Joe Garden

THE DEVIOUS BOOK FOR CATS

Cats have nine lives. Shouldnt they be lived to the fullest?

Domesticated does not mean docile. The ho-hum routine of sleep, eat, eat, and sleep is no way for any creature who ruled Egypt for a millennium to spend her day. Its high time felines everywhere woke up from their cat naps and grabbed lifes strings with both paws.

The Devious Book for Cats offers todays discerning kitties words of wisdom and advice on everything they need to know, from in-depth guides on cardboard boxes and catnip to a brief history of the Felinism movement. It provides fail-safe tips on waking a human when you want to get fed, choosing the purr-fect gift, staring like a pro, and making the most of superstitions. It also explains the undeniable allure of the Window, the terrifying specter of the Vacuum, and how you can groom properly in just the scant twenty-four hours allotted each day.

Cats: Discover the devious fun you can have when youre the one in charge!

JOE GARDEN is the features editor of The Onion. He has portrayed an angry file cabinet on a late-night cartoon, a morgue assistant on a straight-to-DVD film, and, with his wife, Anita Serwacki, has written for the Emmy winning cartoon WordGirl. He has one cat, Smartie, who is finally earning her keep, and had another cat, Tiny, whom he misses dearly.

JANET GINSBURG has worked as a field producer for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and is a former staff writer for The Onion. She has also written or produced programs for the Discovery, Sci-Fi, and E! Entertainment channels, and her work appears in publications such as VIBE, Blender, and the L.A. Weekly. She was good friends with a cat named Q-Tip. She lives in Brooklyn.

CHRIS PAULS is a contributing writer for The Onion and does other stuff, too. He lives in Middleton, WI, with his wife and three cats, Freddie, Albert, and BB King.

ANITA SERWACKI is a contributing writer for The Onion and has written for the PBS animated series Word Girl. She was a music supervisor on the documentary The Kid Stays in the Picture and has been a DJ in N.Y.C. for many years, mostly on the burlesque circuit. Growing up, her family had a cat named Samantha who taught herself to use the toilet, which was weird. After just one week Samantha stopped using the toilet and never did it again, which was weirder. She currently lives in Brooklyn with her husband, Joe Garden, and her cats Bacon and Pokey. Tiny RIP.

SCOTT SHERMAN is a staff writer for Important Things with Demetri Martin on Comedy Central. He is a former contributing writer for The Onion and The Onion News Network, and has also written for the New York Times Magazines funny pages and the A&E television network. He lives in New York City.

"