Joe Haldeman

“Sitting here in a bar with an asexual cyborg who is probably the only other normal person on the whole goddamned planet.”

“Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled;Scots, wham Bruce has aften led, Welcome to your glory bed, Or to victory.”

“-I die. Before I die my body turns hair-side-in. People come from everywhere to see the insides of themselves. But the sight makes them lose the will, and all die. O the embarrassment.”

“-I die. My footprints are cursed. I walk around the village not knowing that all who cross where I have been will stay in estrous zero and bear no young. Eventually all die. O the embarrassment.”

“-I die. I,uh, have a terrible fever in my head and it gets hotter and hotter and hotter until my head is a fire, a forge, a star. I set the world on fire and everybody dies. O the embarrassment.”

“-This is embarrassing. I uh, die and, um the last breath from my lungs is a terrible acid. It melts the seaward wall of the city and a hurricane comes and washes it away. All die. O the embarrassment-You're much better at that than he was.”

“I die. I breathe in and breahe in and cannot exhale. I explode all over my friends. They forget my name and pretend it is dung. They wash off in the square and the well becomes polluted. All die. O the embarrassment.”

“I die. O my hair falls out and my flesh rots and my bones are cracked by the hungry ta!a'an. He drops me behind him all around the forest and nothing will grow where his excrement from my marrow falls. As the years pass the forest dies from the poison of my remains. The soil washes into the sean and poisons the fish and all die. O the embarrassment.”

“He's asleep in the harbor, disguised as dog shit.”

“Doctors don’t seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.”

“The 1143-year-long war hand begun on false pretenses and only because the two races were unable to communicate.Once they could talk, the first question was 'Why did you start this thing?' and the answer was 'Me?”

“I'm not quite Machiavellian enough to set him up, but if he strays too close to the edge I might give him a nudge.”

“Don't worry about that, Man, just make out my ticket.”

“There's no such thing as writing about the future. The future hasn't happened yet.”

“Table of Contents”

“Saul's vitals were not human, but familiar:he never told me he was from another world:I never told him I was from his future. ”

“Tonight we're going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.”

“Bad books on writing tell you to "WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW", a solemn and totally false adage that is the reason there exist so many mediocre novels about English professors contemplating adultery.”