Julia Quinn

“I wasn't in any danger," Henry said quickly. "Dunford likes to exaggerate.""He does?" Alex asked, raising his brows."He was very anxious," she told him, then turned to Emma as if she had to explain. "He gets very anxious.""Anxious?" Emma echoed."Dunford?" Alex asked at the very same time."You must be joking," Emma added, in a tone that suggested there could be no other possible alternative.”

“She shrugged. "I'm surprised your mother didn't inform you of my presence. Or Belle. She has spoken about you a great deal."His eyes narrowed as his heart sank. "You've become friendly with Belle?" He saw all his hopes for a flirtation with this girl going up in smoke.”

“Tarryton did so, but not before saying, "I wouldn't be surprised if Billington came up to scratch on this gel.""Billington, Farnsworth, and a few others," Alex said with his most affable smile."Ashbourne?" Dunford's voice was colder than ice."Dunford?""Shut up.”

“I don't know why people persist in believing women are inferior, when it is quite clear that men are the more feeble-minded of the two.”

“He wanted to laugh at the poetic justice of it all. After a couple of years of chasing after women and then a decade of having them chase after him, he'd finally been brought down by a slip of a girl, fresh out of Cornwall, whom he was honor-bound to protect.”

“I don't think Henrietta suits anyone," she replied. Then she offered him her cheeky smile, and Alex saw in an instant why Dunford was falling like a rock for this girl. She had spirit, and although she didn't realize it yet, she had beauty, and Dunford didn't have a chance.”

“All three men looked at the woman in the doorway, but they all saw different things.Alex saw a rather attractive young lady with a remarkable air of vitality in her silver eyes.John saw the woman he'd come to like and admire tremendously this past week, looking rather fetching and grown-up in her new gown and coiffure.Dunford saw an angel.”

“But just for the sake of argument, let's say I am cornered. Or perhaps I am in the middle of a crowded ballroom and do not want to make a scene. If you were flirting with a young lady who had just told you not to call her sweetheart, what would you do?""I would accede to her wishes and bid her good night," he said starchily."You would not!" Henry accused with a playful smile. "You're a terrible rake, Dunford. Belle told me.""Belle talks too much," he muttered.”

“Not," Caroline had said, "that I disapprove of your moniker. It is simply that my husband's name is also Henry, and it's rather disconcerting for me to use it on a girl of your tender years."Henry had only smiled and told her that that was just fine. It had been so long since she had had a maternal figure that she would have been inclined to let Caroline call her Esmerelda if she so desired.”

“At any rate," she prattled on, awkwardness making her words run together, "I really can't get up to get my clothing, and my dressing gown appears to be just out of reach. I'm not exactly certain how this is so, but it is, so perhaps you ought to get up first, as I've already seen you—""Henry?""Yes?""Shut up.”

“He yawned again, this time very loudly, and lazily opened his eyes."I'm sorry I woke you up," she said quickly."Was I sleeping?"She nodded."So there really is a God," he muttered.”

“He always smelled like warm wood and brandy, even when he hadn't had a drop of drink. Funny how he managed that. Funny how his smell was in her bed.Henry's eyelids fluttered open.Funny how he was in her bed.”

“No," he said hoarsely, "the chair will do just fine, thank you.""If I know you are uncomfortable, I shan't be able to sleep." She sounded remarkably like a damsel in distress.Dunford shuddered. He had never been able to resist playing hero. Slowly he got to his feet and walked to the empty side of the bed.How bad could it be?”

“All—all right," she said, looking dubiously at the chair. "I—um, I need to change, though.""I'll just wait in the hall." He straightened his spine and walked from the room, deciding he was the noblest, most chivalrous, and possibly the most stupid man in all Britain.”

“They climbed up into the carriage and were on their way. Henry caught her bonnet on the doorframe as she was getting in, a circumstance which caused her to mutter most ungraciously under her breath. Dunford thought he heard her say, "Bloody bleeding blooming bonnet," but he couldn't be certain.”

“Dunford arrived a few minutes later and gave her an approving nod. "You look lovely, Henry."She smiled her thanks but decided not to put too much stock in his compliment. It sounded like the sort of thing he said automatically to any woman in his vicinity.”

“We'll just forget about this little conversation, shall we? The last bit that is."She managed to stretch her lips into a smile, but what she really wanted to do was hurl the brandy decanter at him.”

“Hush up, minx. You're a funny one, but you're certainly more likable than unlikable.”

“Have you anything that is ready to wear today? I'd like nothing better than to be rid of that thing she has on now. You can use her measurements to fashion a few more.""I have one or two I could quickly alter to her size. In fact there is one right there." She pointed to a pale yellow day dress draped over a dressmaker's model. Dunford was just about to say that it would do when he saw Henry's face.She was staring at the dress like a starving woman.”

“He sighed, wondering how his life had been turned upside down by this woman in less than forty-eight hours. Correction: by this woman, a pig, and a rabbit.”

“They marched back to the kitchen in silence, the only sound being Rufus's growl when Dunford tried to pet him."Can a rabbit growl?" he asked, unable to believe his ears."Obviously he can.”

“Yes?""When you said you weren't angry...""Yes?""Were you?""I was rather annoyed," he admitted."But not angry?" She sounded as if she didn't believe him."Believe me, Henry, when I get angry, you'll know.""What happens?"His eyes clouded over slightly before he answered. "You don't want to know."She believed him.”

“If this morning wasn't enjoyable, at least it was...shall we say...interesting, and my clothing was worth the sacrifice if it means we've reached a truce of sorts. I have no wish to be awakened before dawn next week only to be informed I have to single-handedly slaughter a cow."Her eyes widened. How did he know?”

“On the way over, however, it slid off the shovel and onto Henry's shoes.Pity, that.She whirled around. He waited for her to burst out with, "You did that on purpose!" but she kept silent, motionless except for a slight narrowing of her eyes. Then, with a flick of her ankle, the slop spattered onto his trousers.She smirked, waiting for him to say, "You did that on purpose!" but he also remained silent. Then he smiled at her, and she knew she was in trouble.”

“He ground his teeth and slapped some slop down into a pile. The stench was beyond overwhelming. "I thought you said pigs are clean.""Cleaner than people usually think, but not as clean as you and I." She looked at his messy boots, amusement dancing in her gray eyes. "Well, usually.”

“Two hours later he was ready to kill her. Even his outraged mind, however, recognized that murder was not a viable option, and so he contented himself with devising various plans to make her suffer.Torture was probably too trite, he decided, and he didn't have the stomach to use it on a female. Although ... He looked over at the person in the baggy breeches. She appeared to be smiling as she lugged the stones. She was no ordinary female.He shook his head. There were other ways to make her miserable. A snake in her bed perhaps? No, the blasted woman probably liked snakes. A spider? Didn't everyone hate spiders?”

“He watched her as she carried the stone over to one of the walls and set it down. She exhaled and wiped her brow. Then she glared at him.He smiled—one of his best, he thought. "You ought to bend your legs when you lift the stones," he called out. "It's better for your back.""It's better for your back," she mimicked under her breath, "lazy, good-for-nothing, stupid little—""Excuse me?""Thank you for your advice." Her voice was sweetness personified.”

“He rolled his eyes. Why was he surprised about anything having to do with her? Of course she'd be able to lift a large stone. She was Henry. She could probably lift him.”

“I wonder where everyone is," she muttered."Sleeping, if they have any idea what's good for them," Dunford replied acerbically."I suppose we could get started on our own," she said doubtfully.For the first time all morning he smiled broadly and meant it. "I know less than nothing about stonemasonry, so I vote we wait.”

“Of course. The team on your carriage was beautiful. They are yours, aren't they?"He ignored her and walked ahead until his foot connected with soft mushy ground. "Shit," he muttered."Exactly."He glared at her, thinking himself a saint for not going for her throat.”

“The youngest one,” she interrupted. “The youngest son, I mean. The one who is unmarried.”“I know who he is.”“Very well, then. What is wrong with him?” At that she cocked her head to the side and waited expectantly.He thought for a moment. “Nothing.”“You—wait.” She blinked. “Nothing?”He shook his head, then shifted his weight a little; his good foot was beginning to fall asleep. “Nothing comes immediately to mind.” It was true. She could do a good deal worse than Gregory Bridgerton.“Really?” she asked suspiciously. “You find nothing at all objectionable about him.”Marcus pretended to think about this a bit longer. Clearly he was supposed to be playing a role here, probably that of the villain. Or if not that, then the grumpy old man. “I suppose he’s a bit young,” he said.”

“You are always looking at people like this.” And then she made a face, one he couldn’t possibly begin to describe.“If I ever look like that,” he said dryly, “precisely like that, to be more precise, I give you leave to shoot me.”

“Watch over Honoria, will you? See that she doesn’t marry an idiot.”

“Interesting, he later reflected, was perhaps not the correct word.By the time he and Henry arrived back at the house for their midday meal—a scrumptious bowl of hot, sticky porridge—he had mucked out the stable stalls, milked a cow, been pecked by three separate hens, weeded a vegetable garden, and fallen into a trough.”

“Leaning forward, he set out to conquer Miss Henrietta Barrett the same way he'd conquered women across Britain.Simply by being himself.”

“The pig reached the assembly of servants, and the maids shrieked, running in every possible direction. Stunned by the sudden movement, the pig stopped, raised its snout; and let out a hellish squeal—and then another, and another, and..."Will you shut up!" Dunford commanded.The pig, sensing authority, didn't just shut up—it actually laid down.”

“How delightful! Dunford had just come into an unexpected inheritance. She rather hoped it was something good. One of her friends had just unwillingly inherited thirty-seven cats.”

“I can’t help but think that if she was going to kill herself, she might as well have done it earlier. Perhaps when I was a toddler. Or better yet, an infant. It certainly would have made my life easier. I asked my uncle Hugh (who is not really my uncle, but he is married to the stepsister of my current mother’s brother’s wife and he lives quite closeand he’s a vicar) if I would be going to hell for such a thought. He said no, that frankly, it made a lot of sense to him. I do think I prefer his parish to my own.”

“Most people would have probably lost count around seven. This was, Harry knewfrom his extensive reading on logic and arithmetic, the largest number that most peoplecould visually appreciate. Put seven dots on a page, and most people can take a quickglance and declare, “Seven.” Switch to eight, and the majority of humanity was lost.”

“But when Anthony kissed her, she felt asif she were losing her mind. And when hekissed her twice, she wasn't even sure if she wanted it back!”

“Honoria had a plan.It had come to her in church that morning. (The ladies went; the gentlemen somehow managed to get out of it.) It wasn’t terribly complicated; she needed only a sunny day, a halfway acceptable sense of direction, and a shovel.”

“Raw toast," Lucas said grimly, shaking his head. "It goes against the very nature of man.”

“They all turned to the dark-haired woman standing quietly to the side and slightly behind Aunt Charlotte. She was, in a word, gorgeous. Everything about her was perfection, from her shiny hair to her milky-white skin. Her face was heart-shaped, her lips full and pink, and her eyelashes were so long that Honoria thought they musttouch her brows if she opened her eyes too wide.“Well,” Honoria murmured to Iris, “at least no one will be looking at us.”

“He blinked a few times, each motion so slow that he was never quite sure if he’d get his eyes open again. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. Funny how he was only just realizing it. Funnier still that he couldn’t seem to summon any concern for her maidenly sensibilities.She might be blushing. He couldn’t tell. It was too dark to see. But it didn’t matter. This was Honoria. She was a good egg. A sensible egg. She wouldn’t be scarred forever by the sight of his chest.”

“He sucked his lips in an attempt not to laugh. "Aren't you Spanish?"She raised one arm in a salute. "Viva la Queen Isabella!""I see. Then why are you speaking with a French accent?”

“She glowered at him. 'For your information, in the past week, I have been, oh let's see, nearly raped,kidnapped, tied to a bedpost, forced to cough my voice into nothingness-""That was your own fault.""Not to mention the fact that I embarked upon a life of crime by breaking and entering into my formerhome, was nearly trapped by my odious guardian-""Don't forget your sprained ankle," he supplied."Ooooohhhh! I could kill you!" Another bar of soap flew by his head, grazing his ear."Madam, you are certainly doing an able job of trying.""And now!" she fairly yelled. "And now, as if all of that weren't undignified enough, I am forced to livefor a week in a bloody bathroom!”

“I am going to kill you," he hissed.She gulped. "Don't you want to lecture me first?"He stared at her with a heavy dose of stupefaction."I take that back," he said with precisely clippedwords. "First I am going to strangle you, and then I am going to kill you.""Here?" she asked doubtfully, looking around. "Won't my dead body look suspicious in the morning?”

“Click. The door swung open."Three," James said with a slightly self-satisfied smile."Well done," Caroline said.He smiled back at her. "I've never met a woman or a lock that didn't love me.”

“You'd never have gotten it right. You have to hit the door just so. It took me weeks to learn." "And what were you doing sneaking out at night?" he demanded. "I fail to see how that is your business." "You became my business when you took up residence in my house." "Well, I wouldn't have moved in if you hadn'tkidnapped me!" "I wouldn't have kidnapped you if you hadn't been wandering about the countryside with no thought to your own safety." "I was certainly safer in the countryside than I was at Prewitt Hall, and you well know it." "You wouldn't be safe in a convent," he muttered. "If you two lovebirds can stop snapping at each other," James cut in, "I'd like to search the study before Prewitt returns home." Blake glared at Caroline as if this entire delay were her fault, causing her to hiss, "Don't forget that if it weren't for me-" "If it weren't for you," he shot back, "I would be a very happy man indeed." "We are wasting time," James reminded them. "The both of you may remain here, if you cannot cease your squabbling, but I am going in to search the south drawing room." "I'll go first," Caroline announced, "since I know the way." "You'll go behind me," Blake contradicted, "and give me directions as we go along." "Oh, for the love of Saint Peter," James finally burst out, exasperation showing in every line of his body. "I'll go first, if only to shut the two of you up. Caroline, you follow and give me directions. Blake, you guard her from the rear.”

“con-tu-ber-nal(noun). One who occupiesthe same tent; a tent-fellow, comrade.The thought of Percy Prewitt as my contubernal causes me to break out in hives.-From the personal dictionary ofCaroline Trent”