Kai Meyer

“Der Tod kam beim Nacht und er kam nicht allein. Ein kleines Mädchen lief an seiner Seite.”

“Du glaubst, es ging mir um die Unsterblichkeit?” Ein raspelndes Kichern. “Darauf seid allein ihr Menschen so versessen. Keine andere Kreatur lebt in solcher Furcht vor ihrer eigenen Vergänglichkeit.”

“Honesty is the most beautiful gift a person can give to another at the beginning of a friendship.”

“Das ist so ziemlich alles außer Geschirrspülen.”

“Wie die Sicherungsbolzen der Droiden in Star Wars."Stirnrunzelnd sah sie ihn an. Jungs.”

“Die ganze Welt verwechselt mich mit einem Idioten, der eine Elfe vögelt und mit Engeln spricht. Wie erwachsen ist das?”

“Ash hob die Kamera vom Schoß und machte ein Foto von ihren Knien, dann von einem ihrer Schuhe. Beide Bilder verschwanden im Rucksack."Kunst?""Sie schüttelte den Kopf. "Nur mein Leben.”

“Falls er sein Geld zurückverlangte, bekäme er seine erste Nasen-OP kostenlos.”

“Ich bin Parker." Er fand es höflich, das zu erwähnen, aber sie sah ihn an, als hätte er eine Flagge mit der Ausschrift Volltrottel gehisst.”

“Eine Milliarde!" Es hätten Bierdeckel sein können, die Zahl allein brachte den Mann ganz aus dem Häuschen.”

“Die Schaulustigen, denen es egal war, was sie begafften. Einen Unfall. Einen Amoklauf. Einen zu Tode gelangweilten Filmstar.”

“»Eines Tages«, sagte sie, »fange ich Träume ein wie Schmetterlinge.«»Und dann?«, fragte er.»Lege ich sie zwischen die Seiten dicker Bücher und presse sie zu Worten.«»Was, wenn jemand immer nur von dir träumt?«»Dann sind wir beide vielleicht schon Worte in einem Buch. Zwei Namen zwischen all den anderen.«”

“Do you still have the revolver you were going to shoot me with?” asked the old man on the telephone.“Yes, I have it here.”“How much ammunition?”“No idea. How do I find out?”He explained. In the moonlight, she felt the bulges of the cartridges in the cylinder. “Six,” she said.“And you don’t know how to use it?”“No.”“But you are American.”“Ha-ha.”“If you do as I say, and go about it cleverly, I hope you won’t need it. Unless Cesare Carnevare crosses your path, in which case please be kind enough to shoot him.”“How about the concordat?”He laughed. “Shoot him when no one’s looking.”

“She struggled to find words, and then all the anger she had been damming up for the last few minutes broke out. It made no difference that none of what had happened was his fault. Nor did the fact that he’d saved her, or what he had sacrificed to do it. He was a Carnevare. He was one of them. And he was preventing her from going to her sister’s aid when Zoe needed her.“The girl that Cesare killed … ,” she snapped, “her name was Lilia. She … she loved my sister. Do you understand that? Zoe has just lost the person who probably meant more to her than anything else. And Lilia sacrificed herself for me. How can you think that—”“I’d have done the same thing,” he interrupted her calmly. “I’d have died for you up on that mountain.”That took her breath away. For a moment it deprived her not only of her self-control, but of the ability to utter another syllable.After endless seconds, she stammered, “That—that’s nonsense.”“It’s the truth.” He turned his head and looked at her. “I’m in love with you, Rosa.”She hesitated, fighting for composure.“Oh, hell,” she whispered.He smiled sadly.Then neither of them said anything, until finally she took his cell phone and called Zoe.”

“Clearly we have all the time in the world,” she said crossly. “Feel free to start way back with the dinosaurs—just as long as you get to the Carnevares and Alcantaras sometime.”

“...it isn’t other people who decide if you feel alone, it’s yourself. Only I didn’t know that yet.”

“He clasped her fingers, not so she could pull him up but clearly because he wanted to touch them. She wanted it too, way too much, and then he stood there right in front of her, the abyss beside them, and she could smell his skin and his hair, and let go of his hand, even though she secretly wanted something quite different.”

“It would have been only fair to tell him so. To explain, right now, that she was the bloody Titanic whose wake would carry him under, if he didn’t jump into the lifeboat and head for the open sea.Instead, he leaned over to kiss her.She waited. Hesitated. Then withdrew her head before their lips could touch. For a split second he looked offended, but then he smiled, blinked at the sun, and said, “Well, when it gets to that point, I want to be there.”“When what gets to what point?”“When you’re not looking at everyone else as if they’d just declared war on you. And when you realize”—he pointed across the ravine—“that things may look like the end of the world but the world still goes on, over there on the other side. Maybe just one really large step would cross it.”

“You just have to look hard. Then you’ll find what you’re after.”It sounded almost as if he were trying to help her in her search for the unique, awkward magic of the place. And she realized he must have thought the same, the first time he ever drove along this road to nowhere, maybe every time he returned. Even today. Maybe everyone, in the face of this void, was searching for something to cling to. Alessandro perhaps even a little more than other people. In the last few minutes she’d discovered more thoughtfulness in him than she’d have thought possible, more desire for answers. Thinking this, it was difficult to look away from him and turn her eyes on what lay ahead of them again.”

“Did I promise you too much?”

“She slowly turned her head and looked at him. At his attractive, open face that could turn dark and reserved within seconds. The curve of his lips. The green eyes that looked into her a little too far and that she couldn’t defend herself against.”

“Ahead of them lay an expressway access road. Except that there were no guardrails or markings. No road signs either. And no other vehicles at all. Yet the road, following a narrow curve, led to a broad ribbon of asphalt tracing a straight line all the way to the horizon. Again, it had no lines painted on it and there were no signs. Rosa thought there would have been space for four traffic lanes on it, but it was covered with the dust and loose soil that had blown over it.No other sign of life. Just the two of them, the car, and a forgotten road to nowhere.“Where does it go?”“To the end of the world.”

“Would you make a right just up ahead?” he asked.“And then?”“I’ll show you something.”“More mysteries.”“There’s nothing mysterious about it.”“You’re the mystery.”He smiled. “Me?”

“How are you?”Rosa shrugged her shoulders. “My sister turned into a giant snake last night. And your cousin Tano—”“Second cousin.”“He was there too. He was a tiger. I recognized him from his eyes. Then I fainted.” She looked at him. “How does that sound?”

“She sighed. “Go on, say it. I shouldn’t have come.”“You shouldn’t have come.” He looked sideways at her and gave her a fleeting grin. “But I’m glad you did.”

“Other girls carried tasers or pepper spray for safety. Rosa had bought herself a stapler in a hardware store on the corner of Baltic and Clinton Streets. Her thinking was simple. An electric shock is nasty but leaves no marks. With her method, though, she could put two or three staples into any attacker’s body. Then he’d have to stop and decide whether to tangle with her or start getting the staples out of his skin.”

“Most are on the search for their center their entire life long, for the axis of their world, but only the fewest are aware of it.”

“Danach folgte eine Haarbürste. »Für Mädchen«, sagte er. »Pink mit Glitter.«»Du kennst mich so gut.«”

“»Hat dich jemand gesehen?«, fragte sie.»Ich hab jeden erschossen, der mir auf der Straße begegnet ist.«»Gut so.«”

“Je wahnsinninger alles um uns herum wird, desto normaler komme ich mir selbst vor. Mafiaboss mit achtzehn? Gestaltwandler? Verliebt in die eindeutig verrückteste Rosa der Welt? Alles ein Klacks gegen dieses Irrenhaus da draußen.”

“One day," she said, "I'll catch dreams like butterflies.""And then what?" he asked."Then I'll put them between the pages of big, fat books and press them until they're words.""Suppose there's someone who never dreams of anything but you?""Maybe then we're both words in a book. Two names among all the others.”

“Hört auf zu streiten, oder ich tue so, als ob ich in Ohnmacht falle. Vielleicht schreie ich auch ein bisschen.”

“Wären wir Narben, dann wären unsere Erinnerungen die Fäden, die uns zusammenhalten. Du kannst sie nicht zerschneiden. Wenn du das tust, dann reißt es dich entzwei.""Aber meine Erinnerungen tun so weh", sagte sie, "Ich will vergessen. So vieles einfach vergessen.""Wie soll das gehen? Alles, was dir im Leben geschehen ist, geschieht auch heute noch. Was einmal begonnen hat, endet nicht. Da oben in deinem Kopf, da endet es nie.”

“Manchmal", sagte sie, "gehen zwei Menschen aneinander vorbei, sehen sich kurz in die Augen, und alles, was bleibt, ist ein Wunsch. Ein Traum von dem, was hätte geschehen können. Und dann gehen sie mit jedem Schritt weiter voneinander fort und von all ihren Träumen.”

“Aber sie halten es für eine Legende!''Weil sie es dafür halten wollen. Vielleicht würden sich manche Märchen und Mythen als wahr herausstellen, wenn nur jemand den Mut aufbrächte, in einem Brunnen nach einer goldenen Kugel zu suchen oder die Dornenhecke vor einem Schloss zu zerschneiden.”

“Weißt du, die Leute lügen, wenn sie sagen, nichts sei so stark wie die Liebe. Das ist eine der größten und gemeinsten Lügen überhaupt. Liebe ist nicht stark. Sie ist so verletzlich wie nur irgendwas. Und wenn wir nicht achtgeben, dann zerbricht sie wie Glas.""Aber du liebst ihn noch immer. Sogar heute noch.""Und, hilft mir das weiter? Macht mich das stärker?" Sie schüttelte den Kopf. "Es tut nur weh, das ist alles. Es tut furchtbar weh, jeden Tag und jede Nacht. Es ist auch nicht wahr, dass die Zeit alle Wunden heilt. Sie macht es schlimmer. Die Zeit macht es immer nur noch schlimmer.”

“Wahrscheinlich werde ich jede Nacht von dir träumen", sagte er. "Und wenn ich aufwache, weiß ich, dass der beste Teil des Tages schon vorbei ist.""Das hast du irgendwo gelesen.""Hab ich nicht.”

“Verrücktheiten können ganz normal sein, solange man sie selbst tut; beobachtet man einen anderen dabei, rümpft man die Nase, dreht sich rasch um und geht davon.”

“Sie dachte noch an Unkes Maske, als sie einschlief, und im Halbschlaf fragte sie sich, ob nicht jedermann bisweilen eine Maske trug.Eine Maske der Freude, eine Maske der Trauer, eine Maske der Gleichgültigkeit.Eine Maske aus Ihr-seht-mich-nicht.”

“If they [won], it would only be because they didn't forget what they were. Who they were. And that it was worth it to fight just for that.”

“For the images of the gods are much easier to misuse for human purposes than the gods themselves. Images have no will and no desires. Statues stand for nothing but the goals of the rulers. … The word of a god is, in truth, only the word of the one who erected his statue.”

“Divinity is only in the eye of the beholder”

“Was ist Magie anderes als eine Technik, die die meistens Menschen nicht verstehen - noch nicht oder nicht mehr?”

“Manche von uns haben Lieblingsbücher, die sie nie gelesen haben. Manche sogar welche, die nie geschrieben wurden. Dieses hier ist eines von meinen, und deshalb schreibe ich es auf.”

“This showed once again that everyone had something different to lose in this battle. Some were concerned for their lives, and some for those they cared most about: rays, sea horses, even the chickens that ran free in the streets of the city because they couldn't all be caught in time.”

“Jolly felt salty tears on her lips, and for the first time in her life it occurred to her that sorrow tasted exactly like the sea.”

“The Trader held the ring horizontal and let the fingertips of his right hand circle over it. As he did so, he closed his eyes, murmured something to himself, and was silent again. His eyes remained closed; he did not move. "What's he doing?" whispered Walker.Soledad shrugged her shoulders. "Something terribly powerful.""Wrong." replied the Trader. "I'm concentrating on the mosquito bite on my left heel, so it will stop itching.""Oh," Walker said seriously."Mosquito bite?" Soledad repeated."I can't catch ghosts if my foot is itching. I beg you for a little more understanding.""But of course," Walker said spitefully.”

“Sometimes responsibility sneaked up on you without your seeing it coming, and then, very suddenly, it wouldn’t let you go anymore.”