Kiersten White

“What, no flirting?” I asked, trying to buy time. “Aren’t you going to at least try to be sexy? Think of all those vampire fans out there—they’d be so disappointed.” I pulled out my silver knife. Probably should have paid more attention during my knife training. “Tell you what. Let me go and I promise not to tell anyone that you aren’t suave.”

“Faeries are unaffected by alcohol, but much to her surprise—and the faeries’ undoing—they get very, very drunk on carbonation. Using copious amounts of Coke, she was able to discover a single faerie’s true name.”

“Apparently being a mermaid is dead dull. I watched The Little Mermaid with her once a few years ago—she thought it was freaking hilarious. She couldn’t stop laughing about the shell-bra thing, given that mermaids aren’t mammals. Plus, as she put it, Prince Eric was far too hairy and “peach colored” for her taste. I always thought he was pretty hot, but then again, I am a mammal.”

“What do you think? Does this face make me look fat?”

“VAMPIRESI see things you can't seeWEREWOLVESI find things that hunt you FAERIESI am your protectorSHAPESHIFTERSBut even Ican't protectyou now.”

“Told you I was going to mess up your make up," he said, a smug grin on his face.”

“We sat down and Lend put his arm around me. Every single jaw at the table dropped."Man," John said, shaking his head. "All this time I was pretty sure you were gay.”

“I could have melted ice, my smile was so bright.”

“Maybe I'm weird, but watching Lend drive was sexy.”

“What a lovely balance. Lend shows whatever he wants the world to see and you see through whatever the world wants to show you.”

“He saved me. He freaking electrocuted himself to save me. I’m gonna be there when he wakes up so I can tell him thanks.”

“He reached out and put his hand on top of mine. My heart skipped a beat - he liked me, too!"You're worried about what's killing the paranormals aren't you?"Crap. He didn't like me.”

“Oh relax." I waved my hand dismissively. "If he wanted to kill me, he already would have. I brought him all these sharp pencils, ideal for stabbing, and he's been a perfect gentleman.”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Seriously, did I look like some sort of pyscho assassin? Maybe it was the pink sneakers. Or the heart earrings?”

“You bet I'm trouble.”

“Streams of melting snow.”

“Silver knives! Painful and sometimes deadly to all paranormals!''Tasey!' I counterd 'Hot pink and sparkly!”

“Yo soy carne muerta. Translation: I am dead meat.”

“Plus as she put it, Prince Eric was far too hairy and peach colored for her taste. I always thought he was pretty hott, but then again, I am a mammal.”

“If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you.”

“Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine’s pink withrhinestones.”

“I hate the vamp jobs. They think they're so suave. It's not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want to be all sexy, too. And trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy.”

“...sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I get bored. And sometimes all I want, more than anything else in the world, is to go on a freaking date.”

“Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless”

“I guess I can't blame him for feeling bitter. Going from being the terror of Bulgarian nights to a janitor would kinda suck”

“Bleep stupid bleep bleep faeries and their bleep bleep bleep obsessions. He had better stop bleep bleep bleep the bleep bleep rules or I will bleep bleep bleep the little bleeeeeeep.” All in a completely robotic monotone.”

“Do you have a driver's license?"He laughed. "That's important?""Oh yeah! I'd kill for a driver's license! Hey, maybe that's what the poem means! I'm going to go berserk and start attacking people because they won't let me drive...""Could be, you never know. But yes, I have a driver's license."I leaned back against the wall, sighing. "Man, that must be so cool.""It ranks right up there with lockers. In fact, sometimes I put my drivers license inside my locker, and it's so cool I worry that the whole thing might explode with the sheer coolness of it all.”