Jeri Smith-Ready

“For a short time, we’d become each other,a little. Maybe that’s what people dowhen they fall in love, mind, body, andsoul. Or maybe we were just weird.”

“You want me to flash you" I saidHe nodded vigorously, like I'd asked if he wanted fries with that."And then you'll pass on?""That's all I want. So, yeah."I could almost believe that a fourteen-year-old boy could find deep spiritual peace from a pair of boobs.”

“Zachary leaned in, and I thought he was going to kiss me.Instead he pressed his cheek to mine and held it there. It felt more intimate than a kiss.”

“He knelt and slowly ran his hand down my arm, his lids heavy and his lips parted. “Aura . . . where can I touch you?”“Anywhere.”His hand left my arm and drifted to the rise of my hip bone. “And where can I kiss you?”I took a deep breath, long past ready for the future. “Everywhere.”

“But in the depth of Zachary's weary, determined eyes, I saw more than a desperate longing. I saw a future.”

“Even the second time around, the lyrics and melody reached through my ears, bypassed my brain, and went straight to my heart, where they wriggled around, causing a hundred different pains.”

“We were linked, for the endless now that felt every bit like forever.”

“I miss you, Logan." I touched my fingers to my lips, then to the forehead of the Keeley Brothers skull. "I miss you so much."Missing Logan was an emptiness, an ache so dull and deep, it was a permanent part of me. I would never truly get over his death, but someday I would find peace. Missing Zachary, on the other hand, was a searing knife in the gut. I burned to save him from the horrible fates I imagined, and the need to be in his arms again set my skin ablaze. One boy was gone forever. The other was gone now.”

“When you're in hell, there's nothing left to fear.”

“I wish I could believe in Druids' otherworld, where other people go when they die here, where they can live another life.""And then come back to this world when they die there, over and over again. It does sound comforting" "Except for one thing" Zachary's finger wound in my hair. "This is the only life I ever want.”

“You can't fight memories. They come whether you look for them or not.”

“It scared me to need anyone so much. if our souls became inextricably tangled, would mine still be mine? Did I care?”

“I'll never forget you. I'll never forget your voice or your face or your dumb jokes. And i'll never forget your love.”

“This was Bad with a capital Hell No.”

“You know what would be cool, next time?" said a voice behind me. "Black roses.”

“I’ll always love you.” “I’ll love you, too.” He touched my face. “Forever.”

“He grabbed the microphone in both hands, his face exploding into a smile at the sensation. “Hey. Do not. I repeat. Do. Not. Panic. There’s nothing to be scared of. This is just your average everyday fucking miracle.”

“One of those times," he said, "I think I'd take a nap.”

“I hate when people act like music is nothing but wild creativity," Logan said. "That's bullshit. It's also about counting and measuring and calibrating. If you do it right." He passed his hand over my MP3 player sitting on the bed between us. It was playing Mozart to help my concentration. "And if you do it really right, no one can tell how hard it is for you. You can let them believe it's magic, because that means you must be magic. You're worth worshipping.”

“I love you all, so much more than you should ever love me.”

“Maybe we should've stayed like that, just hanging out. Maybe we never should've kissed those Keeley boys.”

“I love you, Aura," Logan whispered. "Body or not, as long as I'm in this world, I want to be with you.”

“Somehow you always stayed quiet.” He laid his hands beside each of mine, so that if he’d been solid, I would’ve been pinned between his body and the dresser. “Remember?”

“He smiled at me. “Have a good time.” “Thank you.” The music was definitely working, I thought as I started to shut the door.“Don’t get laid,” he added.”

“Hey, it’s not like I was saving myself for the day you had a body again, so don’t get excited.” “Too late.” He curved his fingers around my jaw and kissed me, hard enough to turn my limbs to liquid fire.”

“My heart pounded when its counterpart thumped beneath his skin. “How?”“I don’t care,” he said, and kissed me.”

“Logan. Touching.”

“The hand touched my cheek again. It wasn’t soft and cool like Gina’s. It was warm, with calloused fingertips like those of….….a guitar player.”

“Don’t move,” he breathed, softer than ever. Logan slowly wrapped his fingers around my hand.”

“I’ve been writing more songs in my head,” he said, “about being a ghost and a shade.” His face turned smooth and solemn. “How I’d die all over again just to touch you.”

“He leaned in. “Kiss me, one last time.” I called up a distant memory of his lips against mine. But this time, I kept my eyes open.When he pulled back, Logan passed his hand over my hair. “Don’t forget me, okay?”

“Honestly?” Logan shrugged. “I didn’t know it could kill me. If I’d ever heard that, I forgot it a long time ago. But I knew it was dangerous.” “Then why take the risk?” Stone asked.Logan turned his head to look at me. “Because she was worth it.”

“With my eyes closed and my memories open, I could almost feel his hands and mouth on my skin.”

“Spider-Swear.”

“Logan was close enough for me to touch, to smell, to feel his breath on my forehead. Close enough to kiss. If only he were alive.”

“He whispered against my mouth. “Wait for me, Aura.”

“Don’t tell me no this time, Aura. Please. Don’t make me stop.”

“Logan’s voice switched from a growl to a scream to a seductive whisper from one song to the next.”

“When I got tired, Logan would sing me to sleep, sometimes a painfully appropriate song like Flogging Molly’s “If I Ever Leave This World Alive” or Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars.” Sometimes he’d pick a lilting Irish lullaby, or even a song he’d written himself.”

“It's not easy being the Chosen One. Just ask Buffy Summers. Ask Harry Potter. And ask Zoey Redbird, the latest in this list of "lucky" candidates picked by fate to save the world from darkness- and oh yeah, find romance, keep their friends and maybe not flunk every class. In their spare time of course.”

“Aura, I'm really patient, but I'm not a bloody saint.”

“I promise I'll never tell.""Don't promise that," he said in an ultraserious voice. "If they try to hurt you and the only way to protect yourself is to tell them what you know about me, then you tell them. Straight off, okay?""No." "Promise me.""No!""I will possess your heart."Heat flared along the back of my neck. "What did you say?""My favorite song. 'I Will Possess Your Heart.'""By Death Cab for Cutie?"He snorted. "No, the little known T.I. Hip-hop remix. Yes, Death Cab for Cutie."... "Why? What's wrong with it?""Nothing, but it doesn't seem to fit you. It's kind of a sad song." "No it's pure confident. It's not 'I want' or 'I need', none of that crap." He slipped his hand over mine. "It's 'I will.'"A nervous laugh bubbled up. "You will, huh?"His fingers brushed my cheek, then slid into my hair. "I will.”

“Instead I crawled next to him, snuggling close. "Zach, wake up.""Can't. Sleeping."I pressed my mouth to his in a full, deep kiss."Second thought, not sleeping.”

“Wherever you are," I whispered, "I hope you're smiling.”

“His soul's fabric was weaving itself with mine. I loved the frayed ends where it came unraveled, and I loved the strength at its firm, solid center.I loved every thread.”

“I don't need to see you to know that you're beautiful.”

“Logan began to sing, a lilting tune I didn't recognize. At first I wondered if we'd seen the band in concert together or had listened to it on one of our first dates.Then he reached the chorus, and the words were us.All my insecurities, all his excesses, all the ways we fought and pushed and pulled. And how it all didn't matter. Those things that tore us apart were no match for forever....I'd been so wrong about us. If he'd lived, we would've been happy. Not every day, but over the span of time that made up forever.But he hadn't lived....We had lost forever.”

“My pulse sped up at the thought of him and Becca wet and nearly naked."Nothing happened beyond a bit of soaking." He tilted his head. "Well, no' between us. Some of the others, I could tell you stories.""Stories about who?""Ah no, you won't get that for free. You have to be nice to me for two minutes straight.""I am nice to you.""I mean, really nice." He nudged my knee with his foot."Father Christmas might call it naughty, but he's a filthy old bugger.”

“That reminds me." I dug into my book bag and pulled out a white cardboard box tied with a string. "I brought these back for you."He looked at the box, then at me, before slowly reaching out. "What are they?""Poisonous snakes. Open it."Zachary untied the string. "They seem like very quiet snakes.""They're stealthy. Or maybe dead.”

“So do you have a kilt?" Megan asked him. When I glared at her, she said, "What? He only said you couldn't ask." She looked at him. "So do you?"Straightening up, Zachary rubbed the back of his neck and smirked. "I might, I might."God, he was gorgeous. And Scottish. But maybe kind of an ass.”