Kerrelyn Sparks

“Why? What kind of man would pleasure his woman by hurting her.' Angus paced across the path. ''Tis a man's duty, nay, his privilege, to give his woman all the pleasure she can bear. She should be panting and writhing with pleasure.'Emma remained silent, staring at him. Did she not believe him?He walked toward her. 'A real man would take all night if need be to make sure his woman was fully sated. She should be screaming that she canna endure any more.'Emma's eyes widened.'It should be a man's greatest pleasure to see his woman shuddering in the throes of passion.'She took a deep breath and shifted her weight from one foot to another.He paced back and forth. 'Only when she is begging for him should a man see to his own needs. And he should never, ever harm her.' He stopped in front of her 'Am I totally wrong in this?''No,' she squeaked.”

“He glanced at her, his hair wild and his eyes red. 'May I give ye pleasure?'Still a gentleman. Emma smiled. But his voice sounded gruff and his appearance was that of an untamed barbarian. She grabbed handfuls of his hair and pulled his head close to hers. 'Make me scream.'His eyes gleamed hotter. 'Ye will. Many times ere the night is over.”

“When ye've lived as long as I have, ye realize how relative time is. I've endured centuries that passed in the blink of an eye as if I were barely breathing.' He stopped and faced her. 'Or I can experience an entire lifetime in the span of a few nights. All the hope and passion that makes life worth living, 'tis suddenly surrounding me like a gift from God.' (Angus MacKay)”

“Ye are different, Emma. I doona need ye in order to survive. But surviving is no' the same as living. Or the same as feeling human again. I am alive when I'm with you. Ye feed my soul. (Angus MacKay)”

“In just a week, he'd taught her so much. That good, honorable men like him stayed the same after death. That she'd existed for too long with only hatred and revenge in her heart. Love was a much nobler cause to live for. Love didn't follow its own selfish agenda; it was willing to make sacrifices for others. How strange that it took an undead man to show her how to live.”

“I'm too sexy for my cape...”

“Right. I can see it now. Merry Christmas, everybody! And by the way, did I tell you I'm a vampire? No need to pass the gravy, just bare your neck-”

“—Necesito sentir que tengo el control.—Ah, ahora me has dado un desafío. — Él dio un paso más cerca. — Para hacerte perder el control.”

“A series of howls and war cries echoed through the camp....The werewolves and Japanese had attacked."-pg.353 Forbidden Nights with a Vampire Kerrelyn Sparks”

“Amore.” Giacomo pressed a hand against his heart. “How we suffer for it.”

“Oh my God, she’d kissed him! She’d stuck her tongue inside a creature from hell. Oh jeez, this would sound great in confession. Say two Hail Marys and avoid further contact with the spawn of the devil.”

“... Robby wasn't sure what beef stroganoff looked like, but he took grim pleasure in being called a mean and nasty dude.”

“Gregori leaned forward. "Can you believe it? We're all a bunch of mutants! Just like the Ninja Turtles."Angus blinked. "We - we're like... turtles?"Gregori burst out lauging.Ian shook his head, grinning.Connor snorted. "Nay. We have vampire DNA. No turtles.”

“I doona need drugs. I am naturally a mean bastard.”

“After four hundred and ninety-three years of teleporting from one place to another, Angus Mackay still felt an urge to peek under his kilt to ensure everything had arrived in fine working condition. There were some areas where a man, vampire or not, would hate to find himself shortchanged.”

“Roman pressed the handkerchief against the gaping hole where his right fang should be. "Thit.""You could use your own healing powers to seal the vein shut," Laszlo suggested."It would be clothed permanently. I'd be a one-thided eater for all eternity." Roman removed the bloody handkerchief from his mouth and reinserted his fang into the whole.... "Sir, I suggest you go to a dentist." Laszlo picked up the fang and offered it to Roman. "I've heard they can put a lost tooth back.""Oh, right." Gregori snorted. "What's he supposed to do, waltz into a dental office and say, 'Excuse me, I'm a vampire and I lost a fang in the neck of a sex toy.' They're not going to be line up to help him.”

“She smiled. "You're looking hot, dude."Gregori strutted toward the door. "I'm too sexy for my cape, too sexy for my fangs. Too sexy." He whirled in a circle, then struck a disco pose with a hand pointing at the ceiling. "Too sexy!" He left with a flourish of his cape.Shanna grinned. "I think he enjoys being a vampire.”

“Ta-da!" The man whipped open his coat.Shit! He wasn't wearing any clothes at all. She grimaced. Just her luck to go vampire hunting and find a flasher.”

“What's he doing?" Bethany asked. "He's bowing.'Good day milday." Bethany giggled. "Crocodiles don't bow." "They should when they meet a princess.”

“Ignore him," Heather begged. "I do. Constantly." Jean-Luc studied the coach, then turned to Heather with a wary look. "Every man in this town wants you." She laughed. "Yea, right. The old guys from the nursing home go into cardiac arrest whenever I walk by." His gaze drifted over her. "I can believe that.”

“Jean-Luc glanced at the coach. "Who is that man? What is that machine?""It's a dunking booth.""Ah, I understand." Jean-Luc nodded. "If he dose not drown, then he is a witch""No, he's just a creep. It's a game.”

“Before he had time to figure it out, his walkie-talkie crackled and a voice came on. He punched a button. "Sheriff here. What's up?" "Someone called about a public disturbance behind schmitty's bar," a woman's voice reported. "Cathy use the proper code number," Billy growled. "There ain't no number for a guy acting like a cockroach!" the woman yelled. "he climbed into their Dumpster and he's wallowing in the trash.”

“He assaulted the man with a psychic wave. "You are a cockroach." In his inebraited state, Cody had no resistance at all to a vampire mind control. He fell to the floor and scurried around the foyer on all fours. "I am a cockroach" he muttered in a squeaky voice. "Hmm, about time you figured that one out," Fidelia steped back as he brushed against her long skirt.”

“His mouth tilted and his eyes twinkled. "I knew it. One look into yer eyes and I could fall at yet feet.”

“But he’s a vampire.” — HeatherFidelia shrugged. “Nobody’s perfect. My second husband—he had six toes on one foot.”“This is a little more serious than that. Jean-Luc is literally dead half the time.”Fidelia nodded. “For most men, that would be an improvement.”

“I can’t date a man who has survived for centuries by biting women and sucking their blood.” — Heather“I bet he gives one hell of a hickey.” — Fidelia”

“Oh,Angus, where's the beef?”

“Digger motioned to Zoltan. “What about that one? He has funny eyes. Could be an alien.”“He’s Zoltan, a vampire like me,” Phineas explained.“Are you sure? Zoltan sounds like an alien planet.”

“Damn.” Phineas turned the Big Boy off, then noticed he’d left the box on the bed. Damn, had Zoltan seen it? He stuffed the phallus back into the box, but must have jammed too hard, for it started wiggling again.“Stop it.” He punched a button, but it merely increased its speed, the tip spiraling in wild circles.Damn! He watched in horror. It was like a whirlybird on steroids! How could a man compete with that? He ripped the balls off it and emptied out the batteries. “Die, you freakin’ dildo, die!”

“Jack zoomed into the clearing at vampire speed. His eyes widened at the sight of Phineas and Brynley hovering twelve feet in the air. “I heard a gunshot. Are you all right?”“Dagnabbit! Another alien!” Digger bellowed.“Where?” Jack glanced behind him, then gasped when Digger shifted back into a bear and charged. He levitated, too. “Merda! Now I see why you’re floating.”

“I see.” The nurse nodded. “How can I help you?”“I’m Inspector Mc—” Phineas halted, obviously having second thoughts about using his real name.“Man-boob,” Brynley finished for him.He stiffened.“What can I do for you, Inspector McMan-boob?” the nurse asked.He gritted his teeth. “It’s muscle.”“Inspector Muscle?” the nurse asked.“Yes. Exactly.” He gave Brynley a triumphant look. “And this is my assistant, Nurse—”“Doctor,” Brynley corrected him.“Doctor . . .” He glanced down at her chest. “A-cup.”“B-cup!”He arched a brow. “You’ll have to prove it.”

“Oh yeah. It would be terrible for you to have only one working fang. Your friends might want to call you Lefty”

“Roman might have survived the Great Vampire War of 1710, but he was about to face an even worse terror.A mortal female in full rage.”

“Well, guess what?" Shanna's excited voice interrupted his thoughts. "They're going to have twins! Isn't that exciting!"Robby nodded. "Aye. I can barely contain myself."She gave him a wry look. "You should try to be happy for your friends.""I am. I'm delighted that everyone but me is happily married and multiplying like bloody rabbits.”

“Shanna planted her hands on her hips."Getting drunk is not going to solve your problems." "Aye, but t'will make me no' give a damn."(Robby)”

“Heat invaded her cheeks. She wasn't used to men seeing her whithout her clothes on. And here was in her boring white cotton bra and panties. damn, if only she'd worn her black lace undies. She winced inwardly. She'd come close to getting mauled by a jaguar, and all she could think about was the sexiness factor of her underwear? She must be in shock.”

“...You could be a member of a special, macho, elite force, protecting mankind from insidios evil in all forms, including the triple-decker bacon cheeseburger.""I can saftly say I've never battled a cheeseburger.”

“Somethings different,"Carlos continued."Tonight you came in with no scowling or growling.Why the change?"Robby shrugged one shoulder."I'm trying to convince you i'm no' crazy.If I kept doing the same thing when it wasna working, would that no' be crazy?""Good point.”

“There's no bright side," Phineas objected. "The man's got no gonads.""But she hit the target," Carlos said."The man has got no gonads," Phineas repeated forcefully."It was an accident." Caitlyn set her gun on the counter. "I was aiming for his chest.""You blew his pecker to Connecticut," Phineas muttered.She grinned. "I think you have issues, Phineas. It was only a paper pecker.”

“Don’t give me the evil eye. You were the one about to star in an X-rated porno flick."-Phineas”

“Phineas gave Abigail an encouraging smile. “Chillax, dudette. He didn’t want to bite you.”She wondered if she’d overreacted. “He didn’t?”“Naw.” Phineas smirked. “He just wanted to jump your bones.”

“Sean groaned. “What are you thinking? The future of Vamps around the world depends on this, and you’re subjecting those poor innocent girls to a playboy and the self-proclaimed Love Doctor?”Phineas huffed. “Dude, I can be a perfect gentleman.”“On what planet?” Sean growled.”

“Girl, are you on medication?” Nurse Debra asked.“No, of course not,” Madison answered impatiently.“Maybe you should be,” Debra muttered.”

“Garrett ran a hand through his hair. “How can you stay the head of the Stake-Out team? Isn’t that a conflict of interest?”“You expect me to stake myself?” Sean growled.“I’ve got a nice, big one you can borrow,” Gregori suggested.”

“Phineas leaped to his feet, giving Vanda a appalled look. "Vanda! Why'd you do it?""What?" Vanda stood.Phineas slapped a hand against his brow. "you can't attack these people jut because you hate Naruto!”

“What are you waiting for?" shanna asked. "He's dying! Do it!" Conner looked at Angus. "Ye do it. It was yer idea.""Nay? Ye were the first to suggest it. Ye do it.""I'm no' touching him." Conner said.He nudged Phineas "Ye do it.""I don't even know how!" Phineas poked at Robby. "You do it.""Why me?" Robby turned to Angus. "Ye're the expert. Ye do it."Angus grimaced. "I'm no' doing it. I hate the bugger.""Stop it!" Shanna screamed "You- Forget it! I'll do it myself.""Shanna you don't know how," Roman said."Gods blood. I guess I have to do it." "You guess?" Shanna cried "Are you going to let him die?""He threatens to kill me every time he sees me.”

“This is Ian. He's no' usually speechless. Or so well dressed."-ConnerI shouldna wear my best clothes to meet an angel from heaven?"-Ian"You look very nice, I love your shirt."-Marielle"Thank you"-Ian"I have a shirt like that, too."-Conner”

“I'm talking about doing something good for mankind. Imagine how awesome everyone would feel if they knew all that holy stuff was real." -Gregori"Stuff? Four years of giving sermons, and that what I get back? Holy stuff?”

“Shanna, sweet Shanna. How can I tell you what you mean to me? When I saw you at the ball it was as if my heart started beating again. You lit up the room, bright in an ocean of black and white. And I thought- my life has been nothing but a dark, endless night. Then you came out like a rainbow and filled my black soul with color.”

“Maggie scoffed. "Denial will not save you when Cupid's arrow find its mark.""If i see Cupid anywhere in the vicinity, I'm ripping his chubby little arms off." Vanda yanked the door open to Romatech.”