Josh Stern

“While Sex without love is shallow, it's so profoundly uncomplicated”

“Hotness and Genius have the same byproduct: Insanity”

“I always fall butter side down”

“If my body is a Temple, then The Greeks and Romans ransacked it years ago”

“Trashy Women should probably exclusively date Garbage Men”

“Meat IS murder – but eating vegetables IS slow torture”

“Trying to balance chivalry with equality, I always open a door for a Lady...then stick my foot out”

“I wish I had flaps of extra skin connecting my arms & legs like a Flying Squirrel & then spend my days at the park jumping from tree to tree”

“My greatest fault is trying to stuff the baggage of an impossible situation into the trunk of an elegant solution”

“Women are aroused by the strangest things, like a rock going through their bedroom window”

“There's a fine mascara line between genius and insanity”

“I'm not saying I'm an Alcoholic, but I do have prescription shot glasses”

“My Anorexic Ex was so skinny she didn't give head, she gave skull”

“Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living”

“YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM DRINK FROM THE TOILET"
”

“Revenge is a dish best served by a tennis racket”

“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman”

“The line forms on the right, but I prefer the chaos on the left”

“If she can do the splits, the 5 second rule does not apply”

“I like two beautiful women on my arm- as human shields"
”

“When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door”

“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: the truly creative and the truly medicated”