Katie Kacvinsky

“You're an abnormality. People get scared when they come across something that doesn't behave the way they expect it to. People like labels and categories and things that they can predict. When people can't explain something, they assume it's because there's something wrong with it. They try to fix it or change it. They mess with it until it's translatable and they bring it down to their level. Trying to change someone is easier than trying to accept them. It's how they were programmed”

“We'll never realize our potential if we always live inside the boundaries of what we fear.”

“What's the fun in always knowing where things will take you?”

“Life is three-dimensional, but there are other dimensions we can't see, can only feel, and those are the ones I want to explore.”

“You can always make time for people. The point is, you have to want to.”

“I don't know for sure where I'm going to end up.But I know who I love. And I'm figuring out that might be enough to live for.”

“Gray yells that he can't just let me go because you don't give up on the people you love, but maybe I need to lose someone in order to understand that."You're dreaming," he says. "Call me when you decide to wake up.”

“I started to teach him how to swim only to leave him in the deep end too soon.”

“I wonder if it's okay to let a single person be the center of your life.”

“You know you love someone when he makes all the ordinary moments feel extraordinary. When doing absolutely nothing feels like everything. Gray assumed he wasn't enough. And what I didn't admit, what I didn't realize at the time, is that it's just the opposite. He was too much, That kind of love is the kind that traps you. And I'm not ready for it yet.”

“Apparently food encourages not only fat cells, but thinking - two things models seem to be missing.”

“I asked Lila, the owner, what the secret ingredient was, she told me it was happiness. She said when you put happiness into what you cook, it tastes so much better. She told me when you put happiness into your job and your relationships, they grow. If you're not enjoying what you're doing or who you're doing it with, it won't turn out, she told me.”

“Fate can only get you so far. It can put you down the right path or introduce you to a particular person, but the rest is up to you. Even the strongest storm need a wind to carry them in.”

“My idea of perfect is being too busy laughing at yourself to care what you look like”

“Hey, God, did I do something to piss you off? Because I'm starting to think you enjoy twisting the knife in my heart every chance you get. If too much happiness dares to encroach on my life, does some siren go off up there? Uh-oh, Gray's too happy right now. We can't have that. Time to shit all over his life again.”

“I'm not your only love, Gray," She insisted. "I'm just your first love.”

“It's cruel what I love most about Dylan is the very reason why I can't have her.”

“I love you," she says. "But that doesn't mean I'm ready to give up my life for you. I don't want to pull over and park right now. I want to see places, Gray. I want to live my life. You're asking me to give up who I am. If I move with you, I'll just be living your life. Your dream. I'll regret the things you're going to hold me back from doing, and then I'll probably blame you. And that's not fair to either of us.”

“I don't want to lose you," he says.I stop because I finally know what I need to say."Gray, I'm not yours to lose.”

“How am I?"[...]"Sometimes it's a rush, like skydiving and other times it's just a smooth ride, like floating in the middle of a calm lake. It's like standing next to a hot fire that's shooting sparks, or walking on the sun and then rolling in the snow. It's like plate tectonics and hailstorms and lighting and earthquakes and hurricane-force winds all happening at once but then everything suddenly stops moving and your mind draws a blank and everything's really peaceful. It's like your mind explodes and all that's left inside your body is heat.”

“If you're lucky enough to fall in love with someone, then forget about your imperfections. Because in their eyes, you're perfect. You won't get anywhere in life until you let go of your stupid ego.”

“someone's taught me to expect more out of people and never to settle.”

“I do the "I just got laid," walk for days after our trip to Los Angeles. It's more like a strut. It's pretty obvious when you're doing it. Your mind is clouded in an euphoric high. Your head held at an angle twenty degrees higher than normal. There's a continual smart-ass grin on your face. Your eyes twinkle, literally, as if stardust fell inside them. You walk taller. Prouder. Your back is held straighter. Shoulders wider. You know you're hot. It's been proven. You had sex.”

“Sex only gets better, and we agree we'd like to practice. He tells me, speaking of practice, he can set up a training schedule. And now he rambles.He inform me every morning will begin with some calisthenics followed by sex. Then we'll eat a breakfast rich in carbohydrates to maintain energy, followed by sex. In the evening, there'll be some warm-up stretches followed by sex. Then a cooldown followed by more sex. The ice cream, preferably chocolate. Then sleep to rest up for the morning practice.I brush my lips across his warm shoulder. "I'm glad to see you're a normal healthy male.”

“We walk into the lobby of the hotel and I try not to grin at the man behind the counter. I refrain from screaming, "I'm going to have sex! With this gorgeous woman. She want to have sex. I didn't even have to ask, she just want to have sex. With me! Can you believe it?" I take deep breaths and try to downplay that this moment is the highlight of my life. Air kicks and high-fives probably wouldn't be a cool more right now.”

“I tell Dylan I have to go to the bathroom. I shut the door and try to pee, but my dick's already sticking straight up at the ceiling. Great. I'm sure she caught that minor detail. We haven't even kissed yet. I shake my head and do my best to pee. I pull my pants back up, trying to make my hard-on less obvious. I stare at myself in the mirror and splash cold water on my face to calm down. My face flushed.I concentrate on one critical thing. Last, Gray. You've got to make it last. No two pumps, you're done. Don't be that guy. You're stronger than that.Think sports.Try to name every candy bar you can.Think about anything but what her body feel like, because as soon as you let yourself go there, It's over.Enough with the pep talk. I take a deep breath. This is it. It's what you were born to do.”

“Victims don't make it very far in life”

“Life's too short to hold back forgiveness.”

“It's easy to hear words. It's another thing to accept them.”

“I would never hit Dylan. I would never hurt her. But I just beat her up with words.”

“I crossed a line by making his family's personal business my own. But isn't that what friendship is? Isn't that what love is? It's more than caring and laughing and inspiring. It's about taking hurt and anger off people's shoulders and helping to carry the weight. It's more important to love people on the worst days than their best.”

“What do you want to see?" he asks. What I always want to see. "A place I'll never forget.”

“We're taught to love only a few people. We think it's this sacred resource, like we'll run out of it at some point. But the more you love, the more it's returned to you. Hands down. You can't argue with that.""Maybe," I say. "Or maybe you stop giving it so freely because one day it's taken away and it hurts so much, you need to protect yourself."She know what I'm referring to. "Until you realize love's the only think worth living for in the first place.”

“First I thought she was crazy. Now I'm crazy about her.”

“I don't know what to say. I hate that. I wish I had all the answers for you. I wish I could explain why this happened.”

“People become pieces inside of you. They can fill you up and make you a whole.”

“She smirks as she applies some Chap Stick on her lips.I'm jealous of a Chap Stick. There's a first.”

“if you never leave where you came from, I don't think you'll ever figure out who you are.”

“I'm fine with being alone," he insists. "I like the company I keep. Most people need constant distractions, because if they slow down long enough to evaluate their lives, it makes them internally combust. Like if you folded them inside out, you'd find a huge monster inside. A train wreck.”

“People annoy the crap out of me," he says. "I think people are nervous and loud and rude and selfish and stupid pretty much all the time."[...]"If they're beautiful they know it, so they don't bother having a personality or associating with people that don't fit into their league or can't afford their company. And, somehow these people are the most popular, which makes absolutely no sense. People try so hard to be accepted, they turn into a walking stereotype. They're pathetically easy to predict. They're insecure and try to mask it with whatever product corporate America is currently making and they always let you down. Just give them enough time, and they will."[...]"I think everyone's caught up in these narrow-minded worlds and they think their world exists in the center of the universe. Relationship only happen when it's convenient. You have to walk on eggshells for people because that's how strong they are these days. And you can't confront people, because if you do, that brittle shell of confidence will crack. So we all become passive cowards that carry a fake smile wherever we go because God forbid you let your guard down long enough for people to see your life isn't perfect. That you have a few flaws. Because who wants to see that?”

“You know, being normal isn't a terrible thing," he says."It isn't terrible," I agree. "It's just a lack of courage.”

“It's dying," I say. "When the center is exposed like that, it doesn't have a chance.""But it's beautiful," she points out, I stare at the shriveling cactus and try to see the beauty in it."That's the way I want to go out," she decides."What?" I ask. "Torn up and ripped open?"She shakes her head. "Totally exposed, with no regrets. You can tell this cactus lived; it has the battle scars to prove it. Why go out looking perfect and put together? It means you didn't experience anything. You didn't take any risks.”

“I can't believe she tricked me into spending another day with her. I have a life, I want to tell her. I have four episodes of Myth Busters to catch up on. Okay, I don't have a life.”

“On the surface he might be callused, but looking through a creative lens, I see layers and textures. He reminds me of a folding chair, closed up and waiting to be shoved in a storage closet. I'm determined to see him unfold.”

“I’d rather fail miserably pursuing my dreams than succeed at something I have to settle for”

“If we could only see internal beauty, what would people look like? Who would the supermodels be?”

“Cameras give one person a thousand eyes. They take us light years away. Pictures introduce us to a million strangers. They let us travel to other planets. It's like teleporting. It's the magic that intrigues me.”

“Sometimes you have to lose what you have in order to gain what you need.”

“Love is the only drug that's healthy to overdose on.”

“Maybe, when you meet the right person, it's like meeting a piece of yourself that you never knew existed because somebody had to open it up for you. Pull it out of you. Point it out to you.”