Julianne Donaldson

“-Hardly knowing what i was doing, i began to hit the table with one hand as i sang in a low voice. Big cows" -thump- "lumps of meat" -thump. His widened. "Give me milk" -thump- "warm and sweet."I stopped abruptly, pressing my lips together as I realized what I had just sung. The ridiculousness of it struck me forcibly and I knew I could not goon without laughing. We stared at each other,locked in a stalemate, his eyes brimming with laughter, his lips trembling. My chin quivered. Against my will, a sound burst from me. It was a very unladylike snort.-”

“You stole my heart the night we met, when you sang that ridiculous song and dared me not to laugh. and every moment I have spent with you since then, you have stolen more and more of me until when you're not with me..." He drew in a breath. "When you are not with me, I am left with nothing but longing for you.”

“We both stood there, as if on the brink of a cliff, and I didn't know if I moved if I would fall to hell or soar to heaven.”

“Philip. I have never been outside of England. I've never even been to London. Do you know what I would give for your experiences? How could you possibly think you would bore me?" He didn't answer, but there was such a look of delight in his eyes that I had to ask, "Why are you looking at me like that?" "You called me Philip. For the first time.”

“Philip: "You are even more beautiful when you're angry"Marianne: "Don't be absurd"Philip: "I'm not"Philip: "You should see yourself, with that flash of fire in your eyes. And when you press your lips together like that, a dimple appears in your left cheek, right next to your mouth. I find it... maddening”

“I promise, Marianne Daventry," he began."I promise that I do not love you for your money”

“There's something solid and constant about trees." I said quietly. "They may change through the seasons, but they're always there. They're dependable.”

“Philip stood with the tip of a sword pressed into Mr. Beaufort’s throat. I saw another sword on the floor. Neither gentleman looked toward the door. Philip looked perfectly in control, his sword bending the skin of Mr. Beaufort’s neck without piercing it. When he spoke, though, his voice sounded so fierce I hardly recognized it. “Tell me what you did to her.” “I made sure you wouldn’t want her anymore.” “I will always want her,” Philip said in a quiet, furious voice. “Always! There is nothing you could do to change that.” Mr. Beaufort sneered. “Then why do you want to know?”“Because I would never make her say the words. And because I want to know how much I should enjoy running you through.”

“Mr. Beaufort: “Then why do you want to know?” Philip: “Because I would never make her say the words.”

“I did not want Philip—that handsome, incorrigible, charming tease who stole hearts he had no intention of keeping.”

“I felt like I did the first time I had been thrown from a horse, with the reins yanked from my hands and the ground rushing up at me. Then, as now, there was nothing I could do to prevent the pain that was coming.”

“My heart would obey me, I was certain. I simply needed to be strict with it.”

“If I leaned toward him, something would happen. I was sure of it. But if I leaned away, nothing would happen. So I stayed perfectly still, balanced between something and nothing, not knowing which way I wanted to fall.”

“I had to be different... so I would not be inferior. We could not occupy the same space together. Like horses in a race, I was tired of jostling for position and losing. I chose a different course so that losing would not be an option.”

“There was no escape from being unwanted. And that was the truth that struck at me the most deeply.”

“Did you need something?' I asked.'Yes,' he said, reaching out and taking my hand. My heart thumped hard at his touch. I told myself I should pull my hand away, but I couldn't make myself do it.'What did you need?' My voice was little more than a whisper.'Your smile. I haven't seen it all day.”

“I reread my grandmother's letter and realized with a deep sense of contentment that I had not had to change at all in order to have every hope for happiness in life. I had not had to learn to sing for company or to behave like Cecily or to stop twirling. I could be myself and be loved deeply. I was, in fact, a lot like Meg, who had always been a racehorse, I just hadn't known it.”

“I hope you do not let anyone else's expectations direct the course of your life.”

“Do not let anyone else's expectations direct the course of your life. I have discovered happiness in being true to who I am.”

“Dear Philip,I don't imagine you will ever read this. If you do, it is bacause something dreadful has happened to me. I find myself in the hands of a dangerous man. I am determined to fight him but before I do, my heart demands that I write this note to tell you that I love you. I am sending my heart to you in this letter so it will be kept safe from whatever may happen to me tonight. I don't know if you want it or not, but it has always been yours.With all my love,Marianne”

“Don't think because I tease you that I don't take you seriously.”

“When you are not with me, I am left with nothing but longing for you.”

“My heart swelled until I felt as if it might take over my entire being. I had landed in heaven. This was heaven.”

“What have I done to deserve that look?" He asked in a low voice so that nobody else could hear.”

“Isn't that what a gentleman does? Rescues a damsel in distress?”

“He cupped my face in his hands. "Then listen to me, my blind, stubborn, darling friend. You stole my heart the night we met, when you sang that ridicuos song and dared me not to laugh. And every moment I have spent with you since then, you have stolen more and more of me until when you're not with me....." He drew in a breath. "When you are not with me, I am left with nothing but longing for you.”

“He crossed the room to me and grabbed me by the shoulders. In three steps, he had me backed up against the bookcase. Before I could do more than catch my breath, he took my face in his hands and kissed me.”

“To my unsuspecting love.When I look into your eyes, I lose all sense of time and place. Reason robbed, clear thought erased, I am lost in the paradise I find within your gaze.I long to touch your blushing cheek, to whisper in your ear how I adore you, how I have lost my heart to you, how I cannot bear the thought of living without you.To be so near to you without touching you is agony. Your blindness to my feelings is a daily torment, and I feel driven to the edge of madness by my love for you.Where is your compassion when I need it most? Open your eyes , Love, and see what is right before you: that I am not merely a friend, but a man deeply, desperately , in love with you.Longing for you.”