John Layman

“Alright, Colby. How we wanna play this? In through the skylight? Side entrance? Sneak in the back?""Are you kidding? Fuck all that shit. Poyo don't sneak.”

“Mark my words. Someday, somehow, he WILL be back. And upon his return, shake the very foundation of heaven and hell. Irrevocably. Irredeemably. Because that's one bad-ass motherfuckin' bird!”

“This is Poyo. Poyo was exposed to a near-lethal amount of radiation as an egg, during the first stages of a government experiment to create mutant super soldiers--trained in exotic martial arts technique by Tibetan Kung Fu fightin' monks--and given strange bio-enhancements during a rash of farm animal abductions by extra-terrestrials. Nah, just kidding. None of that shit is true. Poyo is just really, really bad ass.”