Julie James

“She spoke under her breath to Nick. "Is there a reason he's only wearing one sock?" "He puked on his foot." "Oh." She turned back to Huxley. "Can we get you another sock? Maybe a blanket or something?”

“Help me out here, Jeremy," she said pleadingly.He gave her a look. "Why should I do that?""Because once, nineteen years ago, you were wrong about him, too."Jeremy stared at her stoically. After a long pause, his face broke into a smile. "Aw, hell, you crazy kid, you knew I was gonna let you in—I'm a sucker for this stuff.”

“Oh God, baby...love me.”

“It's a truth universally acknowledged that an FBI special agent in possession of great skill and talent is likely to engage in trash talk every now and then.”

“I'm still trying to decide how I feel about the fact that you knew about this before I did.""Don't be disappointed," Jack said. "The fact that I've been ridiculously proud of you for days doesn't change how excited you should be about this. Besides, I pretty much know everything. You should probably just start getting used to it.""And on that note, I'm hanging up," Cameron said."Rushing me off so you can call Collin next?" Jack teased."No" she said emphatically. Damn, he really did know everything.”

“I invited a few people to help celebrate your birthday," Cameron said sheepishly. She threw up her hands. "Surprise.""We sort of come with the package," Collin explained. "Think of it as a collective gift from all of us to you: five bona fide annoying and overly intrusive new best friends.""It's the gift that keeps on giving," Wilkins said.Jack grinned. "I'm touched. Really. And since it appears I'm going to be moving in, let me be the first to say that all of you are always welcome at my and Cameron's house. Subject to a minimum of forty-eight hours prior notification.”

“My God, Jack - with a look like that, you two should just get a room. And try not to pick the one with a dead body next to it this time.”

“I would have done it for you in a heartbeat”

“The shower trick. Let's hear it, Kendall”

“J.D. cleared his throat and pushed the button on the intercom.“Uh, Payton, hi. It’s J.D.”Dead silence.Then another crackle.“Sorry. Not interested.”Cute. But J.D. persisted. Again with the button.“I want to talk to you.”Crackle.“Ever hear of a telephone, asshole?”Okay, he probably deserved that.”

“Never send a boy to do a woman’s job, Irma.” - Payton Kendall”

“Then she would be done with J. D. Jameson forever. No more having to prove herself; no more of those pesky jitters she felt whenever she saw him at work—something like butterflies in her stomach, it was actually quite annoying; no more stress; no more fights in the library; and definitely no more sexy I’m-gonna-kiss-you-now-woman blue-eyed heated gazes.She had no idea why she just thought that.”

“The bastard—no other name was necessary, from now on the man formerly known as J.D. would simply be called The Bastard, The Prick, or The Shithead.”

“Raise your hand if you had no idea you’d see so much nudity in one week of jury duty.”Twelve hands flew straight into the air.And unbelievably, Payton laughed.”

“She looked for the deposition transcript she had dropped, she turned around and——the entire audience in the galley cried out in shock.Unbeknownst to Payton, when she had fallen her skirt—those damn slim-fit skirts she liked so much—had torn at the seam and now gaped open, and sweet Jesus, she was wearing a thong and two tiny white butt cheeks peeked out from between the folds of her skirt—J.D.’s jaw nearly hit the floor.”

“Holy fuck—would somebody please tell him why a massive photo of a penis was sitting front and center in the courtroom?”

“J.D. nodded. Yes, yes, fine, thank you. Nice attitude, by the way. Like boss, like secretary.”

“maybe you’re sleeping and I suppose I could just say this in the morning, but now I can’t sleep and I’m just lying here so I might as well get it over with, and well . . .I’m sorry about this afternoon, J.D. The first spill honestly was an accident, but the second . . . okay, that was completely uncalled for. I’m, um, happy to pay for the dry cleaning. And, well . . . I guess that’s it. Although you really might want to rethink leaving your jacket on your chair. I’m just saying. Okay, then. That’s what they make hangers for. Good. Fine. Good-bye.”J.D. heard the beep, signaling the end of the message, and he hung up the phone. He thought about what Payton had said—not so much her apology, which was question-ably mediocre at best—but something else.She thought about him while lying in bed.Interesting.Later that night, having been asleep for a few hours, J.D. shot up in bedHe suddenly remembered—her shoe.Oops.”

“Payton grinned. “You must be Chase.” As she extended her hand in introduction, she took the opportunity to give him a more thorough once-over.He had dark wavy hair and warm brown eyes. Very Pat-rick Dempsey/McDreamy-esque. Good build, not terribly tall, maybe only five-ten-ish, but since Payton measured in at exactly five-three and one-third inch, she could work with this”

“Sweet Jesus.It was The Delicious in the dark shirt and jeans.”

“Now anyone who has ever been on a blind date is well familiar with “The Moment”—that moment where you first walk into the bar or restaurant or coffee shop and scan the crowd and suddenly your heart stops and you say to yourself: oh, please—let it be him.”

“TEMPORARY INSANITY.”

“Well, at least I’m not a stubborn, button-pushing, Prius-driving, chip-on-your-shoulder-holding, ‘stay-at-home-mom’-is-the-eighth-dirty-word-thinking feminazi!”

“I think that you are an uptight, pony-owning, trickle-down-economics-loving, Scotch-on-the-rocks-drinking, my-wife-better-take-my-last-name sexist jerk!”

“Lesbian?”Payton turned around and saw J.D. standing there.Maybe it was the wine. Maybe she was basking in the glow of their successful pitch to Gibson’s. Maybe it was her promise to Laney to be the “New Payton,” or maybe it was a combination of all those things. But Payton actually found herself smiling at J.D.It’s just an excuse, the lesbian thing,” she said.”

“I’m a bit of a novice myself.” She smiled. Then she turned back to Jasper. “And please, call me Payton.”Like one of my favorite quarterbacks,” Jasper grinned.Only with an a instead of an e. And slightly fewer yards in passing,” Payton said. Damn—now she’d already blown one of the three measly sports references she knew in the first two minutes.Jasper laughed. “Slightly fewer yards in passing—I like that.” He turned to J.D., gesturing to Payton. “Where have you been hidin’ this girl, J.D.?”

“Then I should be able to say anything I want, right? Even the word ‘penis’?”Laney sighed. “Do we have to do this right now?”You should try saying the word sometime.”I’ll pass, thank you.”Payton shrugged. “Your choice, but I think you’d find it liberating. Everybody could use a good ‘penis’ now and then.”Laney glanced nervously around the coffee shop. “People are listening.”Sorry—you’re right. Good rule of thumb: if you’re gonna throw out a ‘penis’ in a public place, it should be soft. Otherwise it attracts too much attention.”The woman at the next table gaped at them.”

“Score one for Team Kendall, Payton thought.Not that it was a competition between them.Not at all.”

“It's HORSESHIT!”

“J.D. scoffed at this. “Please—as if I’m worried about anything Payton has to say. What’s she going to do, give me another one of her little pissed-off hair flips?” He flung imaginary long hair off his shoulders, exaggerating. “I’ll tell you, one of these days I’m going to grab her by that hair and . . .” He gestured as if throttling someone.Without breaking stride, he returned Tyler’s serve. The two smashed a few back and forth, concentrating on the game when—Is violence always part of your sexual fantasies?” Tyler interjected.J.D. whipped around—Sexual—?”—and got hit smack in the face with the squash ball. He toppled back and sprawled ungracefully across the court.Tyler stepped over and twirled his racquet. “This is nice. We should talk like this more often.”

“I realized that the one person who could break my heart is the only one who should have it.”

“The mighty have such simple weaknesses. I like to think it’s God’s way of keeping things fair.”

“Why did Jason lie about Naomi?”Jeremy cleared his throat nervously. “Oh. That. Um . . . well, you know, uh . . . to see if you’d get jealous.” He caught Taylor’s expression. “His plan—not mine,” he added quickly. Then he cocked his head curiously. “How did you know?”Taylor couldn't help but smile. "The watch thing.”

“Come with me to the Pacific Design Center.”“Why?”“Because I need help picking out a new couch,” he said, peering up at her uncertainly. “Isn’t that what friends do?”“Okay.”“Okay.” “Should we go?”Taylor went back inside her apartment and grabbed her keys. As she followed Jason out to his car, she tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey—can I drive the Aston Martin?”“No.”“But isn’t that what friends do?”“No.”“My, my, you’re awfully grumpy today . . . Is something wrong?”“Buckle up, sweetheart,” he told her. “This ain’t no PT Cruiser.”

“Business associates? Ouch. That’s worse than friends”

“Taylor’s dating Scott Casey?” He began to laugh. He held up one hand, clutching his side with the other. “Wait, wait.” He gasped for breath. “This really is too good. I gotta write this down to use one day.”Jeremy turned to his computer, reading out loud as he typed. “ ‘And then the evil, arrogant movie star learned that lying does not pay.”

“Seriously, Taylor—do you know who I am?” he demanded.She smiled at this. “You celebrities actually say that? That’s cute.”

“You probably should get back out there. You’re ignoring your other guests.”“Screw them.”“I’m sure that many of them, you already have.”

“You’re here.”“I am.”Jason boldly took in the way she looked.“I take it you don’t often wear that dress in court.”“Probably not a good idea.”He grinned. “Yes, I can imagine it would be somewhat awkward standing before a judge who has a huge hard-on.”“Is that the effect this dress has?”Taylor’s eyes traveled downward, to the zipper of Jason’s pants, and he was momentarily caught off guard by her bluntness.Her eyes sparkled, amused.“You’re blushing, Jason. That’s cute.”

“The character I’m playing in the film is this driven, workaholic lawyer who has never lost a case. When I’m playing him . . .” He paused, his voice softening. Somehow they were now standing just inches apart. “I think of you.” When their eyes met, Jason grinned and added, “With a penis.”

“Taylor: “Show me your craftiness. I’ll give you one question.”Jeremy: “I’m a big believer in first impressions,” he finally said. “Tell me what your first thought was when Jason walked into the courtroom.”Taylor: “I vowed to hate him forever.”Jeremy: “That’s exactly what I said nineteen years ago, five minutes after he first walked into our dorm room.”....Jason : “Did I miss something?”Taylor: “You’re a bit older than I thought, Jason Andrews.”Jason glanced quickly at Jeremy, who held up his hands innocently.Jeremy: “I swear, she forced it out of me.”

“Frank, this case is a publicity stunt and a shakedown. My clients did nothing illegal, and you and I both know I’ll have no problem proving that to a jury. So there’s no reason to discuss your ridiculous settlement offer any further. Call me when somebody sees a penis.”

“I have to be honest, I’m not exactly impressed with your case,” she said, cutting him off. “All you’ve got is a sporadic string of some very minor incidents. It’s not as if anyone slapped an ass or grabbed a boob.”

“Jeremy shook his head doubtfully. “I don’t know. I think you’ve met your match.”Jason scoffed at the very idea. “There’s no such thing.”“Well, from what I’ve seen and heard so far, the lawyer is up by two."Jason considered this. He may not have liked losing, but he loved the thrill of the game.“We’ll see how long that lasts . . .” he mused out loud.”

“What exactly was your plan here, Mr. Andrews? To just walk in and flash your little smile, no questions asked?”

“I love you,” she said softly.Jason's arms tightened around her. He grinned sleepily. “I know.”Taylor drifted off contentedly. Until through the darkness, she heard a low, sneaky whisper. “Mrs. Taylor Andrews . . .”She didn't bother to open her eyes.“Still not gonna happen.”

“Are you sure you’re not too tired?” Taylor taunted, lacing her fingers through his hair and pulling him between her legs. “Although you do seem to have a lot of energy for a thirty-nine-year-old.”Jason grabbed her by the back of the neck, pulling her mouth to his. “Thirty-eight, smart-ass. I have a December birthday.”

“And you said you’d hate me forever,” Jason teased as he tossed Taylor onto the bed.She reached impatiently for his belt buckle, yanking him onto the bed with her. “This is angry sex—I actually don’t like you at all.”

“If you keep doing that, you’ll be turning in another wrecked PT Cruiser.”“You said you wanted to drive,” Taylor whispered teasingly as she nibbled at his neck.“Because I’m the man.”“Fine. I’ll stop then, if that’s really what you want . . .”The car careened wildly as it took the next corner.“Fuck it,” Jason groaned. “I’ll buy you a new car.”

“Well? What do you have to say to that?” Jason asked.Taylor cocked her head. “Don’t you think we should have sex first?”