Joseph L. Mankiewicz

“There is no such thing as realistic dialogue. If you [simply recorded] the real conversation of any people and played it back from the stage, it would be impossible to listen to. It would be redundant . . . . The good dialogue writer is the one who can give you the impression of real speech.”

“Remind me to tell you about the time I looked into the heart of an artichoke.”

“The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't.”