Kem

When Kem was young he liked bourbon, motorcycles and surfing.

Now that he's older his tastes have evolved and he now enjoys EXPENSIVE bourbon, 4WD Utility Vehicles that have air conditioning and cup holders, and surfing.... when it's not cold.

He is the proud father of 2 naughty children of the adult human variety who are wonderful but deserve their own stories so will not be talked about any more here.

He collects loud shirts, enjoys 'Talk Like A Pirate Day', looks forward to going to the cinema because movie snacks don't count as junk food in his diet (there ARE no healthy options at the cinema!) and would probably be completely lost but he keeps handing himself in to lost property departments at train stations.

With a lack of modesty, an unawareness of political correctness and even poorer sense of humour he is the last person you want to invite to dinner

Chronic Sufferer of Peter Pan complex

the tower.

... in the beginning there was a beggar ... he was never quite accustomed to his poverty ... he was lost … always escaping ... he had lived in solitude for a long long time ... he knew that one day he would die alone ... he was a little frightened ... he met a juggler ... in her he saw a future ... a thing he had not contemplated for himself ... she was his dream … a vision of crystalline perfection ... with her he saw magical things ...

In a long ago forest , not so far away, a raggedy man once walked. He was neither young nor old. He walked amongst the shaded groves and glades, shoulders slumped, eyes downcast. He was simple, dusty and empty. So empty. Except of course for his dreams and memories.

All at once he came to a clearing. In the centre of the clearing stood a tower. At the very top of the tower was a window, in which he saw a woman idly tossing some balls in the air. There was a wistful melancholy about her attitude, which seemed so familiar to him that it did not pass un-noticed.

As he watched, he saw her look forlornly to the ground, and as he followed her gaze, he saw a small brightly coloured object on the ground. He guessed it to be one of the balls she was so distractedly tossing about. He also noted a particularly murky and ominous looking moat surrounding the tower.

He leaned in the shade of a large tree and watched. The water in the moat was not still.

A large and handsome knight appeared on a sleek charger. He saw the woman in the tower and, being a knight, knew he had to rescue her. The beggar man saw her thrill at the sight of this would-be rescuer, and clap her hands in glee.

The knight rode up to the beggar man and imperiously handed him the reins. He commanded him to feed and tend to the horse, while the knight was doing knightly things. The ragged man began to tell of the unstill water, but was silenced by the powerful knight.

He shrugged his shoulders and watched.

No sooner had the knight entered the moat than a commotion erupted, dragons and moat monsters leapt from the water and devoured the knight in an instant. The water swirled, and stilled, broken only by occasional ripples.

The raggedy man looked from the moat, to the woman, to the sleek horse and smiled. He led the horse to a small clearing and secured it. A horse was worth a lot in some places. He returned to his vantage point under the tree and continued his study of the tower, and in particular the small brightly coloured ball at its base.

As he stood watching, a succession of imperious knights interrupted his thoughts. They each in turn commanded the raggedy beggar man to tend their fine steeds, they each in turn ignored his mumbling and gesturing about unstill waters, and they were each in turn devoured by the moat monsters and dragons. By the end of three days the man had a handsome herd of horses, if four horses constitutes a herd.