Kevin Smith

“Only someone who doesn’t understand art tells an artist their art somehow failed. How the fuck can art fail? Art can’t be graded, because it’s going to mean something different to everyone. You can’t apply a mathematical absolute to art because there is no one formula for self-expression.”

“People always ask me if I hate the nuns. Do I make my movies extra dirty to piss them off? I always say no, that's not the point. To a Catholic, a movie is only dirty if it makes you want to have sex more. If it makes you feel sick, disgusted, ashamed of your own body, then it's not a dirty movie at all. It's a Catholic movie. And I make very Catholic movies.”

“My Father taught me how to be a man – and not by instilling in me a sense of machismo or an agenda of dominance. He taught me that a real man doesn’t take, he gives; he doesn’t use force, he uses logic; doesn’t play the role of trouble-maker, but rather, trouble-shooter; and most importantly, a real man is defined by what’s in his heart, not his pants.”

“Brodie Bruce:I LOVE THE SMELL OF COMMERCE IN THE MORNING!”

“If you're alive, kick into drive. Chase whimsies. See if you can turn dreams into a way to make a living, if not an entire way of life.”

“Remember: It costs nothing to encourage an artist, and the potential benefits are staggering. A pat on the back to an artist now could one day result in your favorite film, or the cartoon you love to get stoned watching, or the song that saves your life. Discourage an artist, you get absolutely nothing in return, ever.”

“As human beings we govern our actions with our deepest fears. But if you name that shit, you claim that shit: let enough people into your closet and you'll find there's no more room for skeletons. Leave yourself nowhere to hide and you can live your life unguarded.”

“In the face of such hopelessness as our eventual, unavoidable death, there is little sense in not at least trying to accomplish all of your wildest dreams in life.”

“I don't have to write to South West buddy. In an hour South West gonna come looking for me!”

“GOD DOESN’T HATE FAGS ORANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.GOD SAVES! THEN, GOD PASSES ITTO GRETZKY - WHO ROOFS THATSHIT, TOP-SHELF! THEN GOD ANDGRETZKY HIGH FIVE & BELLY-BUMP,CELEBRATING THEIR HOCKEYPROWESS. AND NEVER ONCE DOTHEY GIVE A SHIT IF ANYBODY’SGAY OR NOT.”

“A pat on the back to an artist now could one day result in your favorite film, or the cartoon you loved to get stoned watching, or the song that saves your life. Discourage an artist, you get absolutely nothing in return, ever.”

“There's a trick to being whatever you want to be in life. It starts with the simple belief that you are what or who you say you are. It starts, like all faiths, with a belief-a belief predicated more on whimsy than reality. And you've gotta believe for everybody else, too-until you can show them proof. If you're lucky, someone starts believing with you-first theoretically, then in practice. And two people believing are the start of a congregation. You build a congregation of believers and eventually you set out to craft a cathedral. Sometimes it's just a church; sometimes it turns out to be a chapel. Folks who don't build churches will try to tell you how you're doing it wrong, even as your steeple breaks the clouds. Never listen.”

“It's a joyful thing, being a Catholic. I can't even think about sex without thinking about bodily waste.”

“More often than not, a hero’s most epic battle is the one you never see; it’s the battle that goes on within him or herself.”

“Why take life seriously? No one gets out alive anyways.”

“Stop…stop, that’s the next generation of fans… How dare you pass judgment on those 12-year-old girls who like vampires! They need to be encouraged because in six years they’ll be 18-year-old girls who like vampires and are into all sorts of goth-permissive and whatnot. Don’t Poo-poo it. There’s a plan, and it’s working.”

“I'm not even supposed to be here today.”

“Controversial' as we all know, is often a euphemism for 'interesting and intelligent.”

“AZRAEL:No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air.”

“BRODIE:Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for SEGA.”