing me too hard." He let go of me so fast I almost staggered. "Oh Christ, I can't do anything right!”

“Rodney set a plate in front of me and one in front of my mother. I almost fainted when she began to eat instead of hurling it at him. Had one of the vampires gotten tired of her bitching and bitten her into a better mood? She caught my flabbergasted look. "I watched what he put in it" she said defensively. Rodney, instead of being insulted, just laughed. "You're welcome, Justina.”

“Catherine" she paused. I waited, tapping my finger on my desk. Then she spoke words that had me almost falling out of my chair. "I've decided to come to your wedding." I actually glanced at my phone again to see if I'd been mistaken and it was someone else who'd called me. "Are you drunk?" I got out when I could speak. She signed. "I wish you wouldn't marry that vampire, but I'm tired of him coming between us." Aliens replaced her with a pod person, I found myself thinking. That's the only explanation”

“I think I speak for everyone when I say hell no, I'm staying”

“Kitten, you still haven’t told her? Blimey, whatare you waiting for?”“The Second Coming of Christ!” I snapped.”

“Bones,” I sighed. “Know something? I’m not afraid of you, but you scareme….” His outline blurred again.“You scare me, too, Kitten,” he might have replied, but I couldn’t be sure.”

“Not for a minute did I believe that this wasn’t goodbye. Still, I had loved and been loved in return, and there was nothing greater than that. It far outweighed the alienation of all the previous years.Bones thought five months was too short; I was amazed I’d been granted joy for so long.“I love you,” he moaned, or maybe I said it. I couldn’t tell the difference anymore. The lines haddissolved between us.”

“You once told me you could stand many things.” My voice was raspy from all the emotions battering against those well-honed inner defenses.“So can I. I can stand whatever Apollyon dishes out, can take the bigotry from others over what I am, the freaky ghost juju from Marie, all thecraziness my mother can throw at me, and even the pain of my uncle dying. But the one thing that I would never, ever recover from would be losingyou. You made me promise before to go on if that happened, but Bones”—here my words broke and tears spilled down my cheeks—“I wouldn’twant to.”He’d been near the side of the bed when I started talking, but was in my arms before the first tear fell. Very softly, his lips brushed over those wetstreaks, coming back pink from the drops still shimmering on them.“No matter what happens, you will never lose me,” he whispered. “I am forever yours, Kitten, in this life or the next.”

“Yeah, isn’t it? Life’s a bitch and then one stabs you.”

“He's only being polite. You should look the word up," Denise settled on.Ian snorted. "And angels fly out of my arse when I fart."First Drop of Crimson by Jeaniene FrostPage 78”

“Then, when people saw you strolling around at high noon holding your rosary beads, they’d think, ‘Well, that can’t be a vampire.”

“He'll learn that many women can satisfy for a short period of time, but when he falls in love, only one will sustain him forever.”

“It hasn't escaped my notice that you only compliment me when you're intoxicated.”

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself, running around, not married, staying out all night. Ashamed!" "Ashamed!" my grandmother echoed. Good to know they still agreed on things after forty-three years of marriage.”

“Don't fret, Grannie. We're going to a Bible retreat to scare the devil out of her”

“Nice to meet you, mate, and here's some advice: Don't even think about it. You try anything with her and I'll neuter you with my bare hands. ”

“Age had taught him patience. Youth had taught me to get frustrated at the lack of progress.”

“You're my Red Reaper, and I've missed you terribly.”

“Less bitching...more learning.”

“You know, in addition to your mind-reading abilities, I may have absorbed some sluttiness from your blood,”

“Whoever said ignorance was bliss was shortsighted.”

“You know what your problem is, Justina? You're in desperate need of a good shag. "Not that I'm offering you one myself, mind. My days as a whore ended back in the seventeen hundreds." The gin was abruptly sucked back into my lungs as I gasped. He did not just tell my mother about his former profession; sweet Jesus, let me have heard incorrectly!I hadn't, and Bones went right on. "... But I have a friend who owes me a favor and he could be persuaded to... Kitten, are you all right?" I'd stopped breathing as soon as he casually admitted to his prior occupation. Add that to the liquid stuck in my lungs, and no, I wasn't all right.”

“Let me get this straight. you want me to go stomping through a graveyard brandishing a bottle of booze to rouse an unrestful spirit so that I can interrogate him?" - Cat to Bones”

“I don't mind foreigners. God save the queen!" he squeaked and ran.”

“Do it your way, but I suggest another one. You could go ahead and beat her bloody, or…you could give me such loud, screaming orgasms that the sound of them blisters her ears. If you have any former-whore-turned-promiscuous-vampire tricks you’ve been holding back, well, bring them on. I only have one stipulation: You’d better outperform any service you gave to her or anyone else, because if I don’t wake up tomorrow red in the face from embarrassment at what you did to me, I’ll be disappointed.”

“Revenge was the emptiest of emotions. Apparently it motivated people to do the stupidest things as well.”

“Catherine! Get out of my way. I need to have a word with that thing."Since she usually called Bones "filthy animal", I assumed "thing" meant Ian.”

“Between the money and the illegal merchandise, Bones was getting millions. No wonder he laughed at my salary.-Cat”

“Usually my form of turning someone down was shoving a stake through his heart while smirking, Gotcha!”

“Bones. "We have to leave," I said to Vlad. "Now.""'Run, Forrest, run!'" Vlad mocked. ”

“Wrong way, Bones. The men's showers are in the opposite direction."I'll file that away with all the other information that doesn't pertain to me" was Bones' mocking reply.”

“I'd address his way of trying to discourage Ian later. After all, he could have come up with something other than saying I was a whiny, smelly, trumpet-snoring bad lay.”

“Where are you, bloodsuckers? Here, fangy, fangy, fangy...”

“Do you want to be put under first?” she asked Lewis as they sat down. “Huh?” he replied in confusion. Something like a cough came out of Vlad that jerked her head up. Vampires didn’t need to cough. Was that a muffled laugh? “You know.” Kira’s eyes flashed green at Lewis, and her fangs seemed to jump out of her gums. “Get bespelled so you don’t remember this.” Lewis appeared even more confused. “If that’s what you want.” I will not as for pointers from Dracula, she swore to herself. I will not. “Yeah, I’d feel better about that. So, ah…look into my eyes.” Another strangled sound came from Vlad’s direction. Now Kira was sure it was a laugh. She was determined to ignore him. Lewis obediently stared at her, and Kira tried to make her voice sound confident. “You don’t feel anything. You’re not afraid.” “I am,” came Vlad’s immediate reply. “If you tell him wolves are the children of the night next, I might hurt myself laughing.”

“I can’t believe you bit me there,” she finally said. “But what I really can’t believe is how it felt.”A smile curved his lips. “There are perks to being a vampire. That is one of them. I’ll enjoy showing you the others.”